Skin to Skin

Chapter 22

The first few days were the worse, he couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep. Castiel couldn't bring himself to function most days and his friend Kevin constantly came to check in on him, just to make sure he was still breathing. Castiel sat on the floor against his bed, knees to chest, crying and staring off into nowhere. He took a swig of the left over whiskey him and Dean never finished, let the liqour flow through his veins. There was a knock on his door and he didn't bother to get up, the person knocked a few more times. "Cassy? Cassy you okay?" Kevin kicked in his door and relief washed over his face when he saw Castiel was fine. "What the fuck?" Castiel slurred. He stood up, swaying a bit, and looked at the splintered wood of his doorway. "Seriously?" Kevin yanked the whiskey bottle out of Castiel's hand and set it down on his desk. "I haven't seen or heard from you in days. I was scared.." Castiel scoffed, "Scared I killed myself?" Kevin flinched at Castiel's harsh words, why is he being such a dick to his friend who's only trying to help him. "Cassy you can't keep doing this. You can't live like this." Castiel ran fingers through greasy blonde hair. "Watch me." He picked the whiskey bottle back up and took a few swallows. "When was the last time you ate?" Castiel shrugged, he doesn't think he's eaten in a quite awhile, he hasn't felt hungry. "The night before he left." Kevin gasped and yet again took the bottle from him. "That was over a week ago Castiel. Come to my room, please. I have food, you need to eat." Castiel sat in his computer chair and stared at his hands, not really listening to Kevin. "Over a week ago?" It felt like yesterday to him, he could still feel Dean's lips on his, the smell of his leather jacket. Castiel shook his head. "I'll eat when I'm ready, Kev. I can't eat right now. Please go..." Kevin looked conflicted he really wants to help Castiel, but Castiel doesn't want it. If he doesn't want it Castiel won't accept it no matter how much his friend persists. "Okay...sorry about your door."Castiel didn't need or want his friends help, he needed Dean. He needed to not be alone again. Castiel grabbed his keys and walked outside. It was cold out and he had nothing on but a tank top and capris, his bare feet burning at the touch of the freezing sidewalk. Castiel walked until he found a bench, he sat down and stared at the grey sky, letting the cold air fill his lungs. This was nice, it made him feel more aware, more part of reality. Castiel had noticed since he's not sleeping he's having trouble focusing on what's really happening around him. He has no concept of time, he didn't even realize it had been over a week since Dean left. "Cassy?" Castiel sighed, he had to remind himself Kevin is just being his friend. He needs to not push him away. "What?" "Cassy its like 50 degrees out here and you barely have anything on." Castiel shrugged, he didn't see the point his friend was trying to make. "So?" "You're going to get sick. You haven't ate, you haven't slept, now you're sitting out here in the freezing cold." Castiel bit his lips, chewed the inside of his cheeks. He knew his friend was right but he couldn't bring himself to care. He just didn't care.