Skin to Skin

Chapter 32

When they got back to Castiel's dorm Dean was still having a hard time keeping himself together. Not so much his guilt or his depression but the anxiety was toxic, it was flowing through every inch of his body and he felt sick because of it. The fear of what Castiel might think of him, of what he might say about Dean was too much for him to handle and stay in touch with reality. He allowed himself to detach, no emotions, no thoughts, the feeling of lead in his stomach was almost gone. Dean heard a loud noise and he blinked suddenly becoming aware that they were sitting on Castiel's floor. He had no recollection of getting there and Castiel was in his face, eyes rimmed red and swollen from obvious crying. "Dean? Dean?" He tried to talk and couldn't so he cleared his throat. "Wh-what- happened?" Castiel clung to Dean and immediately worried he might have hurt him. He pushed Castiel away, checked his face, his arms, ripped up his shirt....nothing. "Dean stop, I'm fine. You didn't hurt me, you blacked out." Dean swallowed and looked at his hands. What's happening to him? "Let's take a shower, okay? The hot water will probably do us both good right now." Dean nodded slowly, his head still fuzzy and trying to remember what happened but he couldn't. It was all blank. Castiel stood up and reached  a hand down to help him stand. "Come on, baby." Castiel called him baby...he liked it. Castiel never usually called him anything but Dean. "I-I like that." "Hm?" "Please call me baby again.." Castiel smiled at Dean and kissed him chastely, "I love you baby." Dean felt the anxiety melt away a little. Castiel will always be the antidote to his self-inflicted poison.
Dean shed his clothes rather slow, still kind of in a daze as he watched Castiel undress in front of him. He raked his eyes up and down Castiel's body, taking in how beautiful the slender man is and when he met his blue eyes that feeling of utter confusion left. All he needed to know right now is that Castiel is his. Castiel turned on the water and adjusted the temperature, taking Dean's hand when he stepped in under the warm water. He aimed to press Dean's back against the cold tile and Dean stopped him with a hand on his chest. "No, I need to feel you tonight." "Anything you need Dean." "Baby." Castiel kissed him. "Sorry, baby." Dean pressed Castiel's body against the cold tile, the hot water bearing down on their bodies and kissed him like he was drowning and Castiel was the oxygen. His soft tongue exploring Dean's mouth sent shivers through his body and he moaned softly into the kiss. Castiel laced his fingers into Dean's hair, arching his back at the sensation of Dean slotting himself between Castiel's legs and rolling his hips. "Baby.." Dean slowly went down Castiel's bodies with kisses, nibbling on his collar bone, his stomach, his inner thigh and settled on his knees in front of him. Castiel's cock was already dripping with need, begging for Dean's attention. He wrapped his full lips around the head and Castiel let out a shakey gasp. Dean bobbed his head slowly, teasing Castiel until he was chanting both baby and Dean. He stood up and Castiel's eyes were wide with need, his lips parted for a kiss. "Please fuck me baby. I need you in me." Dean kisses Castiel as he picked him up and wrapped his legs around his waist, Castiel's cock pressing against his stomach. He used the shower wall for added support and found Castiel's ready entrance with his hard cock. Dean shuddered as his head breached the first bit of muscle. "Fuck.." Dean slowly sheathed himself with Castiel's body, trying his hardest to not just thrust into that warmth. Castiel shook in Dean's arms, his legs  now loosely wrapped around him. "You okay? It's been awhile." Castiel nodded, a tear slipping from his eye. "Keep going."
Dean kissed away the single tear and pulled out slowly before just as gently going back in. Castiel whimpered in his arms, shaking ever so slightly. Dean moaned deeply into his neck as he rolled his hips into Castiel, moving him against the cold tiles. "Cassy.." ~*~ Castiel was becoming weaker and weaker in Dean's arms. The sensation of the hot water and the cold tiles added to Dean stretching him was so overwhelming. He felt his body relax some and Dean thrust deeper into him, ripping a moan from his parted lips. "Baby...oh god baby please." Dean quickened his pace and Castiel knew he wasn't going to last long, it has been months since they've done this. Dean set Castiel down and kissed him feverishly, his legs were weak so Dean wrapped an arm around his waist. Castiel grabbed Dean's cock and his own, rubbing them together. Dean moaned into his mouth and Castiel almost lost it there. He looked into Dean's green eyes, forest green with lust, his cheeks flushed those freckles mottling his beautiful cheek bones. "God Cassy... I'm so close baby." Castiel leaned back against the tile, Dean leaned over him, his free hand on the wall beside his head for support. Castiel's stomach muscles tightened, his cock throbbed and felt Dean's swell up. "Baby... Dean..." Castiel came and rubbed stroked Dean's cock with his come and the bigger man came in white spurts on Castiel's stomach. Dean collapsed against the wall, breathing heavy and Castiel kissed his chest. "I love you baby."
Castiel finger combed his hair after they got out of the shower, his breath still shakey. His limbs felt heavy from the exertion and he felt unsteady on his feet. Castiel chuckled to himself when he saw Dean was having the same problem with walking and the other man winked at him. Castiel kissed Dean before leaving the bathroom, "It should be a crime to go that long without sex." Dean pursed his lips in thought, "It might be in some countries." Castiel shook his head laughing and walked out of the tiny bathroom. He crawled into his bed and let out a sigh of relief. God his mattress never felt this comfortable before. He watched Dean walk into the room, taking in the sight of his toned body and Castiel felt the stirrings of arousal again but ignored it, he's too tired. Instead he admired the way Dean's back muscles flexed when he shut the bathroom door, the way his bowed legs gave him this permanent machismo gait and Castiel giggled. Poor Dean, he wondered if he ever got picked on for his legs. Dean looked at him in confusion, "What?" "Nothing, just admiring your body." Dean blushed and it made his green eyes stand out even more. "Jesus your beautiful..." Dean shook his head and climbed into the bed. "Shut up with that, I'm not a girl." Castiel frowned, maybe Dean thought he wasn't beautiful but he certainly was. Dean laid on his stomach to plug in the phone charger and Castiel eyed the scars on his back, probably from when he was a kid. Castiel kissed his scars, the discolored skin rough against his lips. Dean tensed underneath him and rolled over, looking at Castiel with troubled eyes. "Please don't.." "It's a part of you Dean. I love all of you." Dean shook his head and ignored Castiel. "You don't know what you're saying." Castiel sighed, his frustration getting the best of him. How could he convince Dean he was worthy of the world. "Oh yea, I start duty on base tomorrow." "What?" "Yea, my Sergeant called and said I have morning duty everyday and the weekends off." Castiel nodded. That sounded fair to him. "Okay." "Okay? Just like that?" Castiel giggled. "Well it's not like I can say no." Dean smirked and gave him a kiss. "Smartass."