Skin to Skin

Chapter 29

Dean laid in the bed and drank himself into oblivion while Castiel typed a paper for one of his classes. His back propped against the wall, head hanging while he sloshed the whiskey around in the glass. Why is he so angry all the time? Is it because of what his dad used to do? Or maybe its something simpler? Maybe its just that Dean is that fucked up. Dean watched Castiel type away, obviously still angry about him not taking his crazy pills. Dean chuckled, that's exactly what he was, crazy. Some days he gets these thoughts, these day dreams of just beating people. He chugged the rest of his drink and leaned over to pour himself more. "Stop." Dean just blinked in confusion and shock, did Castiel just tell him to stop. "You're not going to get shit faced and violent." Dean laughed, it was borderline hysterical. "Because that's what I'll get, huh? I'll just get violent like my father?" Castiel shrugged his shoulders and kept typing. "I don't know what your father is like Dean, but I see how you're acting." Dean grabbed Castiel's arm and made the smaller man face him. "I'm nothing like my father." "Again I wouldn't know, you haven't told me anything." Dean swallowed loudly. He knew what this was. Castiel's trying to get him to open up, maybe he will eventually, but he can't not right now. "No, no you're not going to bait me like that. It isn't fair, Cassy." Castiel's eyes softened, he stood up and kissed Dean. "I just want to help you Dean." He kissed his bottom lip, his jaw. "You're in so much pain."Dean backed away from Castiel, he felt hot, he couldn't breath, he needed to hit, throw something, anything. "No, no you don't get to bait me like that and then act all lovey dovey with me." Castiel watched him with fear, Dean looked at his reflection, his eyes were wild, his face pale. "Dean.." "No Castiel!" The smaller man flinched and Dean instantly regretted yelling. "I'm sorry." He sais quietly, he hugged himself. "Please, please don't touch me right now. I don't know.." Dean choked up, he couldn't talk pass his emotions, he was suffocating. "I'm not scared what you'll do Dean. You're not your father." Dean shook his head, he backed himself into a corner and sank to the floor. "You don't know the people I've hurt. I'm more like him than you know."
~*~
Castiel wanted to cry, he felt like everything was falling apart. Their happy reunion had only last a few hours at best. What is going on? Castiel closed the distance between him and Dean. "I love you, I know you're a good person Dean." Dean laughed hysterically, it terrified Castiel whatever was happening to him, it's like he's having a full mental breakdown. "Baby..." Castiel said softly. Dean looked up at him, terrified and lost in himself. "It's going to be okay, I promise." There was a knock in the door and Kevin barged in without waiting for an answer. "Cassy you okay? I heard yelling." Dean's expression turned to full rage, Castiel backed up, Jesus it was terrifying. "You." His voice was deep, menacing. Castiel ran in front of Kevin when Dean got up, blocking his lover from doing anything awful. "Dean stop." Dean flashed those green eyes at him and for a minute Castiel was actually scared he wouldn't stop. "Kevin, go." "But Castiel. " "I said go, you're making it worse." Kevin's jaw clenched, the muscles in his neck moving. "Yell if you need me." Castiel ushered him out, shut the door and lock it. "It's just us Dean. I made him leave."
Dean stepped back, he fucked up, he can tell by Castiel's expression he fucked up bad. "Cassy.." Dean reached out to him and Castiel flinched but tried to hide it. "I can't. I can't." Dean kept repeating it to himself as he grabbed the whiskey bottle and made his way to the door. "Where are you going Dean?" "I don't know but I can't be here, I'll hurt you." Castiel stepped in front of the door, blocking Dean from leaving. "You are not leaving me again. I don't care how much we argue, how much you yell at me. " Castiel grabbed Dean's jacket and pulled him down for a rough kiss. "I don't care how fucked up either one of us is. You're all I have Dean." Dean swallowed the lump in his throat, he doesn't deserve this. This proclamation of love. "Move Castiel." "Unless you make me move, I'm not budging." Castiel's blue eyes dared Dean to hurt him, dared him to push Castiel out of the way. Fuck. Dean threw the whiskey bottle against the wall and shouted at Castiel. "I can't, you know I can't hurt you!!" The bigger man back stepped and bumped into the computer chair. "Why are you doing this? Why do you love me so much?" Castiel shook his head and hugged himself, a single tear falling. "I don't know why but I know you love me too, right?" Dean nodded, he was afraid of yelling again, afraid of making Castiel flinch. "Then that's all that matters."
Castiel closed the distance between them, their bodies barely an inch apart. "Do you need me Dean?" He looked into Dean's broken eyes, saw love mixed in with all that pain. "Like I need you?" Dean swallowed, Castiel could see the closeness was getting to the other man. They haven't been intimate in the two days he's been back, too much emotional turmoil. "Y-yes." Castiel brushed his lips against Dean's, whispered into his mouth. "Do you remember what I said before you left?" Dean licked his lips, his mouth getting dry. "Skin to skin, it's the best medicine." "Right.." Castiel kissed Dean, drinking in the taste of whiskey, sucking on his bottom lip, breaching this physical wall Dean built between them. Castiel gently pushed Dean onto the bed, straddled his lap. "Let me make you happy Dean." Dean nodded, lacing his fingers in Castiel's hair as he laid on his back, kissing Castiel, his only anchor to reality. Castiel rucked up Dean's shirt, placing kisses on his stomach, his hips, he undid his jeans and pulled them down to his knees. Dean gasped when Castiel kissed his inner thigh, sending a shiver through his body, parts of him that have been untouched for months. "Cas.." Castiel looked up at Dean, watching his face, chasing away the sadness in those green eyes. He drew the head of his cock into his mouth and it tore a moan from Dean, he held tighter onto Castiel's hair. Castiel swiped his tongue over his slit, licking the precum, making Dean buck his hips. "Fuck Cas. Stop teasing baby, just suck it." Castiel took Dean all the way into his mouth, bobbing slowly as he kept his tongue pressed flat to the underside of it. He could feel Dean shaking under his touch, sweat forming on his chest. Dean's breaths were ragged, his cheeks flushed, making those beautiful feckles stand out. Castiel gripped his cock, moving his hand up and down in a twisting motion as he sucked the head. Dean's cock throbbed in his hand and he whimpered softly "Cassy... I'm going to come." Castiel pulled up for a moment before going back down. "Come for me Daddy." Dean pushed Castiel's mouth down onto his cock, fucking into his mouth as he rode through his orgasm. "Aaah..."  Castiel wiped his mouth and settled beside Dean, content and happy. "What about you?" Castiel shook his head and kissed Dean's chest. "This wasn't about me feeling better." Dean nodded, "I love you." "I love you too."