Skin to Skin

Chapter 36

Castiel woke up before Dean, got his uniform ready for him and got himself ready for his first lecture. Dean woke up at the sound of Castiel moving around and he quickly went to Dean's side, helping him sit up. "How do you feel?" Dean sighed and winced from the pain. "Like I was ran over by a Mac." Castiel helped Dean stand up and stumbled a bit at first, Dean isn't much heavier than him but he has more muscle mass. "I can dress myself Cassy." Castiel pursed his lips and still assisted Dean in putting his under shirt on. "Don't lift your arms. It'll just hurt you more." Dean lift his arms anyway and shrugged into his shirt. "Doesn't matter if I hurt or not Cassy." Castiel swallowed back his anxiety while pulling Dean's pants up and the other man swatted his hands away. "I thought we got past this? That you don't deserve to be hurt?" Dean chuckled and put his overcoat on, adjusting his collar in the mirror and smoothed out the lapels. "I opened up to you but that doesn't mean anything, I still feel like I deserve it." "Dean.." "Cassy." Castiel watched Dean lace his boots slowly and it pulled at his heart everytime he saw Dean wince from the pain in his side. "Will you at least go to the infirmary at work? Have them check you out?" Dean stood up, smoothed out his uniform again and kissed Castiel. "What for? It's obvious I have a broken rib or two. There isn't anything they can do for that, you know it Cassy." Castiel rested his head against Dean's firm chest and breathed in the scent of the man he loves, whiskey and leather. "Okay...I guess. Just take it easy." Dean hugged Castiel gingerly and grabbed the car keys. "It's only shore duty, I'll be fine. Have a good day at school." He kissed Castiel once more and then left. Castiel shut the door and leaned against it, breathing through his rapidly closing airway as his anxiety peaked. He can do this, he needs to do this for Dean. Castiel put a hand to his chest and willed his racing heart to slow down. He felt like he was suffocating in the sound of his own heartbeat, he couldn't hear anything else and it was terrifying.
Castiel grabbed his headphones and turned some music on with his phone, trying to tune out the sound of his heart. He shrugged on his satchel and walked to class slowly, the anxiety slowly seeping away with each song that played. Thankfully Kevin wasn't waiting for him this time. He really didn't feel like explaining some lie to his friend about what happened last night. Castiel picked a seat in the back, not planning on paying attention today. There was just too much on his mind to care about social demographics. He flipped through his phone, looking at the random pictures of Dean, himself, or them together. They look so much happier than what they really are, it's amazing. Someone sat beside him and side glanced at the pictures he was looking at. Castiel closed out of the pictures and put his phone in his pocket, ignoring the nosey stranger. "You guys look happy." "I guess." The stranger kept trying to make small talk and it was beginning to irritate him, he gathered his stuff together and moved to another spot. The odds of someone sitting by him back there were rare why that person decided to was beyond him. Castiel tried to focus on his professor, getting bits and pieces of the lecture as he zoned out. Before he knew it class was over and everyone was leaving. Castiel decided to not go to his second lecture, he was too tired and too distracted. He shrugged his satchel on and got up to leave the room. "Mr. Novak?" Castiel glanced at the front of the room, realizing his professor called him. "Oh, yes sir?" "My office in 30 minutes please." Castiel sighed, fuck this couldn't be anything good. He waited outside his professors office, tapping the strap of his satchel as he leaned against the wall. The office door opened and his professor gestured him in. "Mr. Novak, I've noticed you haven't been attending some of my lectures or your just not paying attention." Castiel nodded, he really hoped the man wasn't about to drop him from the class. "I'm sorry, sir. I've just had a lot going on. I will do my best to keep attending." The man stood up and sat on the edge of his desk, closing the distance between him and Castiel.
"You know,  there are things you could to do prevent me from dropping you." His professor placed a hand on Castiel's leg and he jumped out of his chair. "No, no I don't do that anymore." Castiel felt like throwing up, he felt trapped and when he went to open the office door his professor stopped him with a heavy hand on the knob. "I didn't say you could go yet.." The man breathed in Castiel's ear and he tried to fish his phone out of this pocket to text Kevin but his professor knocked it out of his hand. "I heard about the things you used to do. It shouldn't be a problem for you to suck a little dick or bend over my desk for a grade." A fine tremor travelled through Castiel's body. This isn't happening, not again. Castiel elbowed the man in the stomach and pushed him away when he doubled over. "Get your fucking hands off me." Castiel threw the door open and ran out of the office, heading straight to Kevin's dorm. When he got there he banged on the door as loud as he could. "Cassy, whats wrong?" "The professor just tried to force fuck or fail." Kevin gasped and pulled Castiel into his room, rubbing his back to sooth him. "I-I can't stay long. Dean can't know I'm here." Kevin's eyes narrowed a bit. "What happened last night?" Castiel shook his head, that's another crisis for another time. "Not right now. I just needed to tell someone what happened." Kevin sighed and handed Castiel a coke from his mini fridge. "Fine, just be careful. I swear to god if he hurts you Castiel I'm going down for murder." Castiel put the coke down and stepped away from Kevin, so he's not telling his friend Dean pushed him, that he nearly twisted his wrist. Castiel subconsciously rubbed his wrist, remembering Dean's painful grip on him. "He would never hurt me, okay? Dean loves me." Castiel felt sick to his stomach, he knows Dean loves him but he doesn't know anymore how much control his lover has. "I have to go to my place, type my paper and what not." "Sure, tell yourself that." Castiel shot Kevin a dirty look and left the room, walking across the hall to his. Should he tell Dean what happened?
Castiel didn't know yet if he should tell Dean. He kept putting the thought off because he had two unfortunate guesses of how he would react. Castiel stared at the computer screen, the words blurry as his eyes kept readjusting their focus. He leaned back in his computer chair and rubbed his face with a long sigh. Castiel's anxiety was slowly chipping away at his sanity. He didn't know how strong he could stay for Dean, for himself. Dean in the beginning was the strong one, the anchor, now Castiel has put aside his own instability for the sake of Dean, for the sake...of his safety. He didn't want to admit it but Dean terrifies him as much as he loves him and it's like walking on brittle egg shells being around the man. He's not going to tell him but he wants to so badly. In a normal relationship Castiel would have texted or called Dean by now to tell him what happened but he can't do that in this situation. He doesn't know who Dean would blame or how far he would take it. Castiel stood and rummaged through his mini fridge for a beer, anything to calm these persistent thoughts of Dean doing something drastic. Maybe he should trust the man to not do something over the top? If Dean blacks out beating his professor charges would be pressed, Dean would probably be arrested for assault and Castiel would be kicked out of school. Fuck there's just nothing he could do. He can't switch classes it's too late in the semester so Castiel is going to have to sit in the classroom knowing that professor almost did that to him. Castiel chugged his beer till it was empty and got another one. Why is everything falling apart? He popped open the new beer and sipped it gingerly. His life is fucked right now, but it has to get better right?