Joke's On Us

Charlie or Timothy?:Joker pov

I spotted a young man with brown hair past his eyes and a white suit. "That ought to be him." I said to Harley. She looked at him and it was as if she'd seen a ghost. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Charlie. That's Charlie."

"The cousin that ..."

"Yeah." I wanted to burn him for haunting my queen, but I couldn't.

"Harley, I have to do business. I'll just ask if he's seen Timothy." She waited there as I approached Charlie. "Pardon me, sir but have you seen a Timothy Warden?"

"That would be me." He turned to me. His eyes were looking two different ways. I looked back to check on Harley. She was flirting and pickpocketing. That's my girl.

"Well, you asked for me." I sat down across from him at the small table.

"I need you to do something for me. For Penguin actually, but there will be a lot in it for you."

"What is it?"

"I need you to kill Batman."

"That man on the news? Dresses like a bat, runs around saving people?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Penguin is on his way back to New York and he doesn't want the bat to get in his way. If I do this for Penguin I'm in and when I'm in I can make money. I need money. There's five million in it for you." I considered this for a moment.

"Five million dollars to kill a single man?"

"It's more important than you think."

"Consider the bat gone." I laughed and Timothy/Charlie looked a bit nervous. I whistled and Harley came over and sat down next to me. "It appears we have a new mission, Harley. Have you met my girlfriend, Harley Quinn?" Harley smiled and waved. Timothy/Charlie held his breath.

"You really did lose it, Harleen."

"Says you." I wrapped my arm around Harley's waist. "I should kill you."

"We can't do that cupcake." I said.

"Why the hell not?" She retorted.

"He's one of Penguin's now. I'll tell you about it in the car. We don't need to stay."

"Tell me or I shoot the bastard."

"Would you like to explain, Mr. Warden?" I let Charlie take the lead.

"Kill the Batman and you get five million. It also puts you in good with Penguin. You need that money right now. I changed my name so don't call me Charlie anymore. You have two months to kill him. " His eyes were freaking me out.

"You're lucky. You're so fucking lucky." Harley was pissed but she knew we had to take this deal. I rubbed her back and she leaned into me.

"I'll be making my rounds if you'll excuse me." And with that Timothy left.

"I'm sorry honey." I said making puppy dog eyes at Harley.

"It's okay, Puddin." She looked around. "I got you a new watch, babe. " She pulled a Rolex out of her bra. I put it on and winked at her.

"Mind if I join you two?" A man said. He had a black suit over some kind of red metal uniform. The dark skinned man had something over his eye, looked like a small lazer.

"And who might you be?" I asked him, tightening my grip on Harley.

"I'm known as Deadshot."

"I've heard of you!" Both Harley and I said.

"Good to know haha." He sat down. I moved Harley over on my lap.

"So how's it goin?" Harley asked.

"Good uh so I hear you're going after Batman."

"Yes and?" I said.

"I wanna help."

"No." was my immediate response.

"He helped my ex wife take my daughter away from me. I want him dead."

"Blah blah blah. Poor you. Not my problem." I said, bored.

"C'mon Puddin." I looked at Harley.

"What?"

"We just want the money. We'll still get the money but Deadshot here has a good reason to hate the guy." She squeezed me, there.

"Alright." I hated her for making me like this when I couldn't do anything about it. I felt my hand on her smooth leg where the slit in her dress was and she rolled her eyes back.

"I'll uh be going. Here's my number. You two kids have fun now." Deadshot shook his head and got up, leaving a card on the table.

"Did we agree to pay him anything?" I asked Harley.

"Nope." I nodded.

"Dance with me." Harley turned around on my lap, looking shocked.

"You'd dance with me?!" She seemed so happy and I smiled at her nodding. She jumped off
my lap and pulled me up, leading me to the dance floor. "Now Puddin it's a waltz. Can you waltz?"

"I can figure it out." We danced three songs. I held her close to me. It wasn't that hard to dance. I wouldn't tell anyone but I enjoyed it. She looked into my eyes the whole time. While we danced to the last song I began to think of what she said twice now to me 'i love you'. I could not be weak in front of her. She could never know. We had a few drinks after that and then Harley asked to go home. She looked tired so I didn't drive past the speed limit.

When we got home she was a little tipsy so I carried her bridal style up the stairs to my room. I can't remember the last time she used her own room. I set her down on the bed. "You have to change, sweets."

"Ugh fineeee. I really like my dress. Do you like my dress?"

"Yes I do, very much." She got up and peeled her dress off, also removing the guns and knives. She threw on a lacy, red nightgown. I threw my suit to the ground when Harley hung her dress up. I put on sweats and wiped off the red lipstick. I crept into bed next to Harley and she wrapped her arms around me and laid her head in the crook of my neck. She eventually drifted off to sleep and when I was sure she wasn't awake I whispered "I love you Harley Quinn."

No I do not promote drinking and driving for those of you who will read into that scene. Also, I got a few messages about Joker being too "loving" and "unrealistic" towards Harley. This is a fanfiction and this is how I would rewrite their story. I know this is not how their story went that is why it is a fanfiction.