Fostered {h.s}

Chapter 14.

I dropped my bag of belongings on my bedroom floor, both happy and sad to be back to the normal house. Staying the rest of the week at the lake house after being rejected by Harry felt like absolute hell.

I still felt humiliated every time our gazes would lock and it was my own stupid fault. Why did I ever think something would work out for me? Why did I ever think anyone would want me for more than my body. I should have known better. I should have kept myself guarded so I wouldn't fall for him. If I would have been smart about everything, I wouldn't be feeling the miserable way I did. Harry and I barely spoke a word to each other after his rejection and I didn't understand how one guy could have such an effect on me.

A loud crash sounded off down the hall and I peaked around the corner of the door. My eyes found Harry with his arms full of suitcases and duffle bags. What?

"Where are you going?" I asked, not being able to swallow down my curiosity.

"My parents' house, they're back home." Harry answered, not making eye contact with me.

How long had he been planning this? The summer was over and I guessed since he was just staying here for the summer he had to go back sometime. Maybe it was a blessing because this way the humiliation I felt around him would fade. Maybe I could just forget about him and the next time he came to visit, I would be over him.

That night, when I was all alone, everything got worse. The quietness gave me too much time to think, too much time to get lost in my thoughts. They were crushing and I wanted to scream. I wanted to rewind time so I never met Harry. It irritated me to no end that I couldn't get him off my mind.

Before I could give it a second thought, I made my way down the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible, and out the front door. The August night air was warm on my skin and I trembled as I ran down the street towards town. It was a little after midnight and I knew I shouldn't be running away but I felt like I didn't have a choice. I wanted to do something reckless, something to make me forget.

A couple of blocks down the street, a red truck honked at me and slowed down. My first instinct was to run, but what did I have to lose? I stopped and an older guy, maybe around twenty seven or twenty eight, rolled down the window and leaned out of it.

"Where are you going, baby? You need a ride?" He asked. His dark eyes were glazed over and his dirty blonde hair a mess.

Don't talk to strangers, especially older men.

"Anywhere but here," I answered and ran around to jump in the passengers side.

"You look young. I know a bar a town over that serves everyone without asking for I.D."

"Let's go," I said.

On the way to the bar I learned that his name was Brandon and he was twenty eight and lived in the town where we were headed to. I idly wondered if he was an axe murderer but then shook the thought from my head because if so, I'd be dead by now.

Brandon parked his truck and I jumped out to follow him into the bar. As I sat down on one of the bar stools next to him, all I could think about was Christy and Jon, how disappointed they would be in me. They were the only foster family that I actually liked and I was single handedly destroying my chances of staying with them. That was what I did best though, destroying anything good that I had going for myself.

Brandon ordered us each a shot and I downed it as quick as I could, enjoying the burn from my throat to the pit of my stomach. His hand brushed the top of my thigh but I ignored it and pushed it away before drinking another shot he bought us. I spent the next couple of hours drinking shot after shot until my head was dizzy and I could barely stay on the bar stool.

"Come home with me." Brandon slurred. He drove us to his place after that, but I was too drunk to comprehend exactly where we were. It seemed like the ride lasted hours instead of minutes.

Brandon guided me inside and offered me snacks and drinks. I declined his offer and plopped down next to him on the couch. His arm snaked around me and he crushed me into his chest. It didn't feel the same as when I was leaned against Harry's chest; he also didn't smell the same. I wished I could stop comparing everything and everyone to Harry.

Brandon placed his hand under my chin and moved my face towards his. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I was all for this because it was all a distraction. His mouth began to move on mine and I started to feel sick. It felt so wrong to be kissing anyone else but Harry. It felt kind of like betraying him, although we weren't even together. Brandon lowered me down onto my back and hovered over me. He started to kiss my neck and grind his body against mine. I pushed hard against his broad chest because I couldn't handle it anymore. It wasn't the same as when I was with Harry.

"What is it, babe?" Brandon asked, sitting back up.

"Don't call me that, just don't."

A realization as heavy as a thousand pounds of bricks hit me all at once. I loved Harry, I was in love with him. I wanted Harry to be the one to tilt my face towards him for a kiss. I wanted Harry to be the one that I was setting up with at three in the morning. He was sweet, kind, caring, sexy, and a genuinely good person. He was everything that I wanted to be, needed to be. That's why the heart break had been so strong for the last half of the week. That's why I had felt so miserable and terrible and like I couldn't go on. I cared about Harry much, much more than I had admitted to myself.

I never wanted to see Harry again because it would clearly shatter me to pieces that he didn't want me. He would probably find a girl that was good for him, someone who didn't  do bad things like me, someone who he could trust. The hurtful thoughts made my chest heave up and down.

"You alright?" Brandon asked.

"I need to leave." I said and stumbled to the door. I was still a little drunk but the realization that I loved Harry had sobered me up a lot.

Brandon didn't say a word as I exited through his front door and out into the night. I found myself in a trashy trailer park. What the hell was I thinking? I would much rather be at Jon and Christy's house right now but I'd ruined it. I had a feeling that the boat that I would get adopted and have a family had sailed the moment I snuck out. A few tears fell from my eyes, but I wiped them away and just continued walking down the unfamiliar street.

I kept walking until my legs were about to give up. I guessed maybe an hour or two had passed since I left Brandon's house because a glimmer of sun light was starting to peak through the dark clouds. All these streets were unfamiliar to me, but I didn't have anywhere in particular I was trying to go, just aimlessly walking.

As I rounded a corner, a black sports car came into view, one I had definitely seen before. It skidded to a stop at the edge of the road and Harry jumped out of the driver's side, running towards me in full speed. He looked beautiful, even with his hair going in every direction and his green eyes full of sleep.

"Sami!" Harry yelled, making my heart clench. "Sami, come here! We've been looking for you everywhere."

I ran because I didn't want to face him. I ran because I knew he would take me back to Christy and Jon's house. I ran because he would be able to smell the alcohol and know that I'd been drunk. I ran because I wouldn't be able to stay strong around him without giving in to my instincts and I would kiss him, making a fool of myself. I ran because I wasn't ready to see the how disappointed and angry Christy and Jon would be with me when Harry, like the good guy he is, takes me back to them.

I loved Harry so much that my chest hurt with the feeling but I couldn't go to him. In a perfect world, Harry would be my boyfriend and I would have a family. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to run away from him out of embarrassment and shame. I would be able to talk to him about anything and everything. We would be inseparable and he would tell me how much he loved me. But this wasn't a perfect world, and I was a good-for-nothing girl. Someone like Harry deserved someone much better than me, and he knew that too. That was clearly why he had rejected me.

"Sami, God damn it! Wait!" Harry shouted but I just ran faster.

((Thanks so much for reading. Please V O T E so I know if you liked this or not.))