Hell in my eyes!

Hell in my eyes! [Chapter 34: You can throw the rest away.]

Trisha’s POV

“You!” I told him. “And… Your home, your friends and your career.” I was repeating the list he’d recited last night and at first I saw him frown in confusion. But then I saw his eyes widen with comprehension.

“Trisha, I was-‘’ He started but I cut him off.

“You were right.” I nodded, desperately fighting to keep my voice level. “I want you to go home.”

Lucian blinked and just stared at me. “Wh-What?” He stammered.

“You should go back.” I told him. “I’m not stupid, Lucian. I know that models only have a shelf life of a few years and then they’re out. You shouldn’t be here with me while you could be going all over the world with photo shoots.”

“But…Trisha-‘’ He started but I cut him off again.

“Don’t.” I whispered, closing my eyes tight. “I want you to do this. I…I’d never really considered what you were giving up by being with me. And I’m so sorry for being so selfish. But I’m not going to let you sacrifice any more. You have to go back.” Lucian gazed into my eyes, as though waiting for me to change my mind. But it wasn’t going to change. This was the right thing to do. He has his carrier to follow, it’s his path, something he loves and wants to do.

“But…I want to be here with you.” He told me and I felt like I was about to burst out crying on the spot. I know he loves me, just as much as I do but he’s done more than enough for me. Now it’s my turn to do something for him. It’s for the best!

“I’m booking you the first ticket and I’m going to make sure you’re on it.” I told him.

He looked at me, as though he couldn’t believe that I was really saying this. But I was saying it. And I meant it. I did want him to go back so he wouldn’t be sacrificing anything for me. But at the same time…I just wanted to keep him with me forever. “It’s just…the way it is.” Lucian finally looked away from me and around the room. And then he got up from the bed and started moving around, throwing all of his things into his bag. I knew what he was doing, but that didn’t make it any easier to witness. Once Lucian’s bag was full, he turned to me and I felt my heart falter at the look in Lucian’s eyes.

“You can throw the rest away.” He said, motioning to the remaining clothes that he’d bought while he was here and I looked at him confused.

“What?” I asked.

“I don’t want them.” He said before walking out of the room. My face fell as I realized that he was leaving. He’s angry, I could see it in his icy eyes.

“Wait, where are you going?” I asked desperately. Sure, I wanted him to go back but not right now.

“The airport.” He said with a shrug. “I’ll find myself a flight and wait there.”

“Lucian, I…” I stammered, but I didn’t know what to say. “Just…stay here until you can get a flight.”

Lucian looked at me and then smiled humorlessly.

“No.” That was all he said before he turned away and walked out of my apartment.

I caught my breath as I realized what had just happened. Lucian had left. Sure, it’s what I wanted. But I didn’t want it to happen like this. I hadn’t meant to upset Lucian, all I wanted was for him to do what he loved, to work and go home. I quickly ran after him, ready to apologize and talk to him about everything. But as soon as I left the building, I watched as a black taxi pulled away from the curb, Lucian sitting in the back seat.

Standing helplessly at the door, I just turned and went back upstairs to went to ‘our’ apartment. I closed the door behind me and looked around my suddenly empty apartment. I went and sat on the small sofa and brought my knees up to my chin and let me tears finally fall. It’s all my damn fault! I shouldn’t have talked to him like that, I should have explained better.