Hell in my eyes!

Hell in my eyes! [Chapter 06: Drugs away from Street 16]

My thoughts zoomed through my head like flies, my breathing shallow and close to pants from panic. What the fuck was I going to do? If I took the drugs, I knew that I'd basically be giving myself a big slap in the face since I had struggled with a year of rehab just to get clean from all drugs aside cigarettes and alcohol...man, I can't give it all up! But if I didn't use them, what the hell was I gonna do with it all? That's when the idea popped in my head. It was plain-and-fucking-simple: Get rid of it. Of course, I had to find out how and where I'd get rid of it.

I decided that if I was going to find a place, I might as well start walking. I shoved the duffel bag deep inside my own bag from Lip's trailer and slung my guitar case back over my shoulder- you know the whole drill. Street 16 was starting to rot of moldy cheese and rotten eggs anyways, so I would've been a bit relieved if I wasn't stressing out so much. My breathing was now going into gasps. What if I get caught with this shit?! I can't screw myself over even more! I can't! Fuck! Fuck-fuck-fuck!I leaned against the wall and recollected enough composure to make it so that I didn't seem suspicious while walking. I mean, who knows what would happen if I didn't keep my damn mouth shut?

I speed through the alleyway as quickly as possible. I didn't have time to run in with some nosy ass punk, and I was pretty sure that most of them had already had an encounter with my brother, possibly even my ex-boyfriend. The footsteps I took progressed so fast that I nearly tripped over myself. The sounds of loud bangs and shouts pounded throughout my ear drums, and if I wasn't so focused on figuring out a conclusion to my current problem, I would have been maybe a bit nervous.

Eventually, I ended up on the nicer side of town, where people where much safer from all of the gangs and violence that I had witnessed and gotten into issues with. But these people had gained a reputation. A reputation where their noses where up in the air. A reputation where they thought they were on top of the fucking world and better than everyone else. Of course, they failed to realize that they had fallen into the greedy system of today's society. If I were to hold a knife to their neck, they'd take back any offense comment or gesture they had giving to people like me. You see, I knew for a fact that they feared us. We were the reason why they surrounded themselves with their shitty pop culture, and they were the reason why we all lived in chaos and hatred. But hey, who cares about 'em?

I ran through neighborhoods and past cars, with the addition of a few honks and loud rants being hollered at my direction until I stumbled upon a field. A field that contained a few oak trees and fresh, clean cut grass that bordered a small, soothing lake full of nice cold water. I was hot, tired, and sweaty not to mention, as I said before, panicked. So, dumb as I was, I ended up choosing that as my destination. If I went any further, I'd pass out. And if I passed out, someone might go through my bags, find the shit, and call the cops.

I sat down beneath one of the fattest oak trees in sight and pulled out a packet of Marlboros from my pocket. With my eyes closed, I placed one of the cigarettes left between my plump lips and light up the end of the stick, blowing outwards until I could smell the smoke begin to rise. The shade from the tree with a soft breeze that blew at a few strands of hair made me a bit more relaxed, and I opened my eyes just to watch the smoke that exhaled from my mouth rise up into the air, it really was a beautiful thing. Much more beautiful than that fat mother fucker who left me with a bunch of trouble.

"Good god..." I muttered. "Not another person!"