Hell in my eyes!

Hell in my eyes! [Chapter 13: Fire]

I was back at the grass area. I planned on making it my new home since it didn’t have as many people around as other places. I removed my clothes and pulled out my black nightgown.  I stripped down and let my hair loose, the cool air soothing my naked body as I pulled on the soft material that flowed loosely down my body. Just the way I liked it at the moment. I laid down. It was cold, but I appreciated it now compared to the heat of days before. I allowed myself to rest, Alex dwelling in my dreams.

I woke up the next morning with a terrible headache. I was dizzy and I still felt sleepy. I opened my eyes. I couldn’t just remain resting when I was vulnerable to psychopaths out in California. I sat up and sighed. If anything, a cigarette would help. I dug through my bag until I found my pack of ‘Black Devil’. Within the flash of a light, I pulled out one of the cigarettes and pressed it between my lips, still plump with red lipstick from the previous day. I light up my black big lighter, mumbling the first few times when the damn thing failed to give me a flame. But when it did, I heated up the end of my happiness and took in a long drag of smoke. My index and middle finger let it rest between my skin as I exhaled, smoke flowing from my mouth and into the sky. I could never quit these things. No way.

I put my elbows on top of my knees once they hugged my chest, my forearms facing upwards with my pale complexion.

I stared at the blue veins that ran up my arms, cocking my head slightly at the intriguing designs it made with its detail and grace. Just like the poster walls up in Alex’s bedroom…Ramones, Sex Pistols and all of that other mainstream bullshit was spewed up on there with other underground bands. Then I remember how I accidentally burned the mattress. A small smile grew on my lips at the memory, but was quickly shattered with a sigh. My eyes returned to my forearm, a thought bursting in my head.

I could make myself the room… I kept concentration at my forearm. The only thing I could hear was my shallow breaths as the orange glow neared towards my skin. Without a thought of how it would feel, or what the consequences could be, I jabbed the fucker into my arm and cringed.

Because of this, my hand jerked and the burn became two, being led by a path of thin, pink skin. The pain was unbelievable, but it had only lasted a few long seconds until I had adjusted. In a way, it was kind of like losing your virginity. It’s not that great at first, and it hurts. But you get used to it after a few more times, and you enjoy it. As my thoughts become more understandable, I smiled.

“Just like how a fire spreads. Just like it.”