Hell in my eyes!

Hell in my eyes! [Chapter 38: The three words you never told me.]

Trisha’s POV

The next two weeks felt like torture. I’d booked a flight as soon as I got home after talking to Mr. Flask and now I just had to get my final projects and fashion show out of the way. They passed by surprisingly quickly. I was glad that I’d worked hard up until the fashion show and so didn’t need to do much work in those final weeks, because I just wasn’t in the mood for working. All I could think about was going to see Lucian and talk to him properly. And I wouldn’t leave until he agreed to listen and understood what I had been saying. I knew I would be able to make him understand. I had to.

“Hey…” A cautious voice said from behind me and I sighed.

I already knew who it was before I turned around.

“Hi.” I said, looking up at Alex from my seat in the library. I turned back to my sketchpad instantly, but Alex didn’t leave. Instead, he sat down in the chair opposite.

“I…I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” He said softly and my gaze snapped up to meet his.

“Really?” I asked sarcastically and I started to pack up my books about models and fashion shows. “About what? About the fact that you went behind my back and tried to make me break up with my boyfriend? About how you can’t get it in your thick head that I don’t like you anymore?”

I stood quickly and Alex stood as well and I knew he would follow me even if I walked away from him.

“Yeah.” He said, ignoring the sarcasm I had been using. “I just…I wanted to apologize. I didn’t…I never wanted to hurt you. You’re my best friend.”

“Yeah, well, you’re a shit best friend.” I said as I turned away from him and headed out of the library before we would be told off for being too loud.

“I know Trisha, and I’m really sorry.” He said again and I sighed.

“Please leave me alone, Alex.” I said, turning to look at him properly. “I just…I can’t deal with you right now.” Alex took a small step backwards and nodded, as though he was trying to show me that he could be trusted again.

“I know I screwed up.” He said hesitantly. “But…I want you to give me a second chance.”

“Why should I?” I asked him, even though I already knew my answer. And I think he knew it, too.

“Because I really do care about you…” He said. “As a friend.” And that’s when I started talking seriously. And by talking I mean kind of yelling.

‘’You know what? When we were together in the past I loved you but I couldn’t let myself believe it because I thought if I told you that then it would be game over with us. I don’t know if you truly loved me or you just thought of me as a sister or something but yeah I was in love with you. I started going out with Lucian because of you.’’ I stated and his eyes widened.

‘’And I’m not lying. At the beggining I was scared to see you again thinking you would still be with Aaron but then I thought why don’t I show him that I’m better off alone? And Lucian was the best choice I made ever. He changed me to the person I am now. It started with a one night stand and now he is my whole world. And ever after what happened I’m sure he still loves me so do me a favor and back off!’’ He was speechless and I was thankful for that but I didn’t stop. I took a deep breat and kept talking.

‘’I’m thankful for helping me get away from my brother and taking me to live with you when we actually were something but you also hurt me when you left me and then you came back but you were with Aaron. So now, just leave me do whatever the hell I want with the man I truly love.’’

‘’Um…’’ He started. ‘’I don’t know what to say.’’

“I’m going to New York once my fashion show is over.” I told him and his eyes widened.

“Are you…Are you coming back?” He asked and I paused for a second.

“I don’t know.” I admitted. “I hope not.” Alex frowned in confusion and I found myself telling him what had happened between Lucian and me. I didn’t go into much detail, just gave him the gist.

“So… You’re going to New York just to talk to him?” He asked and I nodded. “You really love him, don’t you?” He whispered and I sighed impatiently.

“Yes, Alex. I love him and I’m going to do whatever I can to be with him.” I said.

Alex looked at me for a second and then nodded.“Alright…” He said softly. “Good luck.’’

“Thank you.” I smiled weakly. Alex just nodded.

‘’I truly loved you. I was always waiting for the three words you never told me.” He stated before he kissed my cheek. Then he whispered to my ear ‘’I love you.’’ before turning and walking away.

I felt kind of bad about how I’d left things with him, but not too bad when I remembered that he’d wanted to ruin mine and Lucian’s relationship. I just…I didn’t feel anything towards Alex anymore. I didn’t like him and I didn’t hate him, he was just like a stranger to me now. And that was probably for the best. That’s how it was supposed to be from the start but I’m thankful towards him for taking away my nightmares when I couldn’t and for breaking up with me because otherwise I wouldn’t have been with Lucian at all.