Dirty Secret

twenty one.

One hundred and twenty - that's how many hours have passed since Justin decided that without an explanation or some sort of valid reason he was going to start ignoring all of my texts, only simply smiling at me when he walked through the kitchen with Sammy, both of them deep in conversation before disappearing into the garden, pretending that it wasn't little over a week ago that we were laid in his bed after he took my virginity from me, much to my consent of course. But, that doesn't change the fact that now he suddenly doesn't want anything to do with me.

How does somebody go from telling you that if you were with them, you would never be bored, to looking at their phone, reading your text message then not replying as though they suddenly have lost their fingers or hands in some sort of tragic accident, leaving it impossible to reply - or even pick up the phone and give me a run down on why I am apparently not as important anymore seeing as though my innocence is long gone.

"Maybe he is just like the other guys." Amber has told me countless times over the past the week; "Maybe, you shouldn't have let him fuck you just because he is older and you clearly get a thrill out of sneaking around with him, but maybe he's bored of you now." she seems to have imprinted it in my mind that all men are the same, no matter if they try to convince you otherwise.

And now, I don't have the slightest idea of whether or not there is going to be a wedding at some point in the year. One that deep down I hope gets called off, even though Samantha has some how managed to drag myself and Jacinta bridesmaid dress shopping, allowing Kyle to tag along, forcing us to try on numerous amounts of dresses in countless different stores, it more of a task or chore than a shopping trip.

-

"Oh, goodie - he's finally decided to pry himself from the gym and take part in such a special trip." Samantha rolled her eyes, glancing at the glass panel door at the black range rover that had pulled up outside; "Luckily for him, we have a ton of stores left to check out so he hasn't missed out on the entire day." she seemed to have taken a disturbing enjoyment in making Jacinta and myself fester in the company of one another, as if she is oblivious to the fact we truly cannot stand each other.

Kyle sat up from the little pink chair he was sitting on, his face dropping into a frown at the sight of Justin pushing open the door with a matching frown upon his face - the plain white t-shirt he was wearing clung to his biceps, his tattoos and tan contrasting perfectly with the simplicity of it, teamed with gray sweatpants and white crisp vans, his lack of effort appealing to me - especially with how he hadn't bothered to do his hair, leaving it un-styled and fluffy, causing my knees to weaken.

"Sup' baby." he mumbled, pulling Sammy into his arms, the smell of his aftershave overpowering the room yet it remained some what subtle; "Are you really shopping for bridesmaid dresses already?" he looked around the boutique as he let his arms fall to his side, raising his eyebrows at Jacinta before hugging her quickly, barely even acknowledging my existence.

Samantha beamed; "Well, you're the one who bought up the topic of setting a date the other night so, I thought why not see what offers there is." and my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach.

"Yeah, but.. that doesn't mean we're getting married this year babe." he laughed awkwardly, standing beside her, refusing to even as little as glance towards me; "Whatever though, I guess it beats sitting in the office all day pretending to be busy, right?" he forced a smile, and I knew it was forced because his eyes didn't glisten the way they do when he is truly smiling.

Kyle stared at him, the frown yet to leave his face as Justin nodded in his direction in a hello sort of sense, before sitting down on a circular white seat type podium in the center of the room.

"Baby, what do you think about these dresses?" she asked for his opinion on the satin lilac dresses she had forced us into against our will; "Obviously they'll be fitted properly, and maybe a shade darker.. but, give me your opinion."