I love having a little sister, but at the same time, it... sometimes it just really sucks having a little sibling.
I feel like shit. I'm worrying to death about my mother who is really far away from me right now. I'm sick to my stomach simply because she's not here and she won't be here for another 4 sleeps. I want to scream because holding down the fort is really stressful.
I want to blow off steam.
I would LOVE to rap and dance until 3AM. That's all I want to do. I want to turn up the volume and dance my heart out.
But I can't.Because that 4 year old sister of mine has to go to sleep...
Naw I had to turn it off and sit in silence, left alone to rot in my thoughts.
I can't use earbuds because I'll only have one in (to listen out for responsibilitie) and hearing music in only one ear is just.. no. I don't get the same feel. And the cord is always in the way, even bluetooth.
It's not like I have someone to call and distract myself with. I have nobody. None of my other stupid fucking coping skills are helping.
I just want to dance. I'm about to cry oh my fuck.
UGH.
Fucking fuck fuck fuck