You are not alone

Jace

Jace's P.O.V.

I was not ready. I knew I needed to, and I wanted to, but something about the closet made the doors so far away, and locked. The nerves were overwhelming, and yet the pride was empowering.

I had been in the closet for too long, and it was a terrible feeling, feeling like you need to be hidden, feeling like you can't be yourself. I didn't like the closet, it's not meant for people to live in.

I was very fidgety, as my nerves overtook my body. I tried not to think about it, even though I had ran many situations through my head before. None of them however, ended well for me. I couldn't even imagine a situation where my dad supported me. I was ready to be myself, I was ready to come out, but not as gay, as myself.

I walked to my dad, taking my time because I knew there was no going back after this. I took a deep breath, despite how tight my chest was, I prepared myself for what was about to happen.

"Dad? I need to say something to you."

"What son?" He asked, as he sat in the living room chair, with a beer in his hand.

"Are you sober? At least somewhat?"

"Yes, this is only my second one."

"Ok, I'll take it."

"What Jace? Football is on tv."

"I'm going to need your full attention." I said, as I picked up the remote and turned the tv off.

"Boy!"my dad started. "You do not touch anything of mine!"

"I just need to talk to you."

"Make it quick, boy."

"Dad." I started, and took a deep breath. "I'm gay."

"What?"

"I'm gay."

"No son you're not."

"Yes dad I am."

My dad stood up from his chair, and stepped towards me. As he did, I jumped a little. "what?"

"I'm gay." I said, one more time, and I barely finished before his hand made contact with my face. "Did you just hit me?" I asked, holding the side of my face.

"You can't tell? Maybe I should have done it harder. You need some sense knocked into you."

"What does that even mean?"

"You can not be gay, you aren't a man if you don't like girls."

"Yes I am."

"You aren't gay, I raised you different."

"You can't raise me to be gay or straight."

"I can make you be straight though."

"No you can't! I'm gay!" I yelled. "And there's nothing you can do about it."

"You just need some pushing and you'll get there." He stepped towards me and knocked me to the ground. As I fell, I hit the side of my face on a chair leg.

"Oww."

"You feel that? Think of that the next time you think you're going to be gay."

I stood up, and looked him right in the face. "I'm gay." I said tauntingly.

"Get out, or I'll throw you out!" He threatened.

"I dare you." I provoked.

When I finished, he grabbed the sleeve of my shirt, and walked me to the door. He opened the door, and walked me out to the end of the front porch. With one swift motion, he threw me off the porch and onto the front sidewalk.

"Never come back, even when you do realize you aren't gay, I don't want to see you again."

"Ok, I'll just live on the streets, me and my gayness."

"Get off my property." My dad said, as he walked back inside, and locked the door.

I got up off the ground, and stared at the house. It wasn't a nice house, but it worked. I was so angry at him, not that I expected anything else. I took one last look until I stepped back a little from the house.

"I'm out of the closet! Closets are for clothes, not people!" I yelled towards my old house, but for everyone to hear.

I started walking down the walkway, until I noticed something wet on the right side of my face. I stopped, and ran my hand down the side of my face. As I pulled my hand in front of me, I saw a bright red liquid all over it. My face was bleeding. I ignored it until morning, and kept walking, even though it hurt. It hurt physically, but then I realized it also hurt emotionally. I walked, alone in the dark and with no where to go, and for once everything was for me to decide.