Stay with me

Ch.26

Tris p.o.v:

When we came back from the clinic not too long ago, I walked to the bedroom while Tobias fixed something for lunch.  I laid on the bed still shocked by what happened.  I didn't notice I started to cry until I felt my pillow was wet.  It must be from the shocking news.

I heard Tobias walk into the bedroom.  I tried to wipe away my tears before he could see them.

He sat down next to me on the bed runs circles on my back to comfort me.  "It's okay Tris."  He must know I've been crying. "Come on lunch is ready." 

I grabbed my crutches and walked out with Tobias to the kitchen.  We ate lunch in silence.  We are both in our own little worlds trying to process what we just experienced at the clinic.  Tobias picks our things up and throws them away in the trash and walks out of the kitchen.  I sit there for a after Tobias had left then I decided walk out of the kitchen.

I find Tobias laying on the bed.  He has the television running on some tv show, but I can tell he's not paying any attention to it.  I walk over to the bed and lay down next to him. 

I would talk to him, but I just need to collect my thoughts together.  I'm sure that's what Tobias is doing.  Possibly.  He's so confusing at times. 

I wish he would tell me what's going on in his head.  Did he even want me to agree to the procedure?  I mean he doesn't seem like it.  Is he?  Maybe the news is shocking to him to? 

I look over at him and try to read his face.  His eyes are looking at the ceiling somewhere. 

I don't see anything.  Usually I can figure him out pretty well, but even now I still can't figure him out a lot of times.  His problem is he doesn't let people in.  Even though he let me in, there are times where he shuts down on me.

I look away from him before he notices I've been staring at him. 

Is Tobias happy for me?  God, I made this choice for us.  For me.  Ugh.  We'll have to talk soon,  but just not now cause I don't feel like it.

"You're nerves are messed up." 

Emily's words come back to me in my head from the appointment and I instantly feel overwhelmed with emotions.  Tears started to go down my cheeks. 

I can't believe how my life has gone so downhill.  I swear if there wasn't a war then Tobias and I would've had a better life together in Dauntless.  If there was no war, I wouldn't have gotten shot and put into a coma.  I wouldn't have this problem of being able to walk.  My nerves wouldn't be messed up and I wouldn't be forced into doing the only choice I have to be better again.

I hate this! Ugh.

The only thing in my life that's good is Tobias. 

I know this was my only choice but I don't understand how my life got so bad. 

I don't even know if it's going to work.  I knew something was going to happen last night.

All this time my nerves have been messed up and after three weeks of feeling helpless they find out they really can't do anything. 

There's only one option. 

I know I should be happy and excited that I'm going to get better, but honestly I don't feel anything.  All I do is lay there and stare at the ceiling and feeling nothing.
~~~~~~~

We do absolutely nothing all day long.  Tobias may get up to take a shower, maybe go to the bathroom once in a while, or get a drink.  But otherwise, Tobias has been on the other side of the bed with me all day.  We haven't really talked to each other since coming back from the appointment.  

I'm totally okay with us not talking because I need to sort out everything that has happened.  God my life sucks. 

I didn't notice Tobias hovering over me because I was in deep thought. 

"Tris come on.  You have to eat."  Tobias says to me while shaking my body to get my attention.

I lose track of my train of thought and look up to see Tobias looking down at me.  "Uh?  What?"  I ask confused.

"Tris I'm been trying to get your attention for the last fifteen minutes and nothing seems to have worked.  What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  I was just was just thinking."

Tobias nods in understanding.  "Come on.  Foods ready."  

"Okay."  We eat in silence again.  It was like lunch again, except now I feel like Tobias is just mad at me.  Before I thought he was just trying to give me space but now I don't know.  Either way,  it gives me more time to think.
~~~~~~

We are back on the bed in our own worlds.  After dinner, I went to the room while Tobias cleaned up everything.  When Tobias came back in the room, I didn't say anything.  I decided to watch some tv and I decided to watch the Disney junior. I didn't really care what channel I put on because I wasn't paying attention to half of it. I fell asleep half way through the third show I was watching. 

Tobias p.o.v:
Tris fell asleep.  She has had a rough day.  I know I should've been talking and trying to comfort her more than I have been today.

I wanted to be there for her today after that appointment but I felt that she needed her space to sort things through.  Even after I saw her read eyes from crying I wanted to comfort her, but I wanted to give her space. I know it's stupid.

I know she thinks that I'm not noticing anything, but in truth, I have noticed everything that has happened today.

But there's another reason why I haven't been giving her the comfort she needs. It was because I needed to digest what Emily said at the appointment. 

I'm really happy that Tris said yes to this option because now we can continue with our lives.  Tris won't be so down with herself and most importantly she will have what she wants. 

She will be able to walk again.

Things are turning out for the better, I guess. 

I look over at Tris who is fast asleep.  I run my fingers through her hair.  I only want is best for her.  For my Tris.  If she wants this I'll support her no matter what.  I press my lips to her hairline and I decided to go to sleep myself.

A/N: Sorry for not updating in awhile. I have had a big writers block.

I decided to make this to make this chapter in to a filler chapter so you can see what Tris and Tobias are thinking and feeling.