Stay with me

Ch. 35

Tris p.o.v:
Four days have gone by with Tobias spending as much time as he can with Chris so everyone can believe that he has gotten over me. I've been mostly alone at the apartment. Tobias had either Emily or Valerie "babysit" me. He doesn't want to take the chance of me being alone while I'm still recovering.

I still haven't forgiven Christiana for what she told Peter. When ever Tobias got home I would be sleeping. I haven't seen him much lately and it is really starting to irritate me.

I don't think he knows how much this has been bugging me. He would've at least tried to comfort me. I am really starting to wonder what goes on with those two when they are public.

Does he still love me? Is he starting to realize that he loves Christiana more than me? Is it because I'm taking too long to heal? He said he would be with me the entire way. He's not even here when I need him the most. I start to cry and soon my cheeks are wet from crying.
~~~~~

I hear the door open but I don't pay attention to it.  Thinking it's Valerie I got annoyed because I told her I wanted to be left alone.

"Valerie I told you I want to be left alone.  So can you please go?"

I hear footsteps thinking she's coming over but then I notice the footsteps are too loud to be Valerie's.  I feel the bed dip and feel arms go around me.  I turn to look who's it is and was surprised to see Tobias.

"Tobias?"  I ask with shock.  He's actually here. 

"Hey Tris."  He gives me a smile but when I look into his eyes it is a different sight.  Guilt.  Love. Concern.  Sadness. 

"What's wrong?"

Tobias gets on the bed and pulls me into his chest.  I look up at him and I can see he's struggles to tell me.  I reach up and place my hand in his cheek.

"Tobias what is it? You can tell me."

"God I thought you would be mad at me for not there for you."  Tobias attempts at a smile but his eyes say something different.

"Please Tobias just tell me."

He looks down and after a couple f minutes he lifts his head up so he can look into my eyes.

"Remember this morning when I said that I hate fake dating Christiana?"

"Yeah."  I sat unsure because I don't know where this is going.

"I hate this because it feels like I'm cheating on you and I would never do that because I can't see you in pain.  It feels like I'm a bad boyfriend to you because I broke my promise to you.  I was supposed to there for you.  I haven't been these past four days. 

"I feel terrible.  I know you are sad but you just want to admit it.  I am getting frustrated because it feels like our relationship is falling apart.  I don't want that to happen Tris.  I want us."   Tobias emphasizes on the word us. 

I am left speechless by all he's saying to me.  Even though I know he isn't done I speak up.  "Tobias-"  I didn't get to finish my sentence because Tobias continues to speak.

"Wait Tris, I'm not done.  Today I got so frustrated at Christiana.  I yelled at her in our living room blaming her for everything.  Then when we were waking to the cafeteria we had a another argument.  Then she talks how people are never gonna believe us that we love each other, if we continue to do what we are doing.