Stay with me

Ch. 11 part 4

Tris p.o.v:
"You're not gonna to it. I am." Caleb took his wrist away from my grip. He looked into my eyes with complete horror.

"No Beatrice, I need to do this. You need to stay here for Tobias."

"Caleb, even though I have forgiven you for sending me to my execution, I can't let you do this. It'll be like sending you to your own execution. And I can't do that to you. Your my only family left."

I start to tear up. I can't take it anymore so I have to look away from his eyes. I know he's still looking directly at me.

I can't let him do this not after all the betrayal; the feeling of losing my brother when in fact he is still alive; getting over being sad and being consumed by anger towards him; finally giving myself a chance to forgive him.

"Tris, I know you feel like you to protect me. But, Tris I can do this. You and Tobias taught me what you know about being Dauntless. I can protect myself."

I look back at him still with tears coming down my cheeks. We looked back at each other. Siblings deciding on who's gonna go their death to save the city and leave their loved ones behind.

I noticed Caleb's eyes read determination to destroy the memory serum so his city he grew up in could be safe along with everything and everyone he loves. I also saw love. Caleb must be doing this out of love. Does Caleb have a crush on someone in city? Is he doing it because mom loved Chicago? Wait, does Caleb still care about me?

I didn't get a chance to figure the answers to my newfound questions, since Caleb interrupted my thinking process. "Tris there are people in your life who loves you. Tobias, Christiana, Zeke, Uriah, and Matthew. You see, you have all of those people who will miss you but for I won't be missed by no one. The person who worked for Jeanine, who was killing divergents. No." He closed his eyes for a minute and I used this time to regain my thoughts. Throughout the time Caleb has been speaking, more tears has been coming done my face. I have been wiping it off but more tears replace their place.

Caleb still hasn't regained his composure. He is wrong about one thing he has said so far, I will him if he's dead. Even though Tobias has been there for me more than Caleb has been, Caleb is related to me by blood. Although I'll always consider Tobias as family.
He finally opens his eyes with an pleading expression. "Tris, think if you did take my place to destroy the memory serum? Then say what If you succeeded, but you didn't make it out alive? How do you Tobias would react on seeing you dead when returning from Chicago? Tris please, all I'm asking you is stay alive. You fought through an entire war. Let me finish this for you and then you can life you wanted with boyfriend. Tobias. Don't you want that? I'm doing this being I see how happy you are with him. If you're happy then I'm happy because your my sister and I love you."

Caleb still loves me. But I still can't let him do this. "Caleb, it's tempting. The way your telling it to me. To go as the plan, as you destroying the memory serum. Tobias and I finally living a peaceful relationship. But I can't Caleb. That would be selfishness. Plus, mom and dad would be ashamed of me."

He doesn't seem have anything else to say to me. I push him out of my way. When I'm about to pass him, I lean in close to Caleb's ear I whisper,"If I die in there, tell Tobias I never wanted to leave him. And I love him."
~~~~

I grab the backpack from Caleb, then I walked pass him and around the corner to where it leads to the weapons vault's entrance.
I forgot to check if no one was there, since my last time was a little while ago. Since Caleb and I had been talking for a while now. No one has replaced the guards I shot. I go towards the door but I have my guard up twice as much as I normally do.
Matthew said we need to blow up the door one more time, since Nita attempted to get into the weapons vault. Before I stopped her, that is, and I found out Tobias was working with her.