The Librarian (Bellarke Edition)

Chapter 33

Clarke paced the spare bedroom, anger causing her blood to simmer and her adrenaline to rush through her veins. She didn't know if she wanted to kiss Bellamy or hit him. That dilemma alone was pissing her off and just adding to the mess that the past few weeks had become. It hurt to pace the room at the rate she was, but if she sat down for two seconds and gave her self that extra second to relax she was afraid she would break down in tears. He was stubborn and he infuriated her. The whole thing was overwhelming, like a whirlwind. She heard the door open, she took a deep breath preparing for what was to come, the slam that followed made her jump. Before she could even turn to look at him his voice echoed through the room.

"What the hell were you thinking? Let's just venture around town alone, let everyone know you are here, alone, get the shit kicked out of you and Murphy, sign yourself out of the hospital and parade into Nyko's warehouse like your a god damn idiot, walking up to me, interrupting me from getting even with Emerson. I could see you were in pain, you may have fooled them, but not me." he yelled. She stood there silently, faced away from him, letting him get it all out, her eyes glued to the wall in front of her. She heard him take a breath and turned to cut in before he could start again.

"Your one to talk, let's play the knight, save the damsel in distress, when she bluntly told you to stay out of it, I am none of your concern. Then you fly down here acting like you are a bad ass, come see me for fifteen minutes then shut me out and leave. What was the point of coming if you didn't want to stay with me. You go and try to prove a point to Nyko's crew, for what? Your not in the business anymore, whats the point? What was I interrupting? You killing Emerson? because that's what would have happened if no one stopped you. And don't say the point of all this is me, because you ignored me the whole fucking way home!" She stood unwavering and met him eye for eye. Her head pounded and she felt short winded, but she was not going to let him see that, she refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing she was in pain. Her eyes met his the fire raged in his, just like hers. They were scared, and emotional, the only way to release that tension was through the anger their adrenaline was fueling.

"It was you, to keep you safe, I don't want to get back home and have to worry that some asshole is going to try and make a point to come pay you a visit. And your right, I did ignore you, you piss me off, you make stupid, reckless, decisions, I'm trying to protect you and you are off doing who knows what, you will end up being the doing of your own demise. You gravitate towards trouble." He scolded. She winced at the accusation.

"And you are so perfect right? Bellamy the Rebel King, does whatever the hell he wants whenever he wants, there are no rules, only chaos, you think you are invincible, you are not invincible, sticking your neck out for others, like me, is going to get you killed, so before you tell me I'm reckless and make stupid decisions I suggest you take a moment to reflect on your own actions before you take the time to yell at me." she replied loudly.

"I am the reckless one? I saved you Clarke, they were going to kill you, then you parade around town alone, Emerson left you on the floor, beaten so bad you could have been dead. Then you sign yourself out of the hospital to make a guest appearance in front of all of them, that's a challenge, they knocked you down and you stood back up, the next time they come around it will be worse, you wont get back up. I was preventing the next time from ever happening."

"I didn't, I don't need protection Bellamy, I got it covered" She stated loudly.

"Are you referring to you defending yourself or Murphy defending you, because from where I am standing neither option worked in your favor" he shot back at her.

"I'm still here today so I can't be doing to awful" she replied. She watched him shift his weight towards her. He ran a hand over his face before he lashed out at her.

"Ever since I met you, you have been running Clarke, you have been beat up on a normal basis, you put me in a position where I needed to re-visit a part of my life that I said I'd never go back to, You left a letter for me, practically saying goodbye, then we get over that obstacle and you pack up and leave. Head right for here, where what happens, you attract more trouble, I flew down here without even thinking about it. I get here, you look like someone tried to kill you and then I find out that is exactly what happened. I try to handle the problem and your off doing the next stupid thing" He took a second to gather thoughts, a small sniffle brought his eyes to hers. Tears streamed down her face, he went from being angry at her, to being angry at himself. He got carried away. She couldn't control her situation and he knew that. He let his anger run away with him. He went to reach out to her when he heard her voice.

"I'm so sorry for everything" she whispered, her voice was barely audible. She paused to clear her throat. Her voice louder this time.

"I'm sorry I am an inconvenience in your life, I told you to stay out of it, you wouldn't listen, I can't change what happened and I'm sorry you got dragged along. So here's your chance, there's the door. Just go home Bellamy." Her eyes met his, she watched him shake his head, like he was just disappointed in her, then turned towards the door. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to stop the tears she knew were coming.