The Librarian (Bellarke Edition)

Chapter 25

Bellamy sat next to Octavia on the couch, glancing from his beer to the television.

"Okay, so are you going to talk about it or just sulk in silence?" Octavia asked looking at him. He sat up more letting a sigh out and leaned over resting his elbows on his knees before meeting her gaze.

"I don't know how to fix this, I don't even know what I did wrong. She was sleeping and I could hear her screaming my name, so I woke her up, once she realized she was okay she started sobbing, as soon as I told her I wouldn't let anyone hurt her, she kicked me out. Completely shut down and pushed me away." He took a long swig of his beer.

"Bell, I'm sure all of this is hard on her, I know Murphy said she was beyond mad at him because he told you what was going on with her. She was mad you were involved, mad that you could be in danger, mad that if anything happened to you, it would be her fault."

"I don't care how mad she was, I wasn't letting them kill her, I couldn't live with that, I knew I could help her" he replied quickly.

"Maybe she doesn't know how to handle that, she looks after herself and her friends, someone doing that for her is new to her." Octavia replied.

"Or maybe I'm wasting my time, maybe she doesn't want that at all, Maybe she feels my past life is still part of me, you think that could be it?" he asked running a hand over his face.

"I don't think that is it Bell, If she didn't want you around she would tell you, you need to give her time to work through this" Octavia said quietly. He nodded before meeting her eyes.

"There has never been anyone like her Octavia, I can't lose her" he stated, emotion evident in his voice. She blinked back her own tears, his heart was breaking and she couldn't help him.

"I don't think that should even be a worry Bell, she isn't going anywhere" Octavia replied comfortingly.

"I hope you are right" he replied laying back on the couch. Octavia watched him drift off to sleep, she was wide awake now. She played on her phone for awhile, finished watching the movie that was on the television.

"I suppose I should start my day" she mumbled to herself stretching. She stood, walking to the kitchen and starting coffee before heading to the bathroom to grab her robe. The sun was just coming up. She paused to take in the view from her sliding glass windows. A soft knock sounded on her door startling her.

She hurried over unlocking the door and opening it to reveal Clarke standing there, shifting her weight nervously.

"Clarke? are you okay?" Octavia asked pulling her into a hug.

"I'm fine O, I promise, I need to take a trip, I'll be gone two weeks, I leave in two hours and I come back the thirtieth" she replied. Octavia took a step back, noticing now that she had on Bellamy's sweatshirt and her backpack, airline tickets sticking out of the one pocket. She then stepped to the side motioning to Bellamy asleep on the couch, coffee table littered with bottles in front of him.

"You planning on telling him?" she asked, her tone slightly accusing.

"Yea" Clarke replied nodding.

"Good, put your bag down, I'll pour you some coffee, we can sit on the balcony for a few minutes, I'll call you a cab for say an hour from now?" Octavia asked.

"That would be great thanks" Clarke replied giving her a smile.

They took their steaming mugs of coffee outside and slid the door closed behind them. They sat in silence enjoying each others company and overlooking the city.

"Where are you going?" Octavia broke the silence.

"Texas, I have some loose ends that need to be tied up before I can get on with my life, I left my friends behind without so much as a phone call or a letter, I just disappeared." Clarke replied. Octavia nodded.

"Bellamy thinks you are pushing him away" she stated. Clarke's eyes shot to Octavia,

"O, I'm not, I just have stuff I have to work through on my own, I'd never try to hurt him, I just need him to be patient, I hate this, all of this" she replied, her eyes tearing up.

"I know, which is why I know you have to go handle your stuff, he may act mad or upset, but I assure you he cares for you and he will understand, maybe not right now, but eventually" Octavia replied. Clarke just nodded trying to regain control of her emotions when the sliding door opened. Before she could turn to see who it was her airline ticket was dropped on the table in front of her.

"Your leaving?" Bellamy asked, his voice quieter then she expected.

Octavia stood, excusing herself, she entered the apartment and slid the door closed behind her. Bellamy moved her vacant chair in front of Clarke before sitting in it.

"I am, for two weeks, I have some stuff I need to take care of. I'll be back. Just tying up some loose ends." She replied.

"Clarke, please, I feel like you are trying to distance yourself from me" he stated. Her eyes met his and her hand found his, intertwining their fingers. He brought her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles.

"Bell, If I thought I needed distance you would know, I just need some time." she replied searching his eyes for understanding, all she could see is that he was hurt. Knowing that he was hurting, and it was because of her was not making this easy. She saw the cab pull up underneath them.

"That's my ride" she said standing. She lifted the airline ticket off the table with her free hand. He stood next to her, letting go of her hand and wrapping her in his arms. She laid her head on his chest, his chin resting on her head. A slight tap on the glass door got their attention, Octavia stood tapping her watch, letting Clarke know it was time. Clarke gave her a thumbs up before standing on her tip toes and placing a kiss on his cheek.

"See you in two weeks" she smiled pulling out of his grasp.

"Two weeks, is going to feel like forever" he stated pulling her back to him. His lips met hers, when he stepped back he left her breathless and on fire. He could see the blush tint her cheeks.

"Goodbye Bellamy" she said quietly, a slight smile crossing her lips.

"Safe Travels Princess" he replied smiling before turning to look out over the city.

She entered the house saying goodbye to Octavia.

"Give these to Bellamy" she said handing Octavia her keys before heading downstairs.

She headed out the door, she could feel Bellamy's eyes on her. The internal battle of whether to look at him or not was tearing her apart. She threw her bag in the cab and slid in, she couldn't do it. The second her eyes met his she would turn around and blow Texas off. She needed this whether she liked it or not. She took a deep breath reassuring herself this was the right decision before she shut the door and the cab started off down the street towards the airport.