Imaginary light (a Josh Ramsay fan fiction) -Done with this part of chapters-

I can't live without you

Josh's POV

I walked upstairs to Amy to tell her the real deal. I am not going out with Lights until I sort my marriage and hopefully everything goes smooth. I walked into the bedroom. 

"Amy I need to tell you something." 

She looked at me with her blue eyes.

"What is it?"

"I was seeing Lights before you came back. But I am willing to sort our marriage out with you."

"I knew that cause she saw you the night of the wire in your throat but yeah lets sort it out."

"Thank you...."

"We can talk about it in the morning if you want to."

"Yeah I would love to." 

I smiled and layed down in bed.

"I'll watch her Josh you get some sleep."

"Just keep the monitor on."

I set it on my bedside table and fell asleep cuddling with Amy. Maybe we can fix what was broken. I'm sounding too much like Meredith at this point. I blame being stuck in the hospital not able to talk. But Lights was never up to see me? Maybe when I was asleep that's all I'm thinking what she did. Then I heard Veronica crying and Amy getting up so like I am I got up and I saw her rocking her in her arms singing a lullaby.

"How do you sleep at night if you can never turn off your light? How can you dream if you're a star?" 

Veronica fell asleep again and I smiled at Amy. 

"Cute lullaby its amazing."

"Thank you babe..."

She set Veronica down in her crib and kissed my cheek.

"You still tired or you wanna talk?"

"May we talk please?'

"Yes ask me anything Josh."

"How did you come back as an angel?"

"Well when I died I went to someone to make me come back to you. It took a while but I'm here now." 

"That's cool now ask me anything you want."

"Did you have sex with Lights?"

"Nope."

We never did if you think that I'm lying. 

"Then this will make things a lot easier on both of us....do you still love me and if you don't then what's the point in trying?"

"Yes I still love you I always will love you. Amy you and Veronica are everything and I can't survive without you! You died in my arms and I will never forget that ever!"

"I didn't mean to die in your arms my heart couldn't take it Josh!" 

"Look I got over you but then you come back alive when I was near death! You don't know how much that messed me up!"

"Then tell me how much it messed you up."

"I had to go to therapy which I still have to go to. And in the water I wasn't fighting I was thinking god please let this kill me cause I can't live without you. I can't live without you!"