Broken ~{Book Two}~ Daryl Dixon ZA

Thoughts And Daydreams

As she unfurled the paper she found written in neat, joined up, old fashioned style the words "meet me at the church between here and The Sanctuary in two days time at nightfall, I'll be there, come alone, I have to see you."

Tina instantly screwed the paper up and went to toss it in the bin before stopping herself when she realised it couldnt be hidden so well, seeing as their bin was never filled with paper, taking a lighter from her pocket she stood on the porch and lit it, watching as the paper quickly became nothing but embers and blew across Alexandria. She was not taking Negan up on his offer, what she had was a mere crush, she had no feelings to go to see him, she felt proud of herself for not weakening to what some may call temptation.

Tina pushed it to the back of her mind, it did cross her mind what Negan would do when she didnt show but she tried to not think of that too much but it crept up on her for the rest of the day.

What if her seeing him protected the group? And what if her not showing caused a mighty uproar? Tina was so unsure on what to do but she didnt want to 'whore' herself out so to speak just to save everyone, she wasnt like that and she didnt want to think of it like that, maybe Negan just wanted to see her for her, no strings like that attached?

Either way she was adamant she wouldnt go.

Tina was jolted from her thoughts when Daryl finally came home, slamming the door. "Ssh Poppy is finally down for a nap" Tina whispered pointing upstairs, Daryl didnt seem to care "did he touch you?" He snapped, he was agitated, he was pacing in a small line "no, i told you" Tina replied trying to get him to calm down, he looked like he had something to say and she was dreading it "it didnt look that way T!" He snapped louder pointing to his eyes, Tina could feel herself wave over with guilt, she didnt exactly invite him to touch her, now was her chance to say what Negan wanted but suddenly, Spencer being gutted open in front of her rushed to her mind and she couldnt risk that if Daryl confronted him "it didnt look like anything Daryl, he didnt do anything. He helped me with a box, thats all" Tina responded, her voice quiet to try and bring him to that level too "you know id tell you if he did! And besides i know how to protect myself" she added trying to authenticate her words. He didnt reply but he seemed happy enough, sort of.

They didnt really speak much after that, Tina could see he was still in a mood and it was beginning to wain on her. "Why do you keep going off at me like that every now and again? I cant work you out right now" Tina said, immediately wishing she hasnt spoken but she was starting to feel how she did when he was on/off with her before they came to Alexandria "Grow up Tina" he growled resting his arms over his head as he stretched on the sofa, Tina rolled her eyes, she couldnt be around him right now and she walked out without responding.

The idea of seeing Negan sprang to her mind again but she thought that was a shitty option of her just because she had had words with Daryl.

As she walked around Alexandria she thought back to how things used to be with Daryl, how he made love to her in the guard tower at the prison, how he ran to protect her when walkers stormed the camp and attacked Amy, how he killed Joe because he threatened to rape her, how he was when he found out she was pregnant, and then she remembered how they had sex in the barn and he ignored her after, how he pushed her away when Merle died, how he called her sick when she first kissed him, those memories hurt her all over again, and still Negan came to her mind, would he treat her like that? Or would he not hide his feelings like Daryl so famously did? She cursed herself for thinking about him again. Looking at Maggie and Glenn's place she saw them rocking on the porch swing, his hand so proudly on her stomach, Tina longed for that with Daryl, she had to remember their love was never going to be as smooth as theirs as they had too many hurdles to overcome and she couldnt fault Daryl for that.

"Shit!" She cursed as she bumped straight into Rick where she had got caught up in her thoughts "i was calling you for sometime, was beginning to wonder when you were going to look up until you walked straight into me, you okay?" Rick asked putting a supportive hand on her shoulder, he looked into her eyes trying to get through to her but he could tell she wasnt here nor there "Tina?" He asked her again "yea...yea im good" she lied, she paused for a moment "did it hurt when you found out Lori slept with Shane?" She asked randomly taking Rick back, he pulled a confused face, Tina shook her head "sorry im miles away, I dont know why I asked that" she sighed rubbing a hand over her face "Tina are you alright? You seem odd" he asked again, he seemed to ignore her question, probably being unsure where it came from "yes im fine" she replied bluntly, lying again. "Why dont you go home" he suggested this drove Tina mad "i dont want to go fucking home! Im pissed off with always being here this place is like a prison!" She yelled barging past him, she had that feeling of needing air again and the air in Alexandria wasnt going to do it.

She could hear Rick calling to her but she put her hands to her ears like a child but she was sick of the noise, sick of everything, she wished this was a dream and she was going to wake up in a house somewhere else in a normal world with Poppy and Daryl...or was it Negan?