That's Why I Love You

Chapter 1

Lexa

"Lexa--," I heard her gasp as pain tore through me. I looked in her eyes as I comprehended the events folding out in front of me. They were consumed by fear and desperation. My eyes turned toward the ground as my legs gave out from underneath me, causing me to crumple to the floor.

Clarke rushed to me, gathering me in her arms. I heard a clack and glanced over at Titus, who still remained in shock. The gun had been dropped to the floor and Titus had been looking at me with the same fear and desperation as Clarke. While the fear in Clarke was simply fear for me–just Lexa—the fear in Titus was fear for me as Commander. But fear that I lived to punish him, or fear that I died and left the 12 Clans without a leader—I didn't know.

"Help me get her to the bed," Clarke cried. Titus picked me up and set me down on the bed. My bloodstained shirt was ripped open and Clarke held down my wound to slow the bleeding. Even now, as I was slowly dying in front of her, her touch provided me with so much comfort. It was the one thing I needed in this life, at least since I had known her. And now I had gotten it.   

Her words before my fight with Roan rang through my head as she worked to do what she could. "I won't just sit there and watch you die!"                               

At that time, I knew that she was just concerned about her people. If I died the Coalition would probably break, and my most loyal followers would blame the Sky People for my death. And even though all she cared about was her people, at that moment all I cared about was her. Clarke continued to work on me as I faded into darkness.

My eyes opened to bright sunlight streaming in through the windows. Was this where the previous commanders went after they died? I looked around, taking in my surroundings. Everything looked as how I had left it. I sat up and felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I guess pain didn't go away wherever I was. I tried to stand but to no avail.   

"Hey, stop. What are you doing?" I heard a voice behind me. A voice too beautiful for this world. Or, the world I once lived in. This must be my heaven. With Clarke.                       

I turned around to see her concerned, beautiful blue eyes. She still had that blue shirt on when I died, and there was black blood on it. I swallowed. Shouldn't that have gone away in this paradise? I shouldn't be so quick to assume. I don't know anything about this place. The previous commanders never told me about anything like this.

"Clarke." I breathed, smiling.                                        

She walked over to where I was sitting on the bed, her concerned frown never wavering. Why wasn't she smiling? Why wasn't she happy to see me? I imagine all of this in in my head, so why isn't she happy to be here with me like I want her to be?                                   

Unless.                                                   

This isn't in my head. This is a real physical place people go when they die, not just commanders. Then that would have to mean that Clarke is physically here with me.                       
Clarke has died.                                            
I stare down at my hands. My blood is still under my fingernails. Clarke's hand reaches over and touched mine. It feels so real. Yet it feels like paradise.

"You need rest. Lie down." Clarke says.

"Why do I need rest? The dead don't sleep, Clarke." I say, continuing to stare down at my hands.   I can't bear to look her in the eyes. There isn't any way she died after she got out of Polis. Someone must have figured out what had happened and...well. I couldn't thing about what brought along Clarke's death. But either way—I caused it. I had Roan capture her and bring her here, and I then I encouraged her to stay as an Ambassador just so I could spend more time with her and make up for what I did to her at Mount Weather. She would be safe and sound probably back at "The Ark" as she calls it if it weren't for me,