That's Why I Love You

Chapter 52

Clarke

Lexa said to trust her. And I did—with every bone in my body. But Mom was...Mom. All she ever wanted to do was to protect me.

"Clarke, wanna grab some lunch?" Raven appeared at the entrance to my room. She had been cautious for the past few days. I could see the disappointment flash across her eyes every time she saw me sitting alone in my room, staring at the drawing of Lexa above my desk, curled up in a fur that I managed to sneak off one of the wagons before Lexa left. And while she was disappointed, she wasn't going to yell at me to get out of bed and socialize like Mom had. She had been here before and while at the time, what was going on with the mountain forced her to continue on, it still seemed to feel the same.

Nevertheless, I had to remind myself that Lexa wasn't dead. I was not in the exact same position Raven was with Finn.

I noted the way she barely entered the room, with one half of her body hidden behind the doorway. She already expected me to decline.

I smiled. "Sure."

She smiled with shock and nodded. "We also have a visitor."

I stopped and felt my lungs shrink. I looked up at her hopefully. She was quick to correct herself.

"Not her. Just someone we haven't seen in a while." She said. I nodded and followed after, almost relieved that it wasn't Lexa. As much as I missed her, she needed to be in Polis without any distractions. I felt peace knowing she was doing what she was so supposed to and was doing it better than before.

We walked to the dining hall. The tables weren't in the position they usually were and were off by a few inches. I closed my eyes and felt the wood of one of them. They pulled them apart in order to make more room to press Lexa to the floor when they thought she killed the guard.

"Hey, Blondie." I heard a sickeningly familiar voice say from behind me. I turned around. His face still had that annoying quality that I could never put my finger on. His too long hair fell over his eyes. His face seemed a little bruised up, but it was nothing compared to when I had last seen him.

"Murphy." I growled.

"Nice to see you, too."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, taking a seat. While I had regained most of my strength, I still got dizzy from time to time. His face changed for a second once he saw me struggle for a moment, quite different from the physically strong Clarke he had seen months earlier.

"Emori got sick. She's just being treated and then we'll be out of your hair, don't worry." He said, taking a seat himself. I felt an unusual sense of appreciation for him as he took it upon himself to get down to my level and not look down on me.

"You don't have to leave." I said half-heartedly. I didn't have the energy to argue, especially not with him. If he wanted to leave, there wasn't much I could say or do to stop him.

"I know. But Emori's not welcome here and...," he sighed. "I won't leave her."

I smiled. It seemed as if someone had gotten through to him after all these months. I was happy for him.

"You know she is." I said. "Lincoln was and still is."

"Was Lexa?" He asked.

I swallowed. "That was different."

He nodded. "Maybe. But anyways, Emori's not like Lincoln. She's had to fight harder than anyone I know just to stay alive. She...,"

"She's like you." I finished.

He nodded.

"Well, if you ever get sick of living in a cave, you're welcome here." I said.

He nodded. Raven returned, armfuls of food in her arms. She set them down in front of us and sat next to me.