That's Why I Love You

Chapter 50

Clarke

"Abby!" I heard a voice break out, but it was muffled. I couldn't tell who it was. They were panicked. My ears were ringing. My eyes wouldn't open, even if I willed them to. "Raven!"

I was slid onto a medical table. I felt the cold prick my skin and I immediately missed the warm arms that had been carrying me.

"She was hot a minute ago." The flustered voice said. A warm hand was pressed against my forehead. "She's freezing now."

"Okay. I'm gonna need you to leave."

"No. No, I'm not leaving. Where's Raven?" She asked frantically.

"This isn't the City of Light anymore. That may have caused it, but she's out now. There shouldn't be anything in her system. Raven wouldn't know what she was doing."

"I'd still trust her more than you." She snapped.

"Fine, Lexa. But you still need to leave."

"Not a chance." Lexa said. I felt familiar fingers tangle with mine. "I'm here, Clarke."

"Clarke?"

I blinked back bright light as my eyes adjusted. I smiled when I saw her. Her eyes were wide, searching mine for some sort of sign that I was okay. She stood and walked over, running her hand along my arm.

"How do you feel?" She asked me.

"Tired." I croaked. She nodded and glanced down. "What happened?"

"Malnutrition, for one." She said. "You were exhausted. You shouldn't have been up and under that much stress after you just woke up."

Staring up at her and reading her averted, guilty eyes I understood what she was implying of herself. I saved her from the angry Arkadians. We had argued in an argument she had started. The natblidas had demanded much of my attention.

"So I can go?" I asked.

She looked down at me. "No, Clarke, you can't." She glanced up at the IV stand. "Even though your mother was going to let you die a day ago, she was more than happy to give you the nutrients you need now." She said to herself. Her eyes were dancing with rage and her jaw was hard.

I glanced up at her as she ranted and my ears caught on something.

"Wait, wait—what did you say?"

She looked down at me and realized what she had said. She swallowed thickly and shook her head to herself ever so subtly.

"I'm sorry, Clarke. I—I didn't mean to say that."

I grabbed onto her hand and stopped her. "No, tell me."

"I shouldn't. Not right now." Lexa said.

I narrowed my eyes at her. She sighed. "You don't want to tell me what happened while you were asleep. While I want to know, I'll give you your time. Right now, it's best you don't know what I'm not telling you and focus on getting better."

I shook my head but dropped the subject.

She hesitantly sat next to me on the bed and clasped her hands together. "You'll have to be vigilant for the next few days. Only get up to eat, you can't see anyone besides your closest friends."

"And you." I clarified. She glanced up at me and nodded.

"Of course."

I stared down at my own clasped hands, fiddling my fingers together. It felt odd when she was here and her hands were available, sitting just as mine were, but they weren't holding mine.