That's Why I Love You

Chapter 4

Clarke

I rode back to Arkadia in silence, with only the clicking of hooves in our ears.

I couldn't stop thinking about the look on Lexa's face before I had left. She was so heartbroken, I could tell, but she was doing what she did best. Hiding her feelings. She was trying to be strong for me. She was trying to make it easier on me to leave. But no amount of reassuring from her would make my aching heart feel better.

Finally Octavia broke the silence.

"We'll get our people, back, Clarke. Don't worry."

I nodded. It wasn't my people I was thinking about. For once, only one person occupied my thoughts.

"I just don't know how..." I trailed off, looking at the ground in front of me.

"We'll figure it out. We always do." Octavia reassured me. "Or rather, Monty and Raven will."

I smiled at that. "Yeah."

We rode for a long while before I saw the fence of Arkadia. The electricity, the cold metal, and the men with guns watching for anything that moved. I could see why the grounders wanted nothing to do with us.

The guards stayed behind while Octavia and I went forward, sauntering up to the gate. We waited until the watchmen barked orders to let us in.

I could see that everything had changed since we had left. There weren't fires blazing everywhere, and starving children running about. But the whole camp felt tense. People walked quickly, and there wasn't any playful chatter. I realized now that Lexa was right. They needed help.

Looking over, I saw that Octavia wasn't fazed by the change in atmosphere. She walked in with me, and slipped off her horse. I followed suit. She offered to take the horses to the stable and grabbed the reins from me.

Then I saw Mom. She was talking to Kane in hushed whispers, glancing around every few seconds, her eyes darting from one person to another. Her eyes looked swollen and bloodshot, and she looked as if she hadn't eaten in days. Kane didn't look any better.

Kane's eyes landed on me. He lowered his head and said something to my mom, probably announcing my presence. Mom turned and started to walk towards me, a small smile on her face. Kane watched for a moment before nodding and walking off.

"Hi, hon." Mom said, hugging me for a quick second. It seemed odd, given how she liked to hold me and make sure I was okay every time she hugged me. "I'm glad you're here. But I also wish that you weren't."

I was taken aback. "Why?"

Mom looked around. "Things aren't looking good. I...I don't know what's going to happen."

"Then it's good that I'm here...I can help."

Mom shook her head. "I don't know if you can."

I nodded. "I have to try. Otherwise..."

Otherwise there was no point in leaving Polis. There was no point in leaving Lexa.

"We can't talk here. We're meeting in the operating room. 3 hours." Mom said before walking toward the medical bay.

I walked to the medical bay quietly, but not too quietly. I kept an eye out and pretended to be walking somewhere else when a guard walked by.

Raven, Mom, Kane, Octavia and Lincoln along with a few other people I didn't recognize were in the OR. They surrounded the operating table and talked quietly. I looked intently at Lincoln. Octavia told me he had been imprisoned briefly, but that Kane and Mom managed to get him out after coaxing Pike to let him go. Still, Pike kept a close eye on the Grounder .