That's Why I Love You

Chapter 19

Clarke

Bellamy and I rode back to Arkadia in silence, with a lightly snoring Lexa sitting in front of me. The silence was awkward, but any conversation we had would prove to be ten times more so.

When we neared the gates of Arkadia, I pressed my lips against Lexa's forehead, hoping to wake her peacefully. She continued to snore, and so I squeezed her hand. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at me with exhaustion.

"We're here." I said softly. She took her eyes away from mine and looked around. Her eyes met the gate first.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" She asked, looking back up at me.

I shook my head. I didn't even know if I could go in.

Bellamy got off his horse and limped over to the gate. One of the guards opened it and talked incoherently with Bellamy while Lexa and I dismounted Astraeus.

Bellamy walked back over to us. He shared a simple smile and an appreciative nod with Lexa. "Thank you. For coming back."

Lexa nodded subtly. "You have potential to be a great leader, Bellamy. Do not waste it anymore." I smiled at the way she worked in a warning, telling him to not go out and kill her people anymore.

"Don't do anything stupid." I said in a monotone voice.

Bellamy sighed. "I won't. I'm sorry, Clarke."

"I know." I said softly. There wasn't a lot to forgive, since Bellamy never really shot me. But I couldn't trust him with my life anymore, seeing how easily he could've killed me for Pike's approval. I did abuse his trust, but his life was never in danger. 

He waited for a moment to make sure I didn't have anything else to say before walking through the gate and into Arkadia.

"I'm shocked, Clarke." Lexa said, breaking the silence. "You forgive easily, and yet you refuse to forgive him."

I shook my head and turned around, facing Lexa. "There's not one thing to forgive. I can't be around him when he's this cruel, merciless person."

"You can be around me when I'm a cruel, merciless person."

"But I already know that that isn't who you are." I said, walking toward her. She smiled softly and took both of my hands in her own.

"And you know that isn't who Bellamy really is." She said quietly. I looked to the ground. She was annoyingly right. Bellamy was still unrecognizable to me. I always saw through Lexa's hard exterior, but right now, I couldn't see through his.

"Can we just go home?" Lexa nodded and turned toward Astraeus. She seemed disappointed when I moved over to the other horse. I laughed. "It's not even five minutes, Lexa. I'll ride with you the whole way back to Polis, I promise."

She smiled brightly. "That would raise many questions, Clarke, but they will go unanswered."

We both mounted and made our way back to the camp, exchanging playful glances and giddy smiles.

"So, I invited Raven, Octavia and Lincoln to Polis. I hope that's okay." I said.

Lexa nodded. She rode ahead of me, so I could barely see a flash of jealousy. "Yes, that's fine. It'll be good to have your friends with you. As much as I would love to be, I can't be with you the whole day."

"That was my thinking." I decided to soothe her jealousy. "But I'll miss you when you're not around."

She smiled and looked back at me. "I'll miss you, too."