The Winter Soldier is Still Here (Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x reader)

Settling Disappointment

BUCKY POV
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Steve is going to be here soon. I should really get up and make this place a little presentable. I never know if he's going to bring company or not with all of his Avengers friends. Sure, Steve was my friend first, but he has this new life now with all of these other people he cares about and who have his back, despite the fighting over me. Sometimes, part of me wishes he'd just forget about me. It'd make his life so much easier, but it seems no matter how much I try to convince him of this, he denies it and continues moving.

Mostly, I think it's because of his love and care for me due to our relationship back in the 40's before everything became this outlandish and peculiar hell we're calling life. A small part of me can't help but tell myself that his not letting go is actually because of his guilt for not being able to keep me from falling and being turned into this mayhem that is Bucky and his prevailing alter ego, Winter Soldier.

I strong-armed the thoughts to the back of my mind and forced myself out of bed. I headed to the kitchen and as I waited for my bread to toast, I washed the few dishes that were in the sink. The apartment had a dishwasher, but I had never been able to bring myself to use it. Washing dishes brought back to me faint memories of watching my mother from the kitchen table before she died. I wonder what she and pops would think of their son.

Before I could delve into that dark and bottomless, pitiless abyss, I heard a knock at the door.

"It's just me, Buck," Steve said delicately from the other side of the door when I didn't open it immediately.

I let him in and he slapped me on the shoulder reassuringly as he passed.

"The place looks great, Buck," he said looking around.

I knew he was saying this to be polite. I hadn't added or changed anything since I moved in. The walls were are bare as the bottom of a Christmas tree on New Years. The hardwood floor was clean, but I had added no carpets or rugs to make things more 'homey'. The fireplace had the same amount of wood Steve had left when he helped me move. I didn't mind the cold as it fit me well. Of all of the frigid places- from a winter in Brooklyn to the depths of Siberia and of course there's the whole cryostasis reason I'm even alive-I had seen and been in my life, a little cold never bothered me.

Nonetheless, Steve plopped down on the ratty couch and motioned to the chair across from him, "so how have you been, Bucky?"

READER POV
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I rushed across town to C-MED, what I referred to my Classification of Mental and Emotional Disorders class as because the course name was a mouthful. I didn't want to be late, with it being my favorite class so far. I was so glad that I was able to take this class immediately upon entering the program because it was what I wanted to place my focus on as a prospective counselor. I made it in the knick of time and received a stern look from Professor Brow.

After class, I headed for The Muse. While my shift wouldn't start for another couple of hours, I could go ahead and begin working on the paper Brow had assigned this morning that was due next class.

"Sometimes I really miss being the one assigning the papers, instead of writing them," I couldn't help but think, smiling to myself.

It's a cool day out, so I'm thinking Christmas in a Cup is a definite to warm me up from the inside out. I spoke with Maggie, the baker/manager/owner (she wore many metaphorical hats), upon entering and explaining what was up as we swapped stories about our day.