The Winter Soldier is Still Here (Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x reader)

Do I Wanna Know?

READER POV
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I struggled to recall what horrible things I had done. Jake had said Bucky was my target...and if he was my target...and I had hurt people. Oh God, please no, please don't tell me I hurt Bucky-or worse- and completed the mission Hydra had given me. I would never be able to survive that knowledge. Then again, Jake said I would never even remember him, but I remembered him now. How? Maybe it's like Bucky could remember every victim even though he couldn't control his actions as the Winter Soldier. But when I'm conscious, or triggered, I can't remember him. Oh God no, no, no, no. My brain attempted to yell Steve's name. I had to know. I continued to scream his name, the voice in my head in utter agony. I screamed in my brain until I could hear my voice, until I willed it to return. I pushed through the pain in my vocal chords in order for him to hear me. Instead I heard a female voice attempting to calm me over my screams.

"(Y/n), this is Wanda. I'm here. Can you hear me?"

I stopped screaming when I recognized her.

"(Y/n), I'm ready to defend myself but I hope you won't make me. Are you awake or still under sedation?"

I took a moment to pause and think. After a moment, I willed my eyelids to flutter open. My vision was blurred for a moment, so I took a few seconds to simply blink in an attempt to clear it. Then I found her and was able to focus on her appearance.

It took me additional time to focus my brain enough to form coherent words and questions. As I worked through that, she could tell it was me and not the winter soldier in me.

"There are those kind eyes. You're back with us...do you know what I mean by that?"

I nodded and then got directly to the point.

"Please, where's Steve? I need to speak with Steve."

"He's stepped out but I'll text him to let him know you're awake and back to your normal self."

"What did I do?"

She looked at me sadly.

"Let's not go there right now. We don't know what triggers you yet."

I laid and continued to allow the words to echo in my mind, living out all of the worst possible scenarios in my mind.

"How are you feeling now," Wanda ventured after a moment of silence between us.

"Tied down and fearful, but not...not that other person they turned me into. Thank God. Do you think there's any way they would untie me now and let me see B-....him?

"I'm not sure," she sluggishly responded. "I'm sure anyone and everyone here would be happy to arrange that if, and only if, the triggers were known. The mistake has already been made once and I think that has everyone on high alert and concerned with you being free."

"Well...I guess that's that." I paused, considering how to ask my next question, plus I wanted to appear more resolute about the words that had just left my mouth. My mind and memory are still a little foggy. I recall Steve saying something about being in Wakanda...wherever that is...and that they were trying to reverse what Hy-they did. Is that correct?"

"You're right on tar-yes. You're correct."

As if being summoned, or possibly there were eyes and ears everywhere, a young woman walked in the room.

"Oh! Ms. (Y/l/n), you're awake...and seem to be yourself again. I'm Shuri."

"I am myself again. Are you one of the people trying to make that a permanent thing? If so, not to be rude, but can you please hurry up? I want to see...."

She understood immediately. She proceeded to walk over to some technology I hadn't seen elsewhere in the world and it seemed as if she was reading the outputs and analyzing a decision to be made.

"I'm sorry that we can't loosen the straps holding you down currently, Ms. (y/l/n). It would simply be too much of a risk. However, I would like to add on a happier note that it appears as if the antidote we put in your IV most recently is taking some effect and reversing some of the damage that the despised group has wrought. If my calculations are correct, we will have to go at least three more rounds with this antidote to completely reverse and erase the original serum they injected you with."

"Well, that's great news and I hope you're correct. Now the only question is, how long will that take? If you know."

"I would estimate that it would take at least nine hours. The pr-"

I could feel my body radiating cold and my mind beginning to slip after hearing "nine." I had to stop it...but I couldn't.

"Se-Sedate me! Sedate m-me NOW." I roared. I felt a needle slip into my bicep just in time and the darkness fell over me once again.

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Author's note: To all of you lovelies that have dedicated time to reading this, I'm sorry it has taken not only so long to write and post anything and then for it to be this short. I hope this will tie you over for some time while I continue to work on new content for you. I do feel this story may soon be coming to a close...probably more because the lack of time/writing power that I currently can access but in general as well. I hope to post more soon! Thank you again, and always, for reading. The Winter Soldier is still here...and so am I.