The Winter Soldier is Still Here (Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x reader)

A Surprise Visitor

When I landed I called my friend, Gayle, and asked her if she was busy. She knew immediately by my calling her and my tone that something was wrong. She agreed to meet me shortly. I grabbed an Uber and headed to my apartment. When I got there, I made my way up the stairs and once inside, put my luggage down and grabbed my keys. I immediately turned on my heel and headed out the door. We met at the only tea room in town to talk. When we sat she immediately asked me how I was, "really".

I told her everything, even who it was I had been seeing. She was surprised by the whom, but not so much the back and forth situation. She didn't like the idea of me seeing a former assassin. I reminded her that it wasn't happening anymore. She was still empathetic because she could see how much it pained me.

"Do you have any advice," I asked, only a glimmer of hope remaining within my being.

"Sadly, (y/n), I don't. If I'm being totally honest, part of me is relieved and I think it's good that things seem over. Yet, another part of me wonders what could have come of this relationship, for the both of you. I have no idea how to advise on this one." Gayle too was a counseling student, except she had graduated with a Masters years before. I was quite a bit behind. I could only sigh and stare into my coffee in response.

We bid farewell and she told me to be in touch soon, in order to check on how I was doing. I headed home, it was only a few blocks and the cold was welcome. When I made it upstairs to my apartment, I unlocked the door and walked in. I shed my outer layers and placed them onto the kitchen island. I didn't feel like putting them away at the moment. I lit the candle sitting there and transfixed my gaze of the flame, trying to burn the pain out of my mind and chest. It did nothing but make things worse. I flipped through the mail that had come while I was away. Nothing but bills and advertisements touched my eyesight which was soon blurred as I thought about Bucky constantly getting on me for working so much in order to pay the stupid things. I placed them back on the counter and began to walk to my room to put away the outer layers. I walked through the doorway and my brain thought my eyes were playing tricks on them.

STEVE POV
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I knocked on the door and received a half-hearted "come in."

"I'm guessing it's been a while since you ate, so I brought you some food." He was sitting on his bed, head placed back against the headboard with hands on his lap, knuckles white from gripping his hands so tight against each other. I handed him a bowl of beef and broccoli quinoa then sat on the corner of bed diagonally opposite of him.

"So you're really not going to go after her, are you?" He shook his head, lips pinched tight. I could only nod and look away in response. After a moment, his voice surprised me.

"I want to, Steve, I do, but I can't. I can't keep putting her through this. I can't take the risk of losing her." I knew what he meant finally. Why I hadn't understood before now, I had no idea. I remained silent for a moment, letting the understanding settle and work my brain to its next question.

"Will you go after her if Tony erases the Winter Soldier?" He didn't answer. He didn't make any movement, any sound, any acknowledgment that he had even heard my question, but I knew better than that.

"I don't know. By then, she'll...she'll be happy with someone new and living the life she wants."

"But you'll track her down at least? To check on her?" I knew the answer when I saw the smallest light of happiness flash across his eyes.