unlovable

part 11

[vanessa's pov]

i throw my arms around caleb, i don't care if he hates me, i don't care if he doesn't want me anymore.. i want to talk to him. i need him.
my emotional state is at an all-time low.. i know it's probably wrong of me to be here, but i could care less. i'm shocked at the fact that he quickly embraces me. maybe he doesn't hate me.
"what are you doing here?" he whispers.
"i-i needed you.." i whine, "i can leave if you want me to, though."
he shakes his head & shuts the door behind me.
"come on." he smiles, taking my hand and leading me to his room.
i see american horror story on his tv & laugh, i'm happy i got him into it.
astro rushes up the stairs and pretty much tackles me down.
"hi, my good boy!" i giggle, he licks my cheeks.
his fur is so soft, i missed him.
he's always so happy to see me. he loves me a lot.
i wipe my face with my sleeve and get up from the ground.
as i'm leaning down to pet astro again, i feel caleb's hands around my waist.
such a simple gesture, but i adore it & i forgot how it feels. i missed it.
i melt under his touch. i lean against him and then turn around, looking in his eyes.
he still has the same look he did before we broke up. vanessa he's taken.
i snap out of it & sit down on his bed. he joins me & continues to stare.
"listen, caleb.. i'm not really sure what led me here, and i wish that i could tell you that i moved on. i wish i could just leave you alone & let you be happy with her. that's not the case.. i don't feel any different than i did before. i miss you all the time.. i care about you. i love you.. and i want to ask a few things, if that's okay." i explain.
he nods slowly in response.
"are you happy?" i ask.
he goes blank for a moment, there's an emptiness that fills his eyes. a pit arises in my stomach.
my baby isn't happy.
i feel a tear begin to run down my face, but i wipe it away quickly.
he looks down at the floor.
"caleb, are you okay?" i run my thumbs across his cheeks and turn him to look at me.
he gives me a soft smile, "no."
i pull him in for another hug. he holds onto me tightly, and i refrain from crying again.
i whisper, "do you miss me?"
i hear him take a deep breathe.
then, his head starts moving up and down on my shoulder.
don't cry don't cry don't cry.
i just hold onto him tighter and rub his back softly.
i slowly return to face him, "do you still love me, caleb?"
his eyes say about a million things in that moment.
"yes." he mumbles.
we stare at each other for a moment, and then we both connect our lips at the same time.
my heart rate picks up, i can feel it all again.
everything sparks up inside of me, it ignites again.
the passion, the drive, the love, the fire..
it's all there. i missed him.
what the hell are you doing vanessa? he's with her for a reason. he's taken.
i break away from the kiss. he searches my eyes in confusion.
"you're with her, caleb." i remind him.
he closes his eyes and leans his forehead against mine. i feel a tear slip from my eyes again.
"do you wanna watch american horror story with me?" i change the subject, trying to avoid my complete and total breakdown.
"yeah, i would." he smiles and moves to grab the remote.

---
i've been laying with caleb for the past hour, his arms wrapped around me.
we haven't talked about the kiss or any deep/personal shit, but i can't help but want him.
i try to focus on the show, but all that's running through my mind is him.
i hear the song that plays during the credits & my mind snaps back into reality.
he looks at me, "that was such an intense episode. are you sure that really happened!?"
"yes, caleb. i'm sure." i giggle.
he looks at me and shakes his head.
he then scans through his tv apps & opens youtube,
playing "crash into me" by the dave matthews band.
i relax, "this one is so good."
as the song's instrumentals play, i can't help but hear a noise that doesn't belong.
a car door slam.
FUCK.
i get out of his bed as fast as possible and hide behind the door.
he looks at me in fear, but it's too late to say anything. he then pretends to act casual.
"babe, i'm home!" janice calls from downstairs.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
this can not be happening right now.
she comes here & says she's home like they both live here. what the hell?
i hear her footsteps travel up the stairs and down the hallway to caleb's room.
i hold my breathe.
"oh, hey! i didn't know you were coming, why didn't you text me?" i hear him ask.
"it's a surprise! did you miss me?" she laughs.
i hear him nervously laugh & get out of the bed.
"by the way, who's car is that in the driveway?" she asks.
fucking hell.
"my mom's friend parked their car here while they both went out tonight. i can't hang out with you tonight, they'll be home soon, i'm sorry."
he is a terrible liar but i pray it works on this hoe.
"are you sure about that?" she teases.
followed by KISSING NOISES!?
hell NO. i swear-- i don't know how much longer i can do this.
"no, janice. i'm not in the mood.. that's enough, you have to leave." he orders.
"please? we can have some fun.. just let me stay for a little bit, babe." she whines.
that's fucking it.
i slam his room door, revealing me from behind it.
i fold my arms, "i guess bitches don't understand the word no. tragic."

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oooooh i smell the tea brewing!! drama central.

hope you all are doing well, thank you for reading(:

xo
- adrianna