unlovable

part 22

[vanessa's pov]
"that was amazing." i moan as cody falls next to me.
we take a moment to catch our breathe.
things have been going great between cody & i.
i've grown so extremely close with him & we've been doing amazing.
"i'm gonna shower, baby. i'll be right back." he kisses my cheek and goes into the bathroom.
i sink back into my pillow, waiting for my turn in the shower. i suppose i could have just showered with him but the idea didn't pop in my head until now. plus, we're always together & he deserves that privacy.
my phone begins to vibrate rapid heartbeats.
oh shit.
i clear my throat and answer the call.
when i place my phone to my ear i hear him mumble, "hi."
the first time we talk in weeks and you say hi?
"hey?" i say, inflicting the confusion i'm feeling.
"how are you?" he asks.
i roll my eyes, "why do you care?"
"listen, vanessa.. i'm sorry, okay? i fucked up. i always seem to do that."
"yeah. you made your choice, though."
"i guess.." he drifts off.
what does that even mean?
"are you not happy?" i question.
he is silent for a moment & then speaks again, "what makes you think that i'm not?"
"if you were happy i would hear it in your voice. if you were happy you could say that you were."
he remains silent.
"what is this, caleb? you left me because you wanted her." i whine.
he remains silent.
"listen, caleb. this is stupid & this hurts, if you wanted me you would tell me. seriously--"
"can we see each other soon?" he asks.
now he's asking if we can see each other? what the hell is even going on?
i sigh, "i don't think that's the best idea."
"okay.. well, whatever you wanna do."
i fucking hate when he says that. he always said that. i'm going to do what i want to do whether or not you give me permission. i had him in my #1 slot, he was my everything. i would listen to him (and sometimes not, because i'm a rebel, bitch.) a lot of the shit he says doesn't always make sense, but that's what i love about him. it was never one thing when it came to us-- it was a mix. it was being in love with your best friend & i'd be a liar if i told you i didn't miss him. i still remember the little details of his body, the way he ran his fingers through his hair, his late-night snack sessions, the way his eyes would focus on the tv when he was into a show, the way he would throw his head back when he laughed or the little things he would do for me like-- i'm getting way too ahead of myself.
hearing his voice made my heart speed up, it made me feel better. he always made me feel better.
"vanessa?" he interrupts my thoughts.
"yeah, hi." i fake laugh a little.
i hear the water turn off in the shower.
"hey, i got to go. i'll talk to you soon." i keep my voice down so cody can't hear me.
"okay." he says & i hang up the phone.
cody opens the bathroom door and comes out wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
he has tattoos that spread across his arms and upper chest. i love them.
he's living art. i smile and get out of bed, going to take my shower..

i can't seem to shake caleb's voice from my head. he always has his effect on me.

----
cody says he wants to take me out tomorrow night. i'm excited, it's a chance to get my mind off of everything.
after i put on new, clean clothes, i crawl into my bed where cody lays.
he's already sleeping. i kiss his shoulder.
it isn't long before sleep takes over my body.

----
[caleb's pov]
the sun shines through the window, i just finished eating lunch. janice walks in from the living room.
"please come with me to the club tonight? we'll have fun." she asks, wrapping her arms around my waist.
"yeah, sure." i say emptily, staring out the window.
janice squeaks in excitement, "yay! i'm going home to get ready, i'll be back at 7! be ready."
she kisses me on the cheek and leaves.
i lean on the counter and place my forehead in my hands. what is going on with me?
maybe i deserve to be hurt after everything.. but i want to be happy.
maybe i still love vanessa....
i can't wait to go to the club tonight and forget about everything.

---
[vanessa's pov]
cody picks me up at 7:21PM. i climb into his jeep wearing a tight black dress & beige heels. my hair is up in a ponytail. it's a warm autumn night & i'm feeling pretty good.
"you look gorgeous, baby." cody leans over and kisses me.
i smile, "thank you, babe. you look great as well."
i pull my phone out of my purse & take a selfie of cody & i.
he pulls out of the parking lot. his left hand is on the steering wheel, his right hand is on my thigh.
he glances at me, "you can pick the music, beautiful."
i connect the aux cord to my phone & play "might not" by belly & the weeknd.
i start doing small hip rotations along with the intro.
"you better stop otherwise i'll have to pull over & take you in the backseat right now." cody demands.
i giggle. since when do i listen?
his hand still rests on my thigh, which now travels to my inner thigh.
he bites his lip as he watches me lip-sync along to the words and twist my hair between my fingers.
i lean out of my seat a little to kiss him down his neck, and then across his cheek to the side of his lips. i whisper in his ear, "i might not make it."
he lets out a whine, "vanessa, you fucking tease. what am i gonna do with you?"
i bat my eyelashes, "i don't know, cody.. what are you gonna do?"
his breathe hitches but he gains control of himself again, "right now we're going out & then you're coming home with me."
"am i now?" i giggle, leaning back in my seat.
he swipes his tongue across his lips and then smiles.
tonight is going to be fun.

---
we pull up to a club, i can feel the bass from within the jeep.
"ready?" he asks, opening my door for me.
i step out, "hell yeah."
we walk in the club together & cody is friends with the security guard. apparently his best friend owns the club & he is a member here.
"hey, cody!" the guard yells over the music.
"hi, alex! this is my girlfriend, vanessa." he introduces me.
the guard simply waves and motions for both of us to enter the guard.
the colors & flashing lights immediately fill the room, the loud music is booming.
i recognize the song, it's "last all night" by oliver heldens. cody and i walk to the dance floor together.
he wraps his arms around my waist as i begin to dance along with the beat.
i laugh, the music & the lights takes over my senses. i connect my lips with cody's, i feel amazing.
the song fades to "one dance" by drake and i immediately start moving my hips along with the music. cody comes up behind me and moves along with me. when the song slows down, i lean back into his arms.
he spins me around and then pulls me close.
we're both laughing and having fun.
"i'm gonna go get us some drinks, baby." he says in my ear and i nod in response.
he leaves and i continue to dance along to the music. as i spin around, i see him.
i stop dancing and turn around again.
he's not there.
fucking vanessa always seeing things.
the dj fades in "duele el corazon" by enrique iglesias.
i shrug my shoulders & start moving along with the beat. this song is so good & it makes me want to know how to speak spanish.
it's such a feel-good song.
i whip my hair around and move my hips back and forth. i spin around again and feel someone behind me. i fall onto them slightly.
"oh my god i'm so sorry!" i immediately apologize and gain my balance again.
"don't be sorry." the same voice that i remember so well.

it's caleb.

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thanks for reading! xo

- adrianna