How everything changed (One Direction fanfiction)

Chapter Seventeen - Not Another Good Bye

Kathryn's s P.O.V

I woke up to my phone buzzing. How did I hear it? I have no idea. The message was from Emily. She was reminding me that she was leaving. I didn't reply. I looked over to my iHome. It was still playing my music. I had literally cried myself to sleep last night, but I just couldn't break. I know Emily wanted me to break last night so she could be here when I did, but I couldn't. Not yet.

I had this weird feeling, telling me to go see my mom. I got up and hopped in the shower. Of coarse I was also playing music and singing along with it. When I got out I quickly got dressed and put in my headphones. I did not want to talk to anyone at all. I started playing my music and walked out my bedroom door. I saw Harry and Niall. They both looked shocked to see me. I ignored them and kept walking. Before I realized it I had already reached the hospital. I went straight to my mom's room and sat down. I stopped listening to music and sat in silence. I felt like I needed to say good bye. I didn't want to say good bye. I had a terrible feeling that if I didn't then I would regret it, so I did.

"Hey mommy, I miss you. As much as I can't believe I am saying this but I miss your nagging and your strictness. I love you so much and I need you. Please wake up!"

I paused as I started to cry.

"I remember the time you walked into my English class and, uh... you completely embarrassed me. All my class mates laughed and I blushed. I remember the times when I was a toddler and I would cry into the baby monitor all the way on the other side of the house. I remember you forgot to turn the baby monitor on in your room one time. I had a terrible nightmare that night. I was screaming and crying. I then finally gave up and slowly waked to your room all the way on the other side of the house. I was so scared and I was balling by the time I reached your room. I remember when you would tease Emily and I about who was your favorite. I remember when you and I would drive into town and we had a conversation about some issue and you would always tell me what I needed to do now and how I should take care of it. You know at the dance I over heard Monique, Taylor and Sydney talking about me. They said some really messed up stuff that wasn't even true."

I took another pause, wiping away a few tears.

"You know mom. If you really do go. I don't know what I would do. I would brake inside. I wouldn't be able to pull out of isolation. Right now I feel like I need to be strong. I don't want to grieve. I want to be strong and not show the boys how weak I am. I know they are worried and I don't want to put them threw the same thing I have put you threw. They just won't understand. I love you so much mom and if you go there is absolutely no way I could live my life the same. I have a terrible feeling that you won't make it, and it is ripping me apart. Please don't go! Please mommy! Please don't go! Please!"

I stopped talking except for a 'please' or 'don't go' and 'I love you' every now and then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time flew by really fast. I listened to the constant beeping. Then everything changed.

"Beeeeeeeeep"

I quickly jumped up. Nurses rushed in. The line on the heart monitor went flat. The nurses were trying to save her. All of a sudden everything went silent. I couldn't hear a single thing. I was in shock at the sight before me. I was crying my eyes out. I kept screaming 'No', 'don't go', 'please' and 'Mom'. I really could not loose her. I felt myself pulled backwards. I felt my back press against someone. Arms wrapped around me and my legs gave away. I fell but wasn't able to fall to my knees. I was held up by someone. The only thing I heard was.

"Time of death... 8:57 pm" I silently screamed 'no' as all the nurses and doctors left the room.

I started at the sheet in front of me. Underneath it was the body of my mother. I walked forward, out of the arms I was being held in. I lifted up the part of the sheet that covered my mom's left hand. I slowly slid off her wedding ring and placed it in my pocket. My sister currently has my father's wedding ring and now I have my mother's. I fell to the ground. I shut my eyes as tight as possible and placed my hands on my face. I couldn't believe I had lost both of my parents. This couldn't be happening. I really wish this was all a dream. One huge screwed up dream.

I felt myself lifted in to the air and onto my feet. Then strong arms picked me up bridal style. I struggled at first I didn't want to go. If I left then that would only mean one thing... My mother was truly gone. I would never see her again. I couldn't leave. I wanted her to come back. I wished that God would send a miracle my way and my mother would suddenly sit up. That he would let her live again. There was one problem..... Who ever was holding me wouldn't let go. I finally gave in. I grabbed the person's shirt. I cried my heart out. I felt the cold air hit my skin then I was placed in a seat. I opened my eyes to see Liam smile at me. He had placed me in the passenger seat of his car. He buckled me in and shut the door. He ran around to the other side and got in. He drove for less than five minutes before he pulled into a huge garage. We were at the hotel. Liam hopped out and ran to my side of the car. He opened the door and looked at me. I started to cry...... more like sob. He leaned in and hugged me. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him. I felt like a child being carried on a mother's hip. I buried my face in his shoulder. We finally reached the top floor of the hotel. He opened the door and walked in. He must have had the card key to the room. I heard someone walk up to us and place their hand on my shoulder. I didn't move.

"What happened?" I heard Niall's Irish accent speak.

"After I read Harry's text I left the others at the mall and went to go see if she was there at the hospital. When I walked in there were a bunch of nurses and doctors around her mom."

"Oh no." Niall gasped.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"She died." I gripped Liam's shirt even tighter and he rubbed soothing circles on my back while whispering calming things in my ear.

"Here, set her down on the couch." Niall spoke again.

I felt myself being lowered to the ground. Soon I was sitting on the couch. Niall sat down on my right and wrapped his arm around me. Liam sat on my left and Harry crouched down in front of me. I shut my eyes as tight as possible.

"Kathryn? Please look at me?" Harry spoke.

I didn't reply. He placed his hands on my knees.

"Please?" He asked again.

I shook my head at him. I refused to open my eyes.

"Everything will be alright. We will be right by your side the whole time. Don't worry."

His words upset me. They pushed me to far........ I didn't want comfort. I didn't want to be around anyone. I wanted to be locked in my room, where nothing bad could happen and I could listen to music all the time. I could isolate myself from the world. I didn't want to live in reality any more. I wanted to escape to my own little world. I wanted to cry and cry and cry. My life will never be the same now. Everything is screwed up and all that I can say is........ Why? Why me? Why my parents? I am a good kid. Am I not? What did I do wrong? What did my parents do to deserve this? I know God has a reason for everything, but why this and why me?

I stood up and ran to my room. I slammed the door and locked it. I leaned up against the door. I didn't want to shut them out, but I felt like my heart was shattering right then and there. My heart felt heavy and was breaking into a million pieces as if it was glass. I paced around my room. I had to think. I pressed play on my iPod and played Christian music. I decided I couldn't isolate. I had to hold back. I would have to go home and back to school by next week. I wouldn't survive if I isolated myself off. I had to stay strong. I had to stay social. There was no other choice. I had to. I refused to let my grieving process be an option and take over my life.

Author's Note

Again sorry if the names suddenly changed on you. I didn't like the names I was using so I changed a few of them.