How everything changed (One Direction fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty-Five - Not So Good News

Yes I know it is the beginning of April but in the book it is still February. I'm placing this chapter the last week in February. Only about a month behind the real date!!!

Enjoy!!! 😃

Kathryn's P.O.V

We have been in the U.K for a few weeks now and we are leaving soon. We will be touring the rest of the continent Europe. I'm excited to see more of our crazy world. I've been spending a lot of my time in the back of the bus. I mostly just sit next to a plug in with my iPod on the charger so it won't die. I do a lot of listening to music and just staring out the window, enjoying the views and landscape I have never seen before.

The guys have so far respected my space and left me alone. I can tell that it is killing them. I know they want me to leave the bus a go sight seeing and have fun with them but they don't even ask any more. They know I will turn down the offers so they just stand in the door way tell I look at them and then wave, signaling they are leaving. They motion for me to go with them when they go out to eat or there is a concert. Other then that, I sit here and do nothing.

No one understands why I isolate myself instead of talking to people when I am sad or hurting. I had a friend ask me why I did it. She said it didn't help me or my friends. It always made my friends worried. She said I was really emotional and easily angered, but wouldn't you be too if you had this indescribable feeling and no one understood you? 'Cause that's just the thing.... I can't even explain this. It comes and goes even when nothing is wrong. I sent out a snap chat one time saying 'where has the happiness gone?'. I only had two people respond. They ask what was wrong and what happened. But nothing was wrong and nothing happened... Just an indescribable feeling of sadness filled my heart. I was a little happy again within two days, not completely happy but not sad.

I asked another friend if anyone ever talks bad about me and she said she didn't know of anyone that did. I asked if she did and told her I wanted the truth from her. She said "No. I have nothing bad to say about you". that made my day. Knowing people don't talk about me behind my back was a relief because I hear people talk bad about others all the time and I'm glad that they don't do that to me... But then my parents died and I'm touring with One Direction. There is an endless amount of hate. People say they love me but on twitter it is a whole different story.

I have isolated myself as much as possible, but if I could isolate myself more I would because these fans can be really mean and by the time I finish scrolling through what they send me..... I am in tears.

Everyone keeps saying things will be fine but I have this terrible feeling something is wrong. Emily isn't as happy when we talk and I know she is hiding something, I just don't know what. I have asked her if she is okay and if she is hiding something but she always says she is fine and I need to relax because everything is okay. Except, I know Emily better then anyone else. She use to be so happy when we talked after I first left, now she seems sad. Something's going on that she's not telling me.

Now, like always, I was sitting in the back of the bus. I sat crisscross on the couch in the corner, next to the plugin. My back rested on the arm rest. Headphones in my ears and plugged in my iPod. Music blasted threw my ears and I watched out the window. I couldn't get Emily out of my head. Neither could I keep Ty and Damien off my mind. I had to talk to someone. I may not talk a lot when I'm isolating myself from the world but sometimes, just sometimes I come out. If I'm in the right mood and I have a chance to talk to one person, and I mean a serious, meaningful conversation about what's going on, I'll take it.

I suddenly felt a presence in the room. I looked up to see Liam watching me. He was leaning against the frame of the door, arms crossed over his chest and a pained expression on his face. He uncrossed his arms and walked over to me. He sat down next to me or well... in front of me since I was sitting sideways on the couch. I looked away from him, back down at my hands resting in my lap. I grabbed my iPod from next to me. I turned off my music and took out my headphones. I looked up at Liam and saw he was a little shocked at what I did.