Scintillation ✓

Delirium

She craved his conversations,
no matter how meaningless,
because though they essential-
ly had not any meaning,
she gave them meaning and worth
by filling in the blanks that
were his feelings towards her.
It was what she did: she re-
membered the words he said to
her, the conversations they
had and the look in his eyes
whenever they settled on
her; and when she was alone
with nothing but her thoughts, she'd
let everything replay
in her mind over and o-
ver again. She would envi-
sion that he had feelings for
her just as she had for him.
In her two-o'clock-in-the-
morning delirium, when
the darkness of her room had
rolled over her, she would think
about him until her heart
was in pain and the entire-
ty of her being was ach-
ing with unexpressed emo-
tions. Her mind was filled with hope
and pessimism, with cer-
tainties and doubts; she was no
longer able to deci-
pher which was which as her head
had become a place where pa-
radoxes and contradic-
tions had burrowed themselves.