This Is Us But You Still Playing

Chapter 14: Eight Steps Back

A/N EVERYBODY THANK Loved2Read71 BECAUSE SHE WENT THROUGH DAMN NEAR THE ENTIRE AMA SET LIST TO GET YOU GUYS THIS CHAPTER SEVEN DAYS EARLY!!!... and y'all can say it all you want....Alyxx Dione and Dinah both look like Beyoncé..therefore they look like each other 😂.... So write a thank you and ENJOY!!❤❤

A few hours later, I found myself staring at the ceiling of the once familiar room. My buzz mostly gone and instead replaced with my ongoing thoughts as the partially naked blonde next to me was sound asleep as of a few minutes ago. I sighed heavily and leaned over to grab my phone from the bedside table.

3:14 am

I sighed again, shaking my head as I looked back at the ceiling. Not wanting to be in this room anymore, I slowly removed myself from next to her and grabbed my shirt off the floor. Since it was the only clothing I took off, I grabbed my cards, keys, and phone from the side table and made my way to the front door.

When I got outside, I closed my eyes for a few seconds letting the cool night summer breeze hit my upper body for a few seconds before I started towards my car, putting my shirt on in the process. As I walked, I thought more and more about what I had just done and I knew that with the depth my thoughts were going, I was borderline daydreaming as I walked. So, instead of driving, I called a cab since über drivers were scarce at this time of night.

With the cab company being around the corner, it took barely two minutes before the cab pulled up next to me.

"Long night?"

The older man asked once I was in the cab looking at me through the rearview mirror. I nodded and sighed leaning my head back.

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Where to?"

He said as he started towards the major streets. I told him the address of the recording studio as I pulled my phone out again and unlocked it. I stared at my home screen for a second getting lost in my thoughts for the umpteenth time in the last twenty minutes. Once I pulled myself out of my own head, I looked back at the clock to see it was just after 3:30.

Because of my whirling thoughts, slight buzz, and slight headache from my lack of sleep mixed with my dehydration via alcohol, I opened my notes not wanting to wait until I got to the studio to write down what was on my mind. Not even thinking about what I was typing, I let my fingers go as the words came to me.

Hell of a night, 3:32 wishing that I was there with you
I'm stuck in the cab, too hard to drive
Yeah, I'm just trying to survive
And I was thinking 'bout love, thinking 'bout us
Living the dream that we dreamt up
Now I was thinking 'bout life, thinking 'bout time
Thinking like I'm losing my mind

You got me singing like oh
Never gonna find another love like you like oh
I had another lover but she just won't do
So I can't take it, so come back home
Swear to God if you don't come back girl like oh
This will be the heartbreak heard around the world

Right as I typed the last word he stopped the car. I saved the note and paid the driver on the updated piece of technology in the back that took credit cards. Walking into the building and into the studio was all a haze as I was glued back to my phone to write the second verse of the song.

When I was finished, I went to borrow a spare laptop that was in the studio so I could record the song and make the beat. As I sat and listened to the mostly finished product of the song, my thoughts took over once again. Thoughts of longing morphing into those of regret. A regret I didn't think I would ever experience, even though I technically am in no wrong. The gnawing inside of me is slowly tearing me apart.