Dan loved his smile. That was probably his favorite thing about Phil Lester.
People could argue that it was odd and stupid, but Dan thought it was beautiful and amazing, just like Phil's personality. When they were together it was like someone was holding one of Dan's most prized possessions just inches away from his grasp, but he could never have it.
Phil would look over at him with his cheerful expression, Dan knew he could never have that face for his own.
Never have Phil for his own.
Never hold his hand or kiss his soft appearance.
Never have Phil smile at him and him alone.
It made Dan hate himself, he kept convincing himself it was all his fault that Phil would never be with him because of how ugly or awkward he was. All he had ever wanted was to be with Phil, and knowing that his stupidity was the only thing standing in the way of the life he had always wanted with the person he had always wanted to be with was driving him insane.
Before every video that the two of them did together, Dan would still get goosebumps at the thought that he got to sit next to Phil without it being awkward. But when Phil would do something cute or adorable, Dan would always supress the urge to kiss him right then and there. Dan just made random jokes to distract himself from the embodiment of cuteness sitting next to him.
Although Dan never noticed Phil staring at him whenever he looked away. Dan just pushed away any thought of Phil acually loving him, because how absurd would it be for Phil love him?
Author's note
This chapter was mostly just for back story and to get you all caught up on the situation. Modern Dan and Phil/ 2016. Living together and making videos. K?
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Smile {A Phanfiction}
FanfictionDan loved his smile. That was probably his favorite thing about Phil Lester. Although he kept on smiling, Phil was torn on the inside. Although he kept on smiling, sadness washed over him. He kept on smiling, for Dan. Dan has always loved Phil, bu...
