Smile {A Phanfiction}

Smile (chapter nineteen)

Phil

I was in a complete state of shock when Dan had ended our argument (very abruptly as well). And the way he just went right past me and persisted out of the room made me feel really bad. I knew that going on the date with Victoria wasn't the best decision in Dan's favour, but you know what? Not all the decisions I make in life have to be beneficial for Dan. I wanted to go on a date with someone and I did so because I wanted to. 

The door to Dan's room slammed shut behind him and I was left alone in the lounge. I had no idea what to make of the situation or how to go on with it. Was I supposed to ask if he was okay? Keep the conversation going? Or was I just supposed to go on, knowing that we wouldn't be talking for a long period of time.

Probably that last option.

So, instead of chasing after Dan, I just stood there. And thought.

Dan 

Hadn't he noticed yet? Hadn't he noticed that the root of all our problems was miscommunication? He never tells me anything! This entire series of dumb events and drama have sprouted because of us not talking to each other, like it would have been sort of helpful with a few quick updates now and again,

Where are you going?

Oh, just on my way to meet with someone that I met online. They seem like the kind of person I'd like to start a relationship with.

That kind of bothers me.

Completely understandable. But why does it bother you?

We don't spend much time together as it is and I love you and I'd like if you were in a relationship with me and not just some random person you found on a dating website.

Those are good reasons. I love you too, do you want to start dating?

Yes.

Why couldn't it ever be that simple?

I'm not saying he should stop dating these people (although that is what I am strongly implying and hope for very much) but maybe he could just tell me where he's going and what he's doing...Instead of fucking lying to me all the time.

That pisses me off the most, even more than the whole dating thing, the fact that he's lying to me. Why does he feel the need to lie to me like he's doing? 

Because he doesn't think you're trustworthy.
Because he knows you'll just freak out and overreact.

Is being worried for the future of your friendship with the person you care about most in this world overreacting?

Phil

Despite all the confusion going on, I still had to upload this week. It was so weird, pretending that everything was fine while on camera, but going back to a state of panic after I upload. We hadn't put up a gaming video in forever. If Dan and I could barely stay in the same room for more than 5 minutes, I doubted that we could have filmed a 10-15 minute video for the gaming channel.

But I still turned on the camera and told the world about how I somehow managed to kill all my houseplants while Dan and I were on the road for the tour. It was a simpler  time, before everything started to go downhill between us somehow. I was also trying not to be to loud because I knew Dan could hear me from the other room, and I felt awkward, especially after our intense argument.

Dan

I was sulking about in my room, I heard Phil's voice through the wall, and I caught my attention. Sometimes I forgot we were still YouTubers and had to make videos for an income and a career. Really I should be used to when Phil makes a video, but I still get goosebumps thinking that it's like I'm watching the behind the scenes of my favorite YouTuber's videos. Sometimes, I would just sit quietly in my room or in the hall just listening to all Phil had to say. I also loved when he asked me to help him film or come in for a scene.

He never does that anymore that anymore though, ask me to help. But I think that's just because of this rough patch that we're going through. Although it's a little less like a rough patch and a bit more like a long road paved with sandpaper.

"Hey guys!" I listened to him say it like 6 times before he decided on the perfect amount of excitement to use in his intro. It kind of made me forget the current situation, by listening to his voice making a mundane video was relaxing.

I listened for the entirety of his filming process until I heard him leave his room. And I snapped back into reality.

Author's note
I realize that I never make notes but, this chapter is a bit shorter and I felt like I should acknowledge that. Longer and better chapters on the way though.