Loving You (A Josh Hutcherson FanFiction)

Part 13

"Chemotherapy and ovary removal give you the highest chances of survival," Dr. Peterson says. "Although, with ovary removal you will not be able to conceive children. If the cancer is still there we would look into radioactive treatment."

"What do I need to sign?" I ask.

It takes me a few hours to read over everything and sign it.

I have one week, then I'll be a hairless, radioactive rat for God knows how long. No children either. I'm sure we can adopt at some point maybe, but it's not the same.

When I arrive home I run inside and jump onto Josh. Let's have it while we can-

***

"No kids?"

I nod, "Nope... I understand if you don't want me, I'm nothing but trouble."

He kisses me, "I need you, I love you. I'm here for you, always." 

"Josh, I'm scared," I whisper.

"It's okay to be scared, but I'm here. I won't leave you for a second.

***

Getting my head shaved, was an entire new kind of awful, which led me to break down in a fit of rage and tears. The only comfort I can find is in Josh, when I'm wrapped in his strong arms. It's where I feel safe.

***

I'm hooked up to machines monitoring everything. I'm getting what makes me a woman, removed today. I have a mask on with some kind of drug in it, the last thing I remember is how my body goes numb.

"Maddie, can you here me?"

"I'm so proud of you, honey."

I barely can make out Josh in the haze.

"I'm scared."

With me saying that simple sentence, Josh sat beside me on the bed and kisses my forehead. I feel weird, sick almost, then I remember that I also started chemo today. I put my hand in Josh's as I fall asleep.

When I come to, I feel sick. I throw up all over the bed, Josh is holding me while calling a nurse in. I gag up everything that's left in me. I begin to cry as blood starts to come up with every cough. As I'm trembling, Josh holds me close to him. He gets tangled up in my wires, but he doesn't care. The only thing he cares about is me... I will never deserve this man.

****Johs's POV****

No kids. I don't know if it's wrong that that is what hit me the hardest. No little foot prints in the mud in the backyard, no little silver wear, no tiny little outfits and shoes. Nothing. Then there is the problem that stands in front me. More like, dying in front of me. The doctor told Maddie most of it, axcept for how fast it's spreading, how she is responding to treatment, her percentage of living. Nothing is good.

She has a 15 pecent chance of survival, he said that she has a few weeks left at the most. With barely a response to chemo, the radioactive treatment will be useless to even try. Our only hope is that they got it out with the ovaries and it isn't in her blood or bone marrow. I pray to God that it's gone, but all my hope is fading away as watch her. She only takes a breath every few seconds, when she does they're sudden and deep. The only time she is awake is to throw up whatever nutrients is left her fragile body, then she is back to sleep.

I try to make myself accept that she isn't going to make it, but I know her. She is a fighter and she can't just go and be defeated without putting up a fight. But there is a catch with this battle, she can't fight. She isn't able to fight. Maddie, the beautiful woman I have come to grow close to. The woman I love, is leaving. And I sure as hell can't live without her.