Forbidden Dawn

Chapter Four

                                                           Chapter Four

                                                         Ode to the Past

                                            “The things I freely give, you stole

                                                   And now I'm left in pieces”

                                                  Ode to…-Rachel Yamagata

        I walked ahead of Rosalie knowing that when she was ready she would catch up. I was trying- unsuccessfully- to clear my head of any thoughts of home and the past. Demetra and I were so close we were more like sisters even though she was centuries older than me we always just connected with each other. When I ran away that night it was the hardest decision I had to make because I knew that she couldn’t leave with me.

        “Are you okay” Rosalie asked hesitantly as she sidled up alongside me and I nodded quickly. “Yeah, thanks for asking” I smiled over at her ,she nodded and we went back to silently walking.

    “I don’t hate you, you know” she said without warning and I glanced at her from the corner of my eye she kept her gaze focused straight. “I did not think you did” I replied just as nonchalantly as she had and she gave me a sharp look. I smiled despite my best efforts and nodded in agreement “Okay, well maybe at first I thought you did, but I think I am starting to understand you Rosalie”.

   “Is that so?” she asked with a perfectly arched blonde eyebrow raised up delicately, she sounded mocking although her face was anything but, she seemed almost sad or remorseful. “I find it hard that you think you know me when in reality you have never even heard my story, don’t you think?” I once again nodded in agreement and she sighed before we came to a run-down cottage that looked as if once a long time ago it was beautiful and charming. We sat on a fallen tree trunk and she started to tell me about her past, something that would change our relationship forever.

                                                                          ****~****

     “It was 1933. I was 18 and beautiful. My life was perfect. I had two younger brothers, my mother was a housewife, and my father a banker. We were able to maintain a wealthy status despite the Great Depression due to my father’s profession. My parents always praised me for my beauty, men adored me, and all of my girlfriends envied me, I loved it. However this did cause me to be self-absorbed, shallow, and materialistic.

      Then one day my mother sent me to take father his lunch which he oddly enough forgot that day. Of course I happened to run into the bank owners son, Royce King II; he was handsome, charming, and extremely rich, what more could I ask for. How naïve I was  back then.

        I went to visit my good friend Vera one night a mere week or two from my wedding date. She had the cutest baby boy named Henry, the one thing I ever envied one of my friends for: a baby. I always wanted to be a mother, have a child of my own to love and raise. Another thing that caused me distress that night was when Vera’s husband arrived home and I saw the love they shared between each other, and I realized that, that was something me and Royce did not have. Truthfully, that was the first time I had realized that, maybe I needed more than material things in a marriage.

        Although, those thoughts and all others were put on hold when I ran into my drunk fiancé and his group of equally drunk friends. I should have realized that something was not right, that things were not going to end well for me that night. Royce was going on and on about my beauty, and how it could not compare to any woman in the world. I felt that unease, maybe my natural instincts kicking in, but it was too late and all I could do was scream as Royce started ripping my clothes off and he and his gang raped and beat me.

        After when it was all done, I knew I was dying, but I was okay with that because I didn’t want to suffer anymore I hurt everywhere. Then, as I lay bleeding out in the gutter where they dumped me after they used my body, I saw a blonde man staring down at me. The next thing I know the pain has intensified and I thought I surely must be in hell. Soon, though my vision cleared and I woke up as this, a vampire, never changing, never dying, I was to live forever.

        I was furious especially when I realized that Carlisle intended for me to be a mate to Edward, and the fact that he had refused me. As vain as it sounds I was never told no or refused by any man before in my life and he did wound my ego. Now, I assure you I did not, nor have I ever had any romantic feelings for Edward.

        Following the days after my ‘rebirth’ I slowly hunted down my attackers, and saved Royce for last I tortured him and then finally killed him. Though I was careful not to drink any of their blood, for I did not want any part of them within me again. In all honesty I have never tasted human blood in all of my existence, something I am very proud of.”

                                                                     *****~*****

        “Oh, Rosalie I am so very sorry that happened to you” I said quietly after a few minutes and she smiled sadly looking away. “That was another lifetime, another world really” was all she said in response and we lapsed back into silence.

        “Everything got better once I met Emmett, but it still doesn’t take away from the fact that there are things I crave that I will never be able to have.” Rosalie said then looked over at me, with a wistful look “I envy you, Bella”. I stared at her for a few seconds before I was able to recover from the shock. What in the world would she have to envy me for? I had an absolute mess going on in my life just a few months ago, an insane ex-fiancé hell bent on my obedience, parents who would sooner see me dead, and not to mention the fact that she was extraordinarily beautiful, had a wonderful husband and a beautiful family.

        “Rosalie, I don’t understand why you would feel that way, my life-” she cut me off with an amused laugh and a shake of her head. “I do not care about your life, Bella. I am envious of the fact that you can still have what I cannot, your body still changes, and therefore you can have children.” I nodded slowly as I wrapped my arms around myself tightly.

                                        “That’s what it always comes down to, isn’t it?”