Stonehearts 3: Aquamarine

Thirty Three

"Saan mo nakuha ito?" Daddy asked while holding Brinx's notebook. I was still trembling with my tears, Papa cradling me, "Binigay sa akin ni Karen bago ako umalis." Panay hikbi na tugon ko.

Inilipat-lipat niya ang mga pahina noon, probably skimming through the pages. "Have you read all anak ko?" Daddy Piero asked again, I shook my head. Wala na akong lakas basahin pa ang mga sumusunod na laman.

"Do you want me to read it for you?" He asked again. Binaon ko ang mukha ko sa dibdib ni Papa bago ako tumango. I heard Papa consoling me in Italian before Daddy Piero started reading Brinx's journal.

"I saw her again for the first time after four agonizing years. And my heart reacted the same way it did from years ago. The fluttering, the rapid breathing, the palm sweating, everything. It was all the same.

But she's changed.She changed a lot.

She had dyed her hair blue, cut it short too. She started wearing heels. She learned a new accent. Too many, it's too many if I list it all here. But you know what didn't change? Her heart melting smile. That's all it took for me to realize that she was in fact my Rina, she's still my Rina.

I waited for her to greet me personally, but she didn't. Hinintay kong mapansin niya ako, pero mukhang kasama sa pag-alis niya ang kalimutan ako."

Daddy stopped reading before raising his gaze to me. Nakaakap pa rin sa akin si Papa pero hindi ko na tinatago ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya.

"He had told me some of those lines, face-to-face. Sinabi niya sa akin ang lahat ng 'yan..." Mahinang tugon ko. Remembering the time when were still inspecting the land for the hacienda. "I was still so mad at him then na binalewala ko lang, ngayon....Daddy.." Nagsimula nanaman akong mapahikbi at mapaiyak.

"Stop crying bella.." Papa said while rocking me. How can I stop crying if now I realize that the man I let go was the man who had loved me all these years?

The man who sacrificed his happiness for me.

The man who did everything just so I could have all the good things in life.

The man who loved me with all he got.

Inilipat ni daddy pabalik sa mga pahinang alam kong wala ako sa Pilipinas. Ang dami-daming naisulat ni Brinx, lahat ata ng hindi niya nasabi sa akin laman ng notebook na 'yun at nagsisisi ako kung bakit ngayon ko lang nabasa.

"Hi baby, ngayon may idinala akong sanggol sa bahay ampunan. He's a baby boy, iniwan sa harap ng gate namin. Naalala ko tuloy ang kwento mo, on how you ended up in the orphanage. Nalungkot ako para sa bata, I never intended of surrendering him to Sister Meridith, gusto ko sana siyang kupkupin. Pero natakot ako, baka kasi hindi ako maging isang mabuting ama sa kanya. I don't know how to raise a child but I don't want him to be an orphan either.

So before I gave him to Sister Meridith, I promised one thing to the baby; that we're going to adopt him as soon as we're back together. He'll be our very first baby! Alam kong hindi mo ako bibiguin baby, babalik ka sa akin diba? May baby na tayo, hindi mo pa alam pero soon malalaman mo rin.

I named him Marioni Brixton. I got some letters of your name and my name. Ayos ba baby? Uwi ka na ha? Para mameet ka na rin ng anak natin. Mahal na mahal kita Rina, sana umuwi ka na."

Napahawak ako sa tiyan ko. May baby na talaga tayo Brinx. We're really going to have a baby! But we can still adopt Brixton, he can be the panganay tapos itong anak natin ngayon.

Mas lalo akong naiyak ng naalala ko na sa panaginip na lang kami pwede ni Brinx. Pinagtulakan ko siya sa ibang babae diba? Ginusto ko ito.

Daddy again turned the pages, picking another random date. But it doesn't help, with every word, with every sentence I am realizing how stupid I am on deciding of letting him go, on how wrong I was to put all the blame on him, when all he did was to love me unconditionally.

"Baby can I tell you a secret? I regularly buy the cologne you use because the smell reminds me of you. Nababawasan kahit kaonti ang pagkamiss ko sa iyo.

Three years , eight months, two weeks, and four days.

Ang tagal-tagal na baby, minsan natatakot ako na baka 'pagnagkita tayo may iba ka na. Iniisip ko palang nababasag na ang puso ko. Hindi ko kakayanin Rina, hindi ko kayang makita kang masaya sa iba.

Naaalala mo pa ba 'yung kanta natin? Kung gaano ka kinilig nung hinarana kita dahil badtrip na badtrip ka sa akin? Saka kita binilhan ng maraming Chicharong Bulaklak para tuluyan na akong maabswelto. Ang liit nga lang ng pinag-awayan natin noon, ayaw mo lang na ipakilala kita sa mga barkada ko dahil nahihiya ka. Tatlong araw mo akong hindi kinausap, akala ko mamamatay na ako. Nakakatawa baby diba? Ngayon taon na ang binibilang ko, taon na nangungulila ang puso ko sa iyo."

I can still hear the flapping of the pages until it stopped. Nakita kong isara na ni Daddy ang journal ni Brinx. "Pack your things Aqui Marina, we're going back to the Philippines." He firmly said. Napataas ako ng tingin sa kanya, yung namamaga kong mata hindi makapaniwala sa mga sinabi ni Daddy.

"Daddy...h-he's married." Married by now I guess. The thought of him with Tasha is my ultimate nightmare. Natatakot ako na kapag ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko, 'yun ang mapapaniginipan ko.

I saw Daddy pursing his lips, "Not now, he isn't. If I need to use the damn partnership against them I will do it. I only have one daughter and I promised to our God above that I will do anything just to see her smile. And if I have to play unfair just so I could spoil my princess, I will do it in a blink. Now go pack your things principessa, we are going to get Brinx back."

"M-mahal niya pa kay-ya ako Da-dddy?" I asked, not able to match his enthusiasm. Paano kung hindi na? Paano kung natutunan na niyang mahalin si Natasha? Paano kung nakalimutan na niya ako?

"We will make sure he still does figlia. Now listen to your daddy and pack your things. We'll be leaving tonight." Papa said in finality, supporting Daddy's decision.