Stonehearts 3: Aquamarine

Thirty Six

           

Napatingin ako sa batang apat na taon na ngayon. Our baby, our very first baby. He now resembles Brinx's face kahit hindi sila magkaano-ano. Napahimas ako sa tiyan ko, itong isa naming baby, sino kaya ang magiging kamukha?

Brinx squatted in front of Brixton rubbing his shoulders. "Why don't you go and play with the others muna anak. Susunod si daddy sa iyo." The kid smirked at him all teeth before rushing away.

Matagal siyang nakatingin kung saan naglaho si Brixton, bago siya dahan-dahang lumingon sa akin. Nakaupo pa rin ako sa kama ko, nakahawak ng mahigpit sa pekeng bulaklak na natagpuan ko doon. His eyes landed again on my tummy, my hand mindlessly caressed it all the while wary of his stare.

"R-rin-na." He stuttered.

Gusto kong umasa na ako pa rin ang dahilan kaya siya nandito at kaya siya may dalang bulaklak. Pero mas nanalo ang parte ng utak ko na nagsusumigaw na baka inampon na niya ng tuluyan si Brixton at silang dalawa na ni Natasha ang magulang niya.

But when I studied his fingers, there's no ring on it. A spark of hope flooded my system. Baka lang, baka lang di pa sila kasal.

O baka naman tinanggal niya lang, nagtanong din si Brixton kanina kung pupunta sila sa 'mommy' niya. He never called me his mommy when we first met. My heart constricted when the thought of Tasha being his mother invaded my mind.

Brixton is my baby. He's our first baby. Pero sinayang ko lahat 'yun nang pinagtabuyan ko si Brinx 'diba?

"Inampon mo na si Brixton?" Lakas loob kong tanong.

Napatingin ulit siya sa gawi kung saan tumakbo ang bata. Gusto kong malaman kung ano ang iniisip niya, parang ang lalim kasi at napakataimtim.

He sighed before he stood up and setting the bouquet next to the withering one then he sat beside me. I know he was looking at me but I didn't have the guts to do the same. "Ilang buwan na 'yang tiyan mo?" He quietly asked.

I tried peeking at him under my lashes. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang sabihin sa kanya ang totoo. Paano kung bigla na lang siyang umalis? Paano kung sabihin niya na hindi niya kayang panindigan ang bata dahil may asawa na siya? Paano na 'yung pag-asang namumuo sa puso ko? Paano na ako?

"Four? Five?" He guessed when I opted to be silent. I thought I heard hope in his voice. Baka sakaling masaya siya nang napagtanto niya na sa kanya itong dinadala ko.

I caressed my tummy while I listen to our deep breathing, to my rapid heart, my racing pulse, my gushing blood flow.

May malaking pagitan sa aming dalawa at wala akong ibang gustong gawin kundi sakupin iyon para malapitan ko siya.

"Rina..sagutin mo naman ako.."

"Ano bang gusto mong sabihin ko?" Bulong ko sa kanya, nakayuko at nakatitig sa sapatos namin dalawa.

Humugot nanaman siya ng malalim na hininga, sa tuwing ginagawa niya 'yun tumataas lang mas lalo ang kaba ko.

"Natanggap mo ba 'yung pinabigay ko kay Karen?" I snapped my head up and I was met by his gorgeous black eyes that are glistening with a blanket of unshed tears.

I nodded my head, I can feel my own eyes stinging too.

"Binasa mo?"

I wanted to pull him to me and hug him tight. Bumawi ako ng tingin at napapikit, naaapektuhan na rin ng tensyon ang tiyan ko. I heard him sighing again. Are you regretting why you gave it to me? Nagsisisi ka ba na naipaalam mo sa akin lahat? Gugustuhin mo ban a sana hindi ko na lang nalaman ang lahat?

Naghihintay ako ng susunod na itatanong niya pero wala na. So I gambled all my courage in. "Kas-sal ka n-na raw.." Hikbing tanong ko. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

He anxiously jerked his head to face me when he heard me sniffing. "What? Sshh, please stop crying.." He pleaded and in one swift moment, he was already hugging me.

Napakapit ako sa kanya ng mahigpit. This is all I wanted to feel, his warmth, his touch.

"Ka-sal k-ka na nga.." Ulit ko, 'yung puso ko unti unti ng nadudurog. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko pa nahugot ang tonong mapamintang.

"No, Rina, Rina. I'm not married. Kanino mo nakuha ang balitang yan?" Una naisip ko nab aka niloloko niya lang ako. But this is Brinx. This is my Brinx and in the long span of our relationship, hindi niya ginawang joke ang mga ganitong bagay.

"Kil-la F-fritz. Sabi ni-la nu'n ikak-kasal na r-raw kayo ni Tasha." Parang batang sumbong ko. His eyebrows creased before he kissed my forehead.

"What? No! Hindi ako pumayag doon! Si mommy lang naman ang may gusto nu'n at hindi ako. The news may circulated some tongues but no, hindi ako kasal. Alam mo namang maghihintay lang ako sa altar kung alam kong ikaw ang makikita kong papunta sa akin."

Gustong sumabog ng dibdib ko sa mga sinabi niya. Hindi ako nakasagot, umiiyak lang ako sa harap niya habang hawak niya ang magkabilang kamay ko.

Inilabas niya ang panyo niya at nagsimulang punasan ang luha ko. "Sino 'yung mommy na sinasabi ni Brixton?" Tanong ko ng nakayuko. Hindi ko kasi kayang titigan siya sa mata.

Binitiwan niya ang isang kamay ko bago may inabot sa bulsa niya. Nalinawan ako ng inilagay niya iyon sa palad ko.

Dalawang plane tickets, plane tickets going to Italy.

Napataas ako ng tingin sa kanya, siya naman nakatitig lang sa tickets na hawak ko. "I was going to fly to Italy tonight Rina, naunahan mo lang ako. Sorry, natagalan kasi ako sa pagproseso ng adoption papers ni Brixton. But I did plan of going to Italy and winning you back. This time I'm bringing our son with me, 10% for the audience impact."

"Brinx...I'm sorry..." I bawled on his shoulder. He was stroking my back in attempt to console me. I detached from our hug when I heard him sniffing, I found tears on his eyes and cheeks too.

"Baby..baby, wag kang magsorry dahil para sa iyo lahat ng iyon.. Please stop crying.."

"I'm sorry...I love you. I love you so much Brinx.. I love you." Paulit ulit kong hikbi sabay akap sa kanya.

"I love you too Rina, so much. Please stop crying..Always remember that I would gladly experience the same heartache if it's still you in the end, if it's still us in the end."

I sniffed cried when I heard what he said. I nodded my head, ultimately happy. Sa sobrang saya ko umaawas na ata. Muli niyang kinapa ang bulsa niya bago niya pinakita ang isang singsing na may malaking diyamante sa gitna. "So will you wear this?" He asked playfully.

I laughed, my tears slightly choking me. Inabot ko sa kanya ang kamay ko at dali-dali naman niyang isinuot 'yun. He even got the size of my finger right. "I would definitely wear it since I have a baby on the way that's dying to meet his daddy."

A gorgeous smile split his face into two before kissing me, healing all wounds, closing all scars, fading all marks. It was the kiss that I was waiting for for so long. He's the one I was waiting for so long. "Good thing, because I also have a son who's dreading to meet his mommy."