Will We Ever See the End? (Fransykes)

Divided We'll Fall

************trigger warning*******

"Hey Oliver! Get up! I wanna hang out today! It's our day off!" I heard Josh calling as he steeped onto the bus.

Oh no..... Josh o.o

"Uhhh yeah! I'll be up in a second!" I yelled back to him hoping he wouldn't open my curtain.

I kept my cries down and started stroking harder until I came with one quiet and muffled moan.  I wipped my hand with some tissue and quickly got on my tight boxers, jumping out of my bunk. Then I heard Josh whistle loudly.

"Oli we all know your sexy but would you go put on a shirt! Tattoo's don't count, mate" Josh Joked grinning at me like a loon.

"Y-Yeah, alright" I stuttered turning and grabbing some clothes so he couldn't see the blush breaking out on my face. I quickly pulled on my skinny jeans and my shoes grabbing a short sleave drop dead tee, not even bothering to mess with my hair or to put on a jacket

"So where are we going?" I asked him as I walked out of the bus behind him.

"Hmm lets go get pizza!" he said smiling excitedly.

"Heh, alright" I said looking at him, ughhh he was so cute when he smiled.

"I'll call for a cab" he said pulling out his phone and searching for the number on google.

Ten minutes later we were in a cab and on our way to a pizza place the taxi driver had suggested called Mountain Mikes. We slowly pulled up in front and I payed the driver and I gave him a tip for being so nice; then we walked inside of the white building.

"What do you want then, Oli?" Josh asked poking me in the side and making me giggle.

"I dunno, you choose" I smiled at him

"Uhhh can we get a large three cheese pizza with peperoni, sausage, and bacon with white sauce instead of red" he said aproaching the blonde girl at the dark blue counter that the cash register was placed on.

"Sure! Your total is $15.30 and your number is 47" she said handing him a plastic card with a large black italic number 47 on it.

Josh handed her the money, smiling at her in a friendly manner.

"Well, Here you go cutie." the girl said handing Josh a recipt.

He walked over to me quickly and dragged me over to a table. We sat down there, placing the number near the edge of the booth.

"Oli, I'm scared." he said in a serious tone.

"Why? Of what?" I asked concerned and confused.

"Of that girl!! Did you see her!? She was practically undressing me with her eyes!!" He yelled a little louder than necessary and I just busted out laughing, I wouldn't mind undressing him.. but not with my eyes. c; oh dear lord I need to stop... I mean that's how this whole proublem started, isn't it?

"Well I'm glad you think its funny!!" He said crossing his arms and pouting, leaning back against the bright red cushion.

"Awww Joshi! Don't be all sad I didn't mean it!" I said putting my hands up defensively still laughing my ass off at his adorable attempt at neing butt hurt.

I heard Josh gasp, and I immediately looked up to see that his face was pale and he looked shocked.

"What's wrong Josh?" I said putting my arms down and letting the worry come through in my voice.

"Oli...y-your wrists" Josh said as tears rose in his eyes and threatened to spill.

"Josh.. don't cry, I'm okay.. see, I'm fine." I said and smiled sadly at him, while I silently cursed at myself for forgetting to wear a jacket or at least long sleaves.

I got up and went around the table to Josh, wrapping my arms around his waist and he rested his hand on mine. I leaned my head on his shoulder, placing a chast hiss on his cheek.

"Please Oliver, please stop doing this to yourself..." he sobbed "I-I Love you and I don't want to lose you.."

I just pulled him closer hoping he wouldnt make me promise... I didn't want to have to lie to him. But I couldn't stop; I wouldn't. It was what I deserved. Josh pulled away and I dropped my arms from around his waist.

"Please stop this Oli, I dont want to loose you. Not now, not ever" he said with tears streaking down his face, brining his hand up to stroke my jawline carefully; as If I would break away and leave him in an instant.

"You won't lose me Joshi" I mumbled. That was the most I could promise him, that I wouldn't leave him. Mostly Because it was the truth, I couldn't leave him without losing myself.

"Promise me" he whispered, resting his head on my shoulder.

"W-What?" Was all I could say, even though I knew what he wanted to hear. That I would never do it again, that I would be okay.

"Promise me you'll stop, that I won't lose you and that in time... you'll be mine again" he said, trying to dry his tears just to have more streaming down his face in an instant.

"I'm sorry.. I-I can't promise you that Josh... but I can promise you that you won't lose me and that I will always be yours." I told him, hoping that it would do something to console him.

"Oli.. please.." He he begged, staring hoplessly into my eyes. We were causing a slight scene and those around us had started to send us startled glances. But I was far from caring, we needed to talk and get our points across.

"Okay.. I'll try, love" I said wiping his tears away with my thumbs. I looked deep into his beautiful deep sea blue coloured eyes just as I had done so many times befire, and I guess I just got too caught up in the moment when I leaned his head up and pushed our lips together.

"O-Oli.. no" he said pushing me away slightly.

In that one second my heart shattered all over again. He rejected me, and the worst part was that I knew I deserved it. I knew what I had done was unforgivable. Yet it still hurt so fucking bad. There it was yet again; him proving that he could never forgive me. I didn't deserve forgiveness after what I did.... he would never want me as much as I wanted him.. and worst of it all its my fault.

I got up slowly backed away from Josh.. I could see his lips moving but I couldn't hear the words he was saying.. everything was going wrong. So I did what I always did when things got to bad,

I ran.

I ran back to the bus as fast as I could, not even knowing how I found my way back. I stumbled on to the bus my lungs burning, my body trembling and shaking from sobbing so hard. I ran straight to the bathroom and pulled out my razor black plastic razor. I sat down and pulled down my pants. I wiped my tears and put the razor to my thigh. I pulled it across my thigh and gasped as my leg started oozing blood. So much blood.. but not enough, It's never enough to make up for what I've done.. for how much I hate myself for how fucking discusting I am. So I dragged it across again and again, letting the blood flow and my mind wander to the poor boy I hurt

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Hey guys, sorry for taking so long. I promise ill update more often! You guys are amazing! Dont forget to add to your library, vote, and comment! I want to hear from you guys!! Thanks so much! I would also like to personally thank PSYCHIC_KILLER! you are amazing and this chapter is for you, sweetie.

~Disasteroligy