Into The Unknown

13

Raegan's POV

After my little fantasy the other night, I've kept my distance from Chris. He doesn't seem to mind it that much but I feel like something is really wrong with him lately. He hasn't been writing, or drawing, or singing in the past week and I can only wonder what is going on in his head.

It's summer now and Henry is gone away to camp for the next two months. That leaves Chris and I in the house together all summer. I want Chris to open up to me but the fight he has within himself is something deeper than what I see on the surface.

As I drink my coffee, I noticed Chris's figure pass my own. His steps were lighter than usual and his breathing was heavier than I have ever heard. He grabbed a cup from the top cabinet when I noticed his face was thinning. I walked over to his side and attempted to raise his spirits.

"Good morning, Sunshine!" I giggled.

Chris looked down at the countertop and clenched his jaw. I backed away slowly when I noticed the scars and bruises on his arms. I covered my mouth in disbelief and he made his way back up the cherry-wooden stairs. My mind was focused on the cuts and bruises that were now stamped on his arms as if they were supposed to be there. I looked down at the tiled floor when I saw the drops of blood leading to his room. I cleaned up the blood with a white towel before tears began to form in my eyes. I walked up the stairs slowly and grabbed his doorknob before taking a deep breath. I turned the knob and walked into the pitch-black room. Chris was over in the corner with his legs crossed in front of him. I slowly made my way over to him and sat next to him.

My hand touched his thigh and I noticed the razor blade that was gripped between his fingers. I didn't move but my eyes were glued on the blade until it touched his skin. I couldn't stand to watch it. His cries were silent. The tears flowed down his face at the speed of light but no sound filled the room. I placed my hand in his and took the blade between my index finger and thumb.

"Look at me Chris." I spoke quickly. His eyes stayed glued to the wall in front of him and I turned his head towards my own. His eyes were no longer the same. They stared into mine but his soul was so far away that the piercing effect they had before no longer existed. His soul was gone from his body and my heart sank when I noticed the bloody handprint on the wall behind him. I stood up and pulled his body onto the bed. His body was limp and I lay down on the bed and his head gently set on my chest and I ran my fingers through his bronze curls.

My heart was sinking as I watch him sink into this. I watched him go through this all week but I never noticed it until now. It's been a week of his hurting and I'm just now noticing it. This is when I realized that my mind is not one of someone who is capable of caring for someone else. I'm selfish and I've only been thinking about what I wanted in this and not what he wanted. Chris begs for help through his actions and word he speaks. His only outlet is his art but that can only take him so far.

"Ugh" he groaned as turned in the bed. I rubbed his back and his groans soon faded into light snores. I sat up on the bed and turned on the television to a documentary about plants and animals until my eyes slowly dropped into a deep sleep.

*Three Hours Later*

Chris began to toss and turn in his sleep, waking me from my own. I began to rub Christopher's head while he groaned in sleep. I grabbed up his body and rocked him slowly while I planted light kisses on his forehead. This is a pain I have never seen before. My phone began to ring and I saw Michael's toothy grin light up my screen.

"Hey, Ty." I smiled and tapped the speaker phone option.

"Hey, Rae. What are you doing?" he laughed.

I looked over at Chris's torn body and cleared my throat.

"Are you with that creepy dude again? What's his name? Chris right?" he chuckled.

"He's not creepy, Michael. Just broken." I spoke caressing his face.

"You're falling for him aren't you?"

"Maybe. A little. I don't know. I guess." I mumbled rubbing my face.

"So this guy just walks in your life, gets shot and you love him?" Ty snapped.

"Maybe I need to get shot too." He chuckled.

"Ty, I don't want to argue about this right now. Where is your girlfriend and your baby? Go take care of them." I sighed.

"When are you going to see that I love you Raegan?"

"When are you going to see that you are my best friend, my brother, and nothing more? Ty, I love you just not in the way that you love me." I whispered.

"Yeah, I understand I just keep hoping one day you will." He spoke lowly.

"I'm sorry, Michael. I love you. You know that. I'll call you later okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. See you later, Raegan. Make sure you take your medicine."

With that, I hung up the phone. I turned to see Chris's back turned to me as he slept. I sighed to myself and turned over to head back to sleep. No matter how long it takes, I will stay right here next to him until this phase of his life is over.

To be continued...