Into The Unknown

13.3

(Raegan's Conversation)

Raegan's POV

I walked in on Chris and his little "song" but my mind wasn't focused on whatever he was saying. The blood on the wall was still smeared in the light because I couldn't get it out. The only way to change it was to paint the walls again. I sighed and sat down on the bed next to Chris. I gently took my hand and closed the book he was so deeply focused on. His eyes shifted towards me and I was a little shocked at the expression he held. The look in his eyes was frightening. It was almost like he had given up on his life but I was going to ask him what the issue was.

"Chris?" I leaned closer to him.

"Hmm?" he answered softly.

"Talk to me. I really want to know what's going on with you," I said while gritting my teeth. Talking to him wasn't the problem. His response was the scary part.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm just having a bad day." he explained looking away from me.

"A bad day huh?"

"Yeah."

"Chris, you've been locked away in this room for almost two weeks. The shower you took today was the first one you've taken in almost two weeks and you're having a bad day? This isn't just a bad day. What is wrong with you Christopher?" I spoke quickly, running out of breath.

"I'm cool." he mumbled lowly.

I looked around the room gathering my thoughts before I said anything else to him. I knew this wouldn't be the time for my whole evil girl persona to come out so I contemplated everything I wanted and needed to express to him.

"You know, my life has always been weird. My parents had a lot of money and I always got what I wanted from everybody. I asked and I definitely received. I think that might be the problem I'm having with you right now. I'm asking, practically begging, but you won't give me what I want, you know?" I spat my thoughts out to him in a gently manner and looked over to him slowly. After he didn't respond, I turned my head back down to my blue colored finger nail and picked at it nervously.

"You know, seeing you like that, all hopeless and helpless, was really hard for me. And I think I'm mad at myself for not realizing it sooner. I was being selfish and I thought all this time you were mad at me about what happened that day I burned the dinner. Or that you didn't think I was attractive but I was still being selfish me. I don't mean to be that way but I guess getting what you want all your life makes you that way" I explained to him.

"Anyway, I just couldn't stand seeing you like that. Covered in those scars and not moving. You were so still, almost as if you weren't living and it scared me. I couldn't leave you here by yourself because I was scared. I had restless nights because I thought maybe one day I'd wake up and instead of your wrists and arms..." I trailed off trying to clear the lump in throat.

"Maybe I'm too caught up in whatever it is I feel, but seeing you like that is something I don't want to see ever again. Do you know what it was like to watch you do that to yourself? And you did it like you didn't even see me sitting there but you did it anyway. You cut yourself right in front of my eyes. You were so lifeless, Christopher. So now, I'm begging you. Please tell me what's going on in your head. I want to help you." I exclaimed through my sobs.

"You don't even know how hard I cried right here on this floor," I said pointing to the floor, "cleaning up the mess I watch you make because I didn't have the courage to stop you from this. I'm not what I think I am obviously. You've broken me like no one else has." I cried, looking away to the door.

Chris shifted his weight on the bed and put his notebook between the mattresses. I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt and sniffed. I looked at Chris andhe rubbed his scars furiously and began to pant.

"Stop, Chris." I said grabbing his hands. They weren't coming off. He looked up to me and I saw the pain flowing through his eyes. My heart shattered and I quickly looked away because I knew the tears were pouring out of my eyes again. I reached up and ran my fingers through his tight bronze curls and whispered to him softly.

"Tell me"

He opened his mouth to talk and I braced myself for what was about to come...

Chris's Attempt

Chris's POV

I cleared my throat and opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I rubbed my face and looked back over at Raegan as she continued her light strokes through my hair. I huffed one last time before humming to myself.

"My whole world came crashing down. I had to grow up right then, in that moment and I didn't know what to do or what to say. I just walked away from the black house that I use to call home alone. Nobody was there to guide me..." I trailed off. My throat locked and I could feel myself croaking and my eyes began to water. I couldn't see anymore and I just looked over at Raegan as if I was pleading with her to understand and I turned my head back towards the wall to sigh deeply.

"Shh. You don't have to say anything else, Chris. I promise. You'll tell me when you're ready." she whispered to me wiping her own tears away.

I nodded and rubbed my chin. I wiped my eyes and gasped for air. Raegan brought my head down to her lap and I rested my head against her thigh. Her fingernails scraped my scalp and I shut my eyes.

She turned on the television and I stared at it but didn't pay attention to it. "I love you." she blurted out in a hushed tone.

If I didn't hear anything else, I heard that...