Into The Unknown

13.2

Chris's POV

*Three Hours Later*

I turned over to see Raegan in my bed snoring lightly. I lifted myself up from the bed and noticed the blood that made an unknown pattern in the bed and carpet. I looked at my arms and rubbed them in frustration and stood from the bed. This might be the worse episode I've ever had before. I walked down the stairs and pulled the metal mopping bucket from the closet and pulled down towels of various colors. I pulled out my phone and slipped my headphones on to calm my nerves. I poured cleaning supplies in the bucket and mixed scolding hot water with the supplies. I pulled the handle of the bucket up and tossed the towels over my shoulder while making my way up the stairs.

"But there are powers, in there air, you can't see them..." I sang lowly while trudging up the stairs to the bedroom Raegan continued to sleep in.

I walked in the room and slammed the bucket on the floor and threw the towels into the water. I lathered the towels with the chemical infested water and placed the towel on the floor to remove the blood stain.

"All I hear is bang-bang, gat-gat. I don't think the powers really want that. Breathing down my neck, always on my back, got the guns out, but I say fire. Fire. Ready, aim, fire." I began to sing louder while scrubbing away at the floor that covered my troubling week of terror and pain. I felt the memories of the week coming back which made my emotions build into a troubling mess. I scrubbed harder until my knuckles turned red.

"Chris. What are you doing?" I turned and looked at Raegan sharply and she backed away from me.

"I'm sorry, Chris. Come on get up. I'll clean that up." She spoke lowly.

"Nah, I got it. I made the mess, I have to clean it up." I said while scrubbing the blood on the wall. It seemed to only smear which made me curse under my breath.

Raegan pulled me up from the floor and looked directly into my eyes. She rubbed my cheek and turned me so that my back was facing the wall. I looked at her and turned around but she had a firm grip on my face so I couldn't move.

"Chris. You need to shower, okay? I'll go get your water on." She said sweetly.

"But I have to..."

"No you don't. Go in the bathroom." She replied sternly. I took her orders and slowly trotted to the bathroom. Soon after, she was in the bathroom turning the knobs on the shower to run hot water. Raegan looked over to me and smiled. I struggled but I smiled back to her. It was weak, and she knew it was.

"Here you go. Take your time" she said running her hand gently across my back.

I slowly stripped my clothes off my body and stared at myself in the mirror. The thoughts in my mind began to swarm together and my eyebrows bunched together tightly as I gripped my curls in my hand and let out a wretched scream. I slammed my hands against the countertop and sighed while looking at the cuts I put on myself. I turned towards the shower and stepped inside. I let the water run through my hair and down my face. I stood there for a minute and then the words swarming in my head finally came out of my mouth.

With the rain
Comes more pain
You never know (damn the weather)
Hard to hide
When I cry
This pain inside (ain't getting better)
Body shakes
I feel so numb (numb)
I'm shivering
Why did you go?

The water soon started to mix with the tears coming from my eyes. I knew this month was going to be bad but I didn't think it would be this bad.

I finished up my shower and dried my hair with the towel Raegan left for me. I ran the towel down my body and stared at the scars on my arm. I was disappointed in myself for doing this to myself all over again.

I made my way to my room and did my hygiene routine before grabbing my notebook and sitting on the floor near the window. I opened the book to the last song I remember writing and I began to write the next line. After I was finished, I parted my lips and began to sing. My heart was beating so hard it felt as if it was going to fly out of my chest. The words to the song were so powerful to my emotional and spiritual being that I could no longer lock myself away in the dark room I once called my own reality...

Why do we argue?
Why do we scream?
I wish it was better, I don't want you to leave
So sick and tired of drinking this bottle
Contemplating the pill overdose
I think this one shot will stop the pain
And now I'm sleeping, I just wanted you to love me...

To Be Continued...