friend #hyungwonho

#27

Hyungwon was sitting on his bed, staring at the Moomin toy in front of him. He remembered the time Hoseok had gotten it for him. He had been so happy and thankful back then but now he just couldn't think that memory like before. He grabbed the toy and threw it across the room. It hit a wall and landed on the ground. Hyungwon fell back on his bed.

He had been staying on the bed for the whole time since coming home the night before - he didn't even go to school and skipped it, saying that he had a headache. He hadn't eaten because he wasn't hungry at all. He just slept and thought about what had happened.

"Hyungwon, darling," Aunt Park said, knocking on the door. She was back because Hyungwon's parents had to leave for a quick trip of a day or two. Hyungwon didn't mind. She had noticed that something was wrong with Hyungwon's acting and that was why she seemed careful. "Your friend is at the door." 

He felt his stomach flip as if he had suddenly gotten really nervous. It was Hoseok. No one else would come to see him on his house. It had to be Hoseok.

"Tell him I'm not here," Hyungwon told his aunt.

"He already said he knows you're home and won't leave until he sees you," Aunt Park tried with a really kind voice. "Please come."

Complaining inside his mind while trying to tell himself he wasn't anxious, Hyungwon got up from the bed and opened the door. Aunt Park was there and she gave Hyungwon a smile when he walked past and started heading downstairs.

He opened the door and when he saw Hoseok's face, his heart skipped a beat and he almost forgot he was mad again. Hoseok hadn't done anything to his hair and the messiness of it alongside with the bags under his eyes revealed the fact that he had been staying up. He was holding his hands together and had the bouquet in them.

Hyungwon looked at the beautiful flowers for a while and then raised his head to face Hoseok. He was keeping his expression emotionless and managed to do it even though Hoseok's guilty look made it hard.

"Hyungwon..." Hoseok started and even though he had been practicing what to say on his way there, his mind went completely blank when he saw Hyungwon. "Hyungwon, please hear me out for a moment."

"You got ten seconds," Hyungwon said and the toughness of his voice made Hoseok get more nervous than he already was.

"I'm sorry, please understand. Hyungwon, I... I love you," Hoseok tried to make out the words he wanted to say. The corner of Hyungwon's lip twisted a bit when Hoseok confessed his love but other than that, his expression stayed blank.

"Your ten seconds is over. Now go fuck yourself," Hyungwon snapped and closed the door. He was surprised of his own act. Cursing was so easy now and for some reason it made him feel better.

He inhaled deeply and tried to think whether he just did the right thing. He looked from the blurred glass window in the door and saw that Hoseok was still standing there. Then he walked back upstairs.

"What did he have to say? Weren't the flowers for you?" Aunt Park questioned when Hyungwon walked past her.

"No," Hyungwon answered without stopping on his way back to his room. He slammed his door shut and jumped on his bed, pressing his face against his pillow.

Hoseok sat on the stone cold porch. He hit the bouquet against the concrete few times. The roses snapped in half and the red and white petals dropped from them to the stairs. He threw what was left on his hand to the bush next to him and buried his face in his palms.

He felt like all the confidence he had ever had was now gone. He felt so small. Not only was he scared of not ever getting Hyungwon to forgive him, he also feared for Hyungwon's sake. Last time when Hyungwon was without Hoseok for a week, it didn't end well - and Hoseok didn't want that to happen again.

There was nothing he could do now. He got up and walked away, looking over his shoulder once and saw that the curtains of Hyungwon's room were closed, just as they had been when Hoseok came.

Hoseok didn't take the bus this time either and walked the whole way back to the downtown. His mind was blank. Somehow he found his way back to the library. He hadn't had any thought about where he would go but when he saw the library in front of him, he was glad of his legs for taking him there.

Jiyoung was still there, sitting on the reading area. This time she was studying biology instead of English. She really seemed to be devoted at studying, spending the free time after school in the library and all.

"Oh no..." she gasped when he saw Hoseok and quietly put a hand in front of her mouth. "Because you're here, I'm guessing it didn't go well," she said when Hoseok came to sit next to her.

Hoseok just shook his head. He didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry Hoseok..." she said. Hoseok hugged her without saying anything. He felt so small. "What did you say to him?"

"I didn't get a change to say much," Hoseok shook his head, feeling like he could've cried. He didn't want to show weakness in front of Jiyoung. "I panicked and I just told him that I'm sorry and that I love him."

"Maybe he needs time," Jiyoung sighed. She felt a bit awkward patting Hoseok's back. She didn't know that Hoseok really needed it. Alongside Hoseok, Hyungwon only had his parents but Hoseok didn't have anyone else. He was not in terms with his parents so the only person he could possibly lean on was Hyungwon - and now Jiyoung too.

"I feel lost," Hoseok sobbed quietly, grabbing onto Jiyoung's shirt.

"It's gonna be okay," Jiyoung assured with a peaceful voice. "Just endure it for a while."

"I'm so worried too," he continued. Crying wasn't really his thing and when he was sad - like he now was - he just became emotionless. He couldn't cry though, even if he wanted to. He couldn't stop thinking what could happen to Hyungwon when he was on his own and desperate.

"It's gonna be okay," Jiyoung repeated and let go of Hoseok. "I don't know much about this person but I believe he will come back to you once he is ready to forgive you."

"Thanks Jiyoung," Hoseok said and tried to gather himself. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"I'm glad you know you can always rely on me," Jiyoung gave him a smile and then he left.

Hoseok walked to his empty home and took a shower to make himself look like an actual living person. Then he had to head back out because he had a night shift at his part-time job. Going to work was a good thing because working helped him get his mind away from Hyungwon.