friend #hyungwonho

#35

Hyungwon held Hoseok's hand while leading them outside. Hoseok carried both of their backpacks and jackets he had managed to grab from the hall quickly on their way out. When they were in the middle of the yard, Hyungwon suddenly stopped and let go of Hoseok's hand.

"Why is my life like this," he started talking after a while, his voice cracking already. He was standing a meter in front of Hoseok and Hoseok could tell what his expression was even though he only saw his back. "I thought my parents were the ones I could always trust in this world."

Hoseok didn't say anything nor try to approach Hyungwon in any way. He just stood back and listened carefully to what Hyungwon had to say. The words made him feel remorse, knowing how much he had hurt Hyungwon's trust too.

Hyungwon didn't continue talking but started to sob. He fell to sit on the ground. Hoseok took a step forward and placed his winter jacket on top of him. Then he knelt down next to him, put his hand behind Hyungwon's head and pulled him close.

Hyungwon didn't resist and just buried his head on Hoseok's chest. "I hate them," he gripped the older guy's sweatshirt with his one hand. "All the times they weren't there for m-me... was because of this."

"Shh..." Hoseok hissed, soothing his hair slowly, resting his chin on top of Hyungwon's head. "You don't hate them."

"I hate them. How can they plot against you and I to try to keep us apart too," Hyungwon's words came out muffled through his cries.

"They were just trying to protect you," Hoseok said. He didn't want to defend Hyungwon's parents he didn't like one bit but he knew how important they were to Hyungwon. He didn't want Hyungwon to be separated from his parents like he himself had.

"Why am I such a crybaby," Hyungwon burst into more tears after being silent for a while.

Hoseok saw Hyungwon's mother looking at them from the window for a while. He stared back at her for a moment but then looked away and focused on calming down the crying boy.

"Let's go," he said when Hyungwon seemed to have finally stopped bawling. He stood up and took Hyungwon's hand to pull him up from the ground too. Hyungwon had snow in his pants and they were a bit wet from the knees. He wiped his tears and pulled the jacket better on him. It was really cold outside.

Hoseok took his own jacket from the ground and put it on. He lifted up both of their backpacks and tangled his fingers together with Hyungwon's again as they continued walking away.

--

After a completely silent bus ride and a short walk, they arrived to Hoseok's apartment. Hyangsook was not there anymore which Hyungwon was glad about. Hoseok had thought he would see her still a bit so he was disappointed but didn't show it.

Hyungwon sat down on Hoseok's bed. He was looking down on his hands. Hoseok leaned against the wall and started at him, arms crossed above his chest and a wrinkle in between his eyebrows caused by worry.

"I'm sorry," Hoseok couldn't figure out anything else to say but that. He really meant it. There were so many things he was sorry about.

"If you knew about all this then why didn't you tell me?" Hyungwon suddenly asked and lifted up his head to look at Hoseok with eyes that were glossy even though he didn't sound like he was crying.

"I should have but I was so glad to see you happy and I wanted to protect you from getting hurt again," Hoseok knew how stupid he sounded and he regretted how things had turned out.

"How did that turn out? I got hurt anyways!" Hyungwon yelled out and Hoseok got startled of the sudden change in his voice.

"I'm sorry," Hoseok repeated, looking down because he felt shameful.

"I'm so sad, Hoseok," he let out after a while. He didn't sound like he was about to cry, he just sounded broken. "I'm so sad I just want to sleep and never wake up again."  

"If you want to sleep, I will be here when you wake up."

"Please make me feel better."

Hoseok thought for a while. Then he walked to Hyungwon and sat next to him. He wanted to help Hyungwon to not feel so sad but he didn't know how. He was afraid to even hug Hyungwon as if he was something fragile that would break if Hoseok touched him.

Hyungwon burst into tears again and laid  his head on Hoseok's lap. Hoseok had to lean back on the wall behind him so he could support Hyungwon's upper body.

And Hyungwon cried again.

Hoseok eventually started running his hand through Hyungwon's hair and when he did so, Hyungwon cried even louder.

Hoseok continued doing that until after a long time Hyungwon fell asleep on his lap.

--

There were two things Hyungwon did a lot and those were sleep and cry.

He woke up after two hours to the smell of food. He rubbed his eyes that were puffy because of all the crying. He rolled to his side to see Hoseok in the kitchen, fully focused on cooking with his back facing Hyungwon.

"What time is it," Hyungwon asked, his voice so hoarse the first two words barely came out.

Hoseok turned to look at him. "Oh, you're awake. It's almost three."

"Three? Why did you let me sleep," Hyungwon muttered as he stood up and walked to the kitchen where Hoseok was mixing black bean sauce to noodles. "Did you order this?"

"I did," Hoseok said and gave one bowl to Hyungwon. "You were so upset and I thought sleeping and food would make you feel better."

Hyungwon sat next to the kitchen table and started eating his noodles in silence. Hoseok came next to him.

Neither of them spoke until they had both finished their foods. Hoseok took their bowls and set them on the counter behind them.

"I have no idea what am I going to do now," Hyungwon said and turned to look at Hoseok.

"With what?" Hoseok asked because he was not sure what exactly Hyungwon meant.

"I want to forget everything and forgive my parents but..." Hyungwon ended his sentence with a small sigh as he was not sure how he would continue.

"It's okay if you give it some time too. They will understand that it's not easy for you."

"I'm not sure if I want to live in that house anymore."

"Why wouldn't you?" Hoseok asked, confused to hear something like that from Hyungwon's mouth.

"It's so empty and I always feel alone, even when Aunt Park visits me," Hyungwon looked down again and his voice became more quiet. "I don't think I will be able to sleep in that house on my own, knowing my parents have left me just to... do something like that."

"Then move to live together with me." Hoseok suggested bluntly. Hyungwon lifted his head up fast and turned his eyes at Hoseok.

"What?"

"Live here with me. It's closer to your school too, you won't have to miss me and since you basically already live here it wouldn't make any difference," Hoseok sounded much more serious about his suggestion now. He had a small smile on his face.

"Are you serious?" Hyungwon let out an awkward laugh and he seemed excited. "I would love to live with you!" he rejoiced and suddenly jumped up, pushing his chair away so he could stand up.

"Calm down," Hoseok laughed and stood up himself too so he could be in Hyungwon's level. "We can go get you some more things after Christmas is over."

--

i apologize i'm lacking inspiration

(suddenly i miss that burger from yesterday)