We Belong

• 13

Lani,

"Oh my god." I said feeling my face. I woke up in a cold sweat thinking about the dream I just had. It felt so real. I got out the bed and grabbed the cover going to the living room.

"See if this helps." I said to myself laying on the couch. I closed my eyes and tried to forget about it but I couldn't. It was so real, too real. What if this is a sign?

I needed to leave but it's 3 in the morning and I had nowhere else to go. I refused to go home and if I went to Chyna house she would want me to talk about what's going on and I didnt feel like it.

Tasha's house was my only option. I'm overthinking because Mike doesn't even live here anymore. He's out my life.

"Think of the babies..." I told myself. I closed my eyes and pulled the cover up to my face thinking about my babies. They always made me happy. Soon enough I was back to sleep like nothing happened.

Chris,

"C'mon ma drink the bottle." I told Liberty desperately as she continued to cry. It would only be a matter of time before she would wake Legend up.

I yawned trying to put it in her mouth again. She moved her face and I started to get frustrated. I sat the bottle down on the nightstand and held her closer to me rocking her how Lani does. She kept crying.

"Cause your love, your love, your lovee, wake me up, with some more of your love... cause your love, your love, your lovee, for some more of your love..." I sung to her. She smiled with her eyes closed and I rocked her some more until she fell asleep.

And Lani said this shit was hard. All it takes is patience. I laid her down in the bed next to Legend and instantly knew I fucked up.

She stayed sleep thankfully but Legend didn't. He cried loudly and I picked him up quickly hoping not to wake her.

I rocked him just as I did Liberty and when that didn't calm him I gave him the bottle.

"Fat ass." I chuckled watching him eat. He looked at me while drinking and you could tell it was taking everything in him to keep his eyes open. After he drunk the rest of the bottle I burped him and cut the light off so we could go to sleep.

~

"Answer." I mumbled as I dialed Lani number for the fifth time. She didn't answer any of my calls last night and now she dont wanna answer me now.

"What?" She said in the phone with an obvious attitude.
I scrunched up my face.

"You been gone all night with no word of where the fuck you at and all you can say is what?" I shot at her getting pissed off.

"Chris, don't talk to me like I'm a child. I'm grown and I needed to get the fuck away from you. Your disrespectful as hell and it's gonna bite you in the ass one day!" She argued. I rolled my eyes not caring for what she was saying.

"Whatever, where you at? I got shit to do so you need to come get the twins." She laughed like what I said was a joke.

"I'm a bad mom, I don't think I should be around them until i learned how to take care of them. Bye." She said and hung up on my face. I stared at my screen for a minute trying to make sure I wasn't delusional.

"This girl losing her fuckin mind." I mumbled throwing my phone down. I got the twins ready and grabbed their diaper bag putting them both in the backseat of my truck safely.

Apparently they mama wanted to play hide and seek so I had to work and take care of them today.

Lani,

After I got off the phone with Chris I suddenly wanted a change. All my life it's been about other people. I put other people's feelings in front of mine, and for what? It's not appreciated.

If Chris can run the streets to make money then why can't I? I shouldn't have to sit at home and play house while he's out all day and night.

I got up and went back into my old room and found all of my old clothes. Most of it all was now to small for me except for the pink sundress I had. It fit me perfectly and stopped at my feet. I found a pair of sandals to match.

"Thank God." I said heading into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stepped out of my clothes and into the shower letting the water pour down on me.

No matter how hard I tried not to think about it my mind kept wandering back to what Chris said to me last night. It only made me want to prove to him that I didn't need him. If I really wanted to I could leave and take care of myself. I just had to prove it to myself first.

I finally got out the shower and got dressed then headed downstairs where Jacob and Tasha were both eating cereal.

"Morning." I greeted and Jacob waved while Tasha smiled.

"Good morning, how'd you sleep?" She asked.

"Good." I lied remembering my dream.

"That's good, well I'm gonna take Jacob to school so if you leave just lock up for me." She said taking their bowls in the kitchen. She grabbed his book bag and picked him up leaving out.

About five minutes after they left I did too heading to my first destination. Today was my first day of doing me and I was honestly excited. I'm only 18 and I feel 30. I have so much of life to live that I won't be ignoring. Time to move the fuck on.....

_____________________________________

Chris has the kids 😲
What is Lani up to?
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