Northern Downpour|Ryden

Hey Moon

July 8th, the day that changed Ryan and Brendon's life forever. Ryan got the call at 8 am and then Brendon got the call at 9:05 am from Ryan. Spencer's mom called to tell Ryan that Spencer hadn't made it through surgery. He died on the operating table at 7:34 am. They knew the surgery had been risky but they thought he would be okay. They thought everything was going go fine. 1 in every 4, the doctor told them. They never thought Spencer would be that 1 but here they were, Brendon at his house, Ryan at his own, crying and wishing they were at the hospital. They had planned to come see him after his surgery, they planned on bringing him flowers and cards, they hadn't planned of Spencer dying.
Neither Ryan or Brendon knew what to do. Ryan had called Brendon and told him, Ryan hadn't reached full shock just then but 3 minutes after telling Brendon he lost it completely. His mom ran into his room and held him whilst he cried. Nothing was going to help Ryan recover, not Brendon, not sex, not even painting.
So there he sat 3 days after getting the news staring at the wall, a pillow clutched to his chest. He had stopped crying at early hours of the morning because his head hurt and he had run out of tears. He hadn't seen Brendon since the day before he got the news of Spencer's passing and he didn't want to see Brendon, he didn't want to see anyone. The funeral was tomorrow though so he had to see people soon and he dreaded it.  What was he going to do? His best friend was dead, after a month of promises that he would be okay by multiple people, he was gone. He shouldn't have believed anyone, it was 1 in 4. He should have known that he wasn't lucky enough to be the other 3.
"Ryan?" his mother called from outside of his room. Ryan didn't answer, he had asked her to leave him be but she obviously didn't listen. "Please come out. I haven't seen you in almost 4 days. This isn't healthy" she said whilst trying to open the door but Ryan locked it. There was a deep sigh from the other side of the door. "Brendon's here to see you. He's worried about you Ryan" There was some whispers and then Brendon's voice.
"Hey Ry..." Brendon sighed. "I know that you're depressed about Spencer, believe me I am too. I miss him and now I won't ever see him again" Brendon began to cry. "I just...I'm sorry-I miss you so much Ryan. I haven't seen you in so long and I just...I need you" Brendon cried, covering his mouth to hide the loud sobs. "Do you remember...when you said no matter what happens you would be strong-I get that you can't be strong because you thought he would be okay, we all did. And I know that you won't be okay for a long time but...baby, I miss you. I want to be held right now...please open the door" Brendon begged. Ryan was crying again, he had completely forgotten what he said and now he was being selfish for hiding in his room. He wasn't the only person who was sad about this, his boyfriend was standing outside of his room begging him to hold him.
Ryan wiped his eyes and stood up. He coughed away the lump in his throat and opened the door, letting his boyfriend fall in his arms in a fit of crying.
"I'm so sorry I've been hiding. I should have known you would be broken up too" Ryan told him, holding him tightly in his arms. Brendon didn't say anything. Ryan pulled him to his room and shut the door. Brendon let himself on Ryan's bed and laid down.
"I've missed you Ryan." Brendon let out through his tears.
"I know and I've missed you too Bren. I've selfish for hiding away. We're all broken up about Spencer." Ryan responded.
"You're not being selfish. Spencer was your best friend and he was my friend too. I just want to mourn with you. I feel better in your arms" Brendon pulled Ryan on to the bed and then Brendon crawled into his lap.
"I feel selfish. We aren't thinking about Linda or Mrs. Smith or anyone. I'm not the only person who is sad" Ryan sighed.
"Do you honestly think Linda or Mrs. Smith or worried about how you feel right now Ry? They are mourning their son and boyfriend. All of us are sad, Jon, Sarah and maybe even that douche bag Dan" Brendon shrugged.
"Brendon? Are you...jealous of Sarah's new boyfriend?" Ryan almost laughed.
"What? No! I don't care what she does. I have moved on and I'm glad she did too" Brendon half lied. Although he was over Sarah it still pissed him off that Sarah was moved on so happily but then again he didn't have much room to talk when he moved on to Dallon the day after they broke up.
"Brendon it's okay to be jealous. Even if you've moved on." Ryan told him.
"I am not jealous. Dan is just a douche bag" Brendon shrugged and Ryan shook his head, he wasn't going to argue over it.
"I can't believe he's gone" Ryan sighed. Brendon shook his head not being able to say anything about it.
"Let's not..." Brendon sighed. "Talk about him, okay? Please?"
"Yeah...okay" Ryan nodded. Brendon cuddled more into Ryan's chest. Ryan laid back and Brendon fell on to the bed and then laid half of his body on Ryan's. Brendon's phone went off and he sighed pulling his phone out of his pocket.
"Hello?" he yawned. It was his dad.
"I need you to come home. There's something I need to talk to you about. I know you're with Ryan and you're upset but this is slightly about him...do you mind?" he asked and Brendon sighed.
"Can I come back after we talk?" he asked.
"Yes of course." he told him. "I'll see you soon then" he hung up. Brendon sat up and Ryan whined, sitting up too.
"What's wrong?" Ryan asked, putting his hand on Brendon's thigh.
"My dad needs me to come home real quick. I'll be back I promise" Brendon stood up, pulling his shoes on.
"Okay. Well I'll see you later than?" Ryan asked and Brendon nodded.
"Of course babe" Brendon smiled and pressed his lips to Ryan's before leaving. "I love you!" he called half way down the stairs.
"I love you too" Ryan called and then the door shut.