Northern Downpour|Ryden

Don't you go down

Spencer's funeral came just as expected. The boys stayed at their own separate houses the night before the funeral and met up at the early hours of the morning. They got ready together in silence, not because they were angry but because they were sad and they were silent out of respect for one another.
After they got ready they got in Brendon's car and drove to the church together. The closer they got the sadder they were. Neither of the two cried, they had done all their crying days before the funeral, they couldn't any more. It physically hurt them, their chests ached.

"Hi Brendon" Jon said to Brendon as they came into the small, overcrowded church that smelled like smoke and despair.
"Hi" Brendon said coldly to Jon. Talking just didn't seem like something he wanted to do at the moment. Jon took the tone in his voice exactly how he should have and walked away. Ryan and Brendon were both a wreck, they couldn't even console each other.
Linda was hiding in the bathroom, away from everyone crying. Out of everyone, she was hurt the worse and no one at the funeral could deny that fact. Ryan left Brendon's side in silence to go find Linda, he knew Linda needed someone.
Brendon stayed in his spot, quietly looking around at everyone. Soon Sarah and Dan were by her side and Brendon rolled his eyes. They were the last two people Brendon wanted to see.
"Hello Brendon" Sarah said with a sigh.
"Yeah...hi" Brendon said just as coldly as he had before to Jon.
"Where's Ryan?" she asked nicely but Brendon knew that Sarah didn't care, she was probably hoping they had broken up or something.
"He went somewhere" Brendon shrugged and turned away. He wasn't sure where Ryan had gone, they hadn't said a word to each other the whole day.
"I'm sorry for your loss" Dan told Brendon right before Brendon was about to walk away.
"Yeah, well..." Brendon said whilst shrugging and then walked away. He was not in the mood to anyone, not even his boyfriend, let alone Dan. Unfortunately Brendon bumped into Dallon on his way to find Ryan.
"Hey Brendon" Dallon smiled down at him, Breezy standing right next to him, grasping his hand.
"What is this? Ghost of relationships past?"  Brendon looked up at them, he looked dead, he felt dead. It made sense, they were at a funeral.
"What?" Dallon asked.
"Nothing..." Brendon looked away.
"How are you?" Dallon questioned. Brendon looked around the church and then back at Dallon with a face that asked him "did you seriously just ask me that?" Dallon looked down at his feet and then at Brendon. "Sorry, I just hope...you're doing okay I guess. Where's Ryan? He must be really sad, Spencer was his best friend"
"I don't know where he is, I was just on my way to find him." Brendon informed him. "Now if you don't mind" Brendon went to walk away but was stopped by Dallon grabbing his wrist. When Brendon turned back around Breezy was walking away.
"I know you're upset but you don't have to be a jackass towards everyone. We were friends with Spencer too."
"I don't have to do anything Dallon. I'm upset, look around. We're at a funeral." Brendon told him. "You barely knew Spencer. I was close with him"
"I still knew him Brendon. I am upset too but I'm not being a dick towards everyone"
"I don't have time for this Dallon, I have to make sure Ryan isn't crying somewhere" Brendon pulled his wrist from Dallon's hand and stormed off.

Brendon found Ryan sitting on a bench consoling Linda. Brendon sat next to Ryan, putting a hand on his back. Ryan turned to face Brendon and let a small smile spread across his face. Ryan smiled because he was just happy that Brendon was there with him. He hadn't really paid much attention to anything, he was stuck in his own thoughts but when Brendon touched him to make sure he was okay, it soothed him a little.
"Thank you Ryan, this really helped, I feel a little better" Linda smiled at him and then walked off.
"And what about you? How are you feeling?" Brendon asked Ryan and Ryan looked down at his lap and then back up.
"I don't know...I should feel awful but I've been inside my own head ever since Spencer died, I just want out. I've been upset for so long I don't want to be anymore, you know what I mean?" he asked.
"Yes because I feel the same. Let's just...get through today and go from there, okay? Maybe we can sleep in our new apartment tonight, yeah?" Brendon offered.
"I'd really like that" Ryan smiled, biting his lip.