Northern Downpour|Ryden

Through playful lips made of yarn

Ryan had finally decided what he wanted to do. He took in a deep breath and let it out as he opened the door. Brendon looked up at Ryan and quickly stood up.
"I can't completely forgive what you did Brendon because you did a lot to hurt me and I know it wasn't intentional and you are just as human as I am. I also can't forget what you did either. As much as I want to but right now I can't look at you, let alone be in the same area as you" Ryan let out a breath before he explained further. "So I'm going to stay with my parents for a while, so I can get a clear mind. You and I need to take a break. Just for a while so I can figure out what needs to happen and so you can realize what you have done and truly be by yourself to acknowledge your mistakes and sit with them."
Ryan wanted Brendon to be paranoid like he had been for the past 2 days, he wanted Brendon to be worried that Ryan was never coming back like he had worried for Brendon to come home when he was out cheating and most importantly he wanted Brendon to feel heartbroken like he had when he found out he had been cheated on. Ryan still hadn't fully decided what he was going to do so being away from Brendon and his things was the best way to make a decision.
"Ryan...no. Don't do this. Don't leave." Brendon begged. Brendon knew if Ryan left he would most likely to choose to leave Brendon.
"Really wish I could have said that to you before you cheated on me" Ryan said sarcastically. Brendon's mouth snapped shut. "I need some time away from you right now. This information is still fresh and I can't handle it to be around you"
"F...Fine." Brendon sighed. "If that's what you need then go ahead."
Ryan just nodded his head and went back into the room to pack.
Brendon watched Ryan leave the apartment and drive off without saying a word and as soon as Ryan was gone he broke down in tears. He could not believe himself. Now that Ryan knew about his cheating and he had time to be alone with his thoughts and actually comprehend what was happening.
He had cheated on Ryan, the love of his life with Ian, a guy he knew for only a few days while drunk off his ass. He didn't even care about Ian now and hated him for taking advantage of him when he was vulnerable.
The thought of losing Ryan hurt him badly and made him cry even more. The two had been through so much and now that might all end because of one drunk night. He hated himself more than he could voice.

Brendon began to drink himself into a cold slumber. He couldn't bare his own thoughts so he drowned them out with liquor. He drove to a liquor store and paid a man to buy him a lot of beer and and whiskey.
He sat at his house drinking beer and whiskey until he couldn't process anything and eventually fell into a drunken coma.

Ryan stared at his old easel in his old bedroom. He began to remember the painting he made of Brendon over a year ago and how he felt so embarrassed to be painting Brendon because they weren't together and then they dated and Ryan fell head over heels in love with him. And then Brendon broke his heart.
He felt so stupid for believing he was different from his other exes. He cheated on Sarah so many times and they finally ended it. And Ryan swore he was different and that...That Brendon had changed and he wouldn't do anything to hurt him. But he wasn't different from Sarah or anybody he had dated.
He hated that he was stupid enough to believe he was. Though Brendon was never drunk when he cheated on Sarah but nonetheless he did cheat on him, no matter what state of mind Brendon was in, he still had cheated on him and that fact would never change.
"Ryan" Danielle knocked on his door making Ryan's head snap back to the door.
"Come in" Ryan sighed and then the door opened.
"It's been 4 hours. Do you want to talk about what happened yet?" She asked and Ryan nodded, he needed a second opinion on what to do and he needed to vent to someone about what happened.
Ryan let out a sigh before explaining what happened with he and Brendon and Danielle listened to it all before giving her opinion.
"I have never seen you happier than with Brendon. What Brendon did was very unacceptable and cheating is the lowest thing you can do to someone you care about but...Ryan." Danielle pondered releasing information to her son. "When your father and I first started dating he got drunk and cheated on me. I was in this same position of what should I do? I was in love him and i couldn't lose him, I knew that. So I thought long and hard and made him sweat for a long time before deciding that I should leave him. So I did, we broke up for 2 months. The whole time your father tried everything in his power to get me back and when he finally did he was sweeter and just better at everything. He made it up to me in so many ways. Yes what your dad did to me hurt really bad then but he never did it again and it almost made us better in a way." She explained.
"Mom I'm so glad you got back together with dad, really but that's you that's not me. I can't just let Brendon back into my life like nothing happened. He hurt me."
"I know he did Ryan. You deserve better than that. He he can't take it back but he can fix it and make it right. Brendon is pleading for you to forgive him and while it may take more than a few sorrys to fix what he did he will be able to. In a year or two you'll forget what he did. You two might be married and even have a few kids of your own and him cheating on you will be a distant memory" she pushed. Danielle liked the two together and she knew that even after Brendon did what he did Brendon still loved Ryan and would do anything to fix it.
"I know mom but what if he does it again?" Ryan questioned.
"If he does it again than you leave him. This was a huge mistake he made and you should at least give him a chance to prove that to you."
"I keep telling myself that he is truly sorry and that he fucked up and he was drunk but he also lied to me a lot and made me feel like an idiot"
"Yes and that was awful of him to do that to you but again he's a human and this is first offense. He lied to protect you from the truth and he shouldn't have. He should have told you when it happened but he probably wasn't sure what he was doing. You said he said he didn't remember it and probably doesn't so he didn't know how to go about it"
"But he cheated on Sarah a bunch. Shouldn't he have known how to tell me from being able to tell Sarah so many times?" Ryan asked and Danielle almost laughed.
"Of course not because he never felt the way he does with you when he was with Sarah. He told Sarah because he knew it would get to her and hurt her. He didn't tell you because he realized his mistake and hated himself and he didn't want you to find out. Because he loves you! If you wouldn't have ever found out that Brendon cheated it wouldn't have affected you at all. Eventually Brendon would have learned to live with the guilt but you wouldn't have been affected" Danielle explained. "And I'm in no way saying what Brendon did was okay. He really screwed up and I'm pissed that he did it. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't let this get in the way of your happiness."
"Thanks for the advice." Ryan sighed still not really sure what to do. Danielle gave him a small hug and then left the room.
And he did what he did best when he was sad or confused. He started painting.